To be sick of being told how well I look for my age

[Ofashynessthatiscriminallyvulgar]

At 32 years old. I was 32 in May, a friend who I've known for 8 years commented on my Facebook saying, 'Omg!! I had no idea you're 30, you look fantastic!"
First of all, I met her on a Postgraduate course 8 years ago, so if she'd used her brain a bit she'd have figured that I'd be at least 29/30, given that we had to be over 21/22 to do a postgraduate course, so to claim she had no idea of my age is rubbish. I know I sound harsh but not sure what 30s is meant to look like?
I have small signs of ageing, faint lines around the mouth and eyes, and I never get asked for ID anymore.
Anyway I've had it a few times. 'You look fantastic for your age!!"
I'm not sure what people expect, are you supposed to shrivel up the day you turn 30?
It's hardly 90 years old! Yes some people can have signs of ageing in their 30s, but they can have them in their 20s too. I dated someone who at 20 had very deep forehead and mouth wrinkles.
I think some people just say it as some sort of social nicety, since society is obsessed with youth. Anyway, aibu to find it frustrating? I think at any age it's quite rude tbh even if it's supposed to be a compliment.

'She looks good for her age' why can't they leave it at she looks good? I'm 51 and while I appreciate a compliment why is it always 'for my age' 😂

Yeah exactly, I really don't know what people expect. Are we supposed to look like a bag of rubbish any age over 29?

I agree 32 is a bit young to say this.

That said, unlike many on Mumsnet, I am happy to be told I am looking good for my age.

This is because I'm not deluded that objectively I look as good as twenty-year-olds who don't have double-chins and saggy bits. I work with them and have two late teens in the house and am realistic about how 'good' I look in comparison.

I think looking fit, appropriate for your age and nice in general is something to aim for.

I just don’t tell people how old I am. Only my brothers and closest friends know.

I once had this at the grand old age of 27.
Regularly get it now at an ancient 38 years of age because clearly I should be full of wrinkles by now. Note the sarcasm.....

I feel it's rude at any age, and I don't see why people can't just leave it at 'you look nice/well' as PP said.
I wish it was acceptable to look your age.

When I turned 50, I was told I looked good for my age a fair bit. I just thought, what's a 50 year old supposed to look like, a 70 year old?

I was always told that I looked young for my age. Doesn't happen anymore and that's fine We all age differently. My 30 year old niece looks like a teenager, but you do still look young at 30.

27, wow!
These days with all the cosmetic procedures available it's easy to lose sight of what ageing looks like too. I just think people have negative connotations of age, saggy, frumpy, haggard and so on

It must be really annoying and difficult to have people telling you how atteactive and young you look.
I'd be really pissed off too.

I think most people do look their age, their age these days with hair dye, good hair products, moisturisers and sunscreen, not many people smoke, no 'wash and set' hairstyles, trendy clothes at all ages. People do look younger than they used to at the same age I think, so by saying, you look younger than 30, they are refer to an imaginary 30 which is older and wrinklier. Plus you may just look really young and dynamic. I agree saying 'you look nice' full stop is better.

Nobody's said attractive, just younger. I really don't see it as a compliment. I want to look my age, I don't need to look younger.

I think that's social code for you looking nice/good. I get it's annoying though.

I agree, the friend who said that to me is around 50 and I think people generally look younger these days at all ages.

Stealth boast 🤔

I don't know why this annoys people to hear. I'm not boasting about anything, I'm saying that it's ridiculous somebody in their early 30s can be told they look well 'for their age', however it is rude at any age. Personally, I don't think I look younger, nor do I desire to.

It's annoying because it's ageist. Women are not meant to get older, our value is tied to how good and how young we look. People are trying to be nice in a way society has conditioned them to, but they are just perpetuating ageist and ageist stereotypes.

That was meant to say ageist and sexist stereotypes

I was still just a kid until 35…

Yes I agree, it is stereotypes. How often are men told they look well for their age? Especially in their 30s?
I look at William Shatner and William Roche from Coronation Street who do look remarkably well for their 90s, but I just don't think men generally get the same comments or feel these pressures.

I think thats quite a good take.

If you go watch tv shows of the 90s, the 30 something year old PARENTS of teens look positively haggard. They look like 50 year olds would look nowadays.

So I think thats what people compare it to?

But at the same time, I see people MY age who look SO MUCH OLDER than I do!
Like, seriously, they could have another 10 years on me, easily!
I cant explain that.

I dont know if I look young for my age (though people do tend to be suprised when they hear Im 40), but having blue hair probably helps people assume Im younger.

This hits the nail on the head 💯

🙄

@ASGIRC two things that age people are smoking (not early on, but later through the lines around mouth, lack of oxygen to skin) and also not having good teeth which can cause face to sag. Plus having a harder life, it does get etched on the body I think if you don't do a lot of compensating (she said shovelling the collagen tablets down her throat).

Well get this. I am 64 and was at a funeral a month ago, where I met several people, who have known me since I was 3. I say them for the last time at another funeral in 2019.
Both times the comment was "Felicity gets even younger". Not really, but I try to live a stress-free life and take care of myself.

PS. In December I was abroad on holiday and one of the massage therapists thought I was her age, 52. I will take that as age is just a number.