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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the bit of a Teams meeting where you're waiting for everyone to join?

68 replies

Preps · 15/06/2023 10:18

I'm not great at small talk at the best of times, especially with people senior to me. My strategy to avoid it at the start of a f2f meeting is to ask who wants coffee 😆

In a Teams meeting the 90sec while everyone joins can be excruciating!

OP posts:
Ambi · 15/06/2023 10:22

The trick is to not be the first, be a minute late.

Dotjones · 15/06/2023 10:22

I just stay on mute if I don't feel like speaking.

mynameiscalypso · 15/06/2023 10:23

If it's a big meeting, I wait in the meeting room until there are a few people there. Once there are more than 3 or 4, my teams comes up with a message and puts me on mute so I know it's safe to join.

Sunnyfeelgood · 15/06/2023 10:24

I hate it so much that I have now fallen into the role of 'one who makes awkward chat'

  • oh Donna, your hair looks lovely today
  • I saw a huge spider in the garden this morning
  • says hi to everyone who joins in a cheery bright manner

I resent myself for doing this but can't bear the silence hahaha

Newname2323 · 15/06/2023 10:25

I just turn up late

Hugasauras · 15/06/2023 10:26

Yes, I often sit at the bit just before you join where you see your camera and can adjust the background etc until I see there are X number of people in the call! Grin

GayPareeee · 15/06/2023 10:28

I always turn camera/mic off if first but did that the other day and sound was also off on laptop so took me several mins to realise everyone else had joined and were all shouting my name trying to get me back in 😳

ditalini · 15/06/2023 10:28

If there's loads of people there I just leave my camera off until it's ready to start, stick a "hello all" in the chat and get on with my work.

If there's just a couple of people (who I don't want to especially make small talk with) then I say hello and that I'm just stepping away for a couple of minutes and put my camera off.

I'm in one regular call with fellow introverts where we've all completely abandoned any attempt at civility and everyone just keeps mute with camera off until it actually starts.

flyingtherag · 15/06/2023 10:33

Yep!

And the ending where it's like nobody wants to look rude and the goodbyes go on and on!

Missingthegore · 15/06/2023 10:35

My org in big teams meetings we just crack on with emails or whatever until the chair starts. We are a camera on culture but acceptable to keep working until called to order
Smaller meetings some of us may natter but again if someone is flat out and doesn't engage in small talk nobody blinks an eyelid

rinseandrepeat1 · 15/06/2023 10:36

OBVIOUSLY this is the time when you talk about the weather.

'How hot is it where you are?'

'Did you get that rain this morning?'

'What's the weather going to be like near you this weekend?'

GrinGrinGrinGrin

megletthesecond · 15/06/2023 10:40

I quite like the randomness of who might be the first in the meeting. Will I get senior leadership and a bonus chance to chat or a newbie who works at one of our other sites....
Basically I'm nosy and happy to chat with anyone.

JauntyJinty · 15/06/2023 10:43

flyingtherag · 15/06/2023 10:33

Yep!

And the ending where it's like nobody wants to look rude and the goodbyes go on and on!

I hate this bit more than the awkward start bit! "OK good yeah bye then, bye. Thank you too, good to see you again, bye. Thanks all, Bye" All while you're desperately trying to get the moue to the hang up icon without being too obvious about it!

To the “I arrive late on purpose” people – does this not lead to competitive lateness, where meets end up starting longer and longer after the proper start time?

AlviarinAesSedai · 15/06/2023 10:46

That’s what the mute button is for and camera off!

Phos · 15/06/2023 10:53

Usually Teams shows you how many people are already in the meeting, I just wait until there are already a few.

ThePoshUns · 15/06/2023 10:53

I log on, but don't turn my camera or Mike on until the meeting starts or I see someone else has logged on who I don't mind chatting to

luckylavender · 15/06/2023 10:54

Ambi · 15/06/2023 10:22

The trick is to not be the first, be a minute late.

You'd get short shrift from me if you were in my team & were a minute late. Entitled behaviour.

luckylavender · 15/06/2023 10:55

Newname2323 · 15/06/2023 10:25

I just turn up late

Selfish

Mutabiliss · 15/06/2023 10:57

I can't bear it. Don't mind in real life, but on Teams it's excruciating.

I stay in the lobby until I can see quite a few people are in, or I join a minute late. With my video off.

brunettemic · 15/06/2023 10:59

Wait until you get the notification it’s started, the join but don’t click in straight away (you get the window where you have to click join), once about 5 people have joined it’ll mute you and you know there’s enough people to avoid the small talk. Voila, problem solved.

on a related note, why do people wave at the end, nobody waves as you leave a meeting room!

cocksstrideintheevening · 15/06/2023 11:02

I'm always a minute late. One minute. Unless it's one on on when I'm usually early.

lieselotte · 15/06/2023 11:02

Hugasauras · 15/06/2023 10:26

Yes, I often sit at the bit just before you join where you see your camera and can adjust the background etc until I see there are X number of people in the call! Grin

Same here.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 15/06/2023 11:07

Wow, these people who are intentionally late are just RUDE.

Febreezefantastic · 15/06/2023 11:16

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 15/06/2023 11:07

Wow, these people who are intentionally late are just RUDE.

rude, unprofessional, and they add to the awkwardness of the first minutes.

BestieBunch · 15/06/2023 11:19

We all just sit on mute and carry on with our pretend working until the host starts… even then we stay on mute until we need to say something.