Naked in front of your child

[weirdas]

What age Is it appropriate to stop being naked in front of your children (if any) and does gender matter? Ie dad and daughter or mum and son?

The same could be said to people on the other side of this argument.

Well quite, but of course I'm reading the comments aimed at clothes wearers. Anyway my point is that it is an individual choice not a right or wrong

I'm a 77-year-old grandad who regularly looks after granddaughter and grandson, 11-, 9-year-old respectively. Both grandchildren sometimes wander around naked, although they want privacy when pooing. Me too: although I don't mind if a grandchild wanders in while I'm washing or showering, I draw the line at sitting on the bog. (Wee? - Nobody cares.)

My granddaughter, especially, likes to chat with me when she's in the bath. (A while ago I persuaded their parents that grandson and granddaughter should not share a bath any more, but they're still comfortable around each other naked, albeit they touch less than they used to.)

I persuaded their parents that (as with my own children) the grandchildren should have complete autonomy over their own bodies from the youngest age: "No thank you for tickling!" was something I taught them to say when they didn't wish me or Uncle Jack/Auntie Joan (or anyone!) to touch/tickle them as young toddlers. And I insisted (still do) that Uncle/Auntie (and everyone) respect that wish. That seemed/seems to me much more important than nakedness.

I don't go out of my way to be naked, even in the heat, but it's not a big deal either way. And I do wear underpants when I sleep at grandchildren's house or they at mine - they sometimes climb in bed with me Saturday mornings, and I wouldn't like to be naked then. (At home, just with my wife. I sleep naked, always have: I left my last pair of pajamas behind at my mum's place when I left home in the early 60's.) Weekdays I put on a dressing gown to wake a child for school and leave them to dress themselves.

One day, I expect, perhaps, a grandchild will let me know, tacitly or explicitly, that he/she requires more privacy. That will be fine, also, when/if.

As you might guess, I'm wrinkly and misshapen, something more obvious when I'm unclothed. But, well, this is what it's like being human; I see no need to hide from my children or grandchildren (each of whom is physically perfect, btw). (I have happy memories of helping my own naked, wrinkly, disabled mother to shower and so on, in the years before she died; I'm not ashamed of that, why should I be?)

Oh, and I have other grandchildren I don't get to visit or look after so much. (Different country.) They don't like to see me or others naked, and they keep themselves covered. That's OK too; I'm happy to go along with their/parental habits and customs, and stay clothed more (though I do have to take care remembering where I am sometimes; "If in doubt, clothes on!" is a rule I set myself some years since).

People are different. Children too. There's nothing intrinsically shameful about our bodies, clothed or not; equally, some people like more bodily privacy than others. And children have rights even as against their family members.

I do make my children cover up on the beach - not out of any issues with their bodies but because they are fair and burn very easily, I know it's recommended to cover up in Australia for sun protection as well.

My parents are dead now but the thought of them naked makes me want to hurl. I did see them naked growing up and thought it was utterly repulsive. They were fairly liberal types. I wasn't and have never been abused. Now I'm an adult I'm not ashamed or particularly prudish, I won't have a fit if my DC walked in on me getting changed but I wouldn't dream of walking round the house naked. Putting on a pair of pants isn't difficult. The human body is nothing to be ashamed of, but you wouldn't walk round in public naked would you?

I wouldn't, no, but only because I know some people (like you) wouldn't like it, and I don't want to upset anyone.

At home, amongst close family, it's different; I know they won't be upset. Who cares? Not me, not my kids. So why not?

I do have to say, it does seem a bit sad that thoughts of your unclothed parents might make you feel sick. Sad, and kind of unreasonable? Especially given that, as you say, the human body is nothing to be ashamed of. But, there you go, takes all sorts, live and let live etc.

I wouldn't, no, but only because I know some people (like you) wouldn't like it

Vast majority of people would be affronted to come across you or someone else naked in the supermarket...so no need to insinuate I'm terribly uptight and prudish.

No, that is exactly her point. I don’t give two hoots who sees me naked; it’s roasting here today and tbh if I could have guaranteed I wouldn’t have been arrested or grossly offend people, I’d have done the school run nude.

I do have to say, it does seem a bit sad that thoughts of your unclothed parents might make you feel sick. Sad, and kind of unreasonable?

How is not wanting to see your parents naked sad and unreasonable😂😂😂

Yes, all those poor children missing out on seeing their parents genitalia.

My (young) children see me naked but it's not to educate or enrich their lives in any way. It's just life for some people and not for others.

That’s different, if I’m past midday none of the kids is allowed in the sun without a t shirt either . But we normally only go to the beach 1 hour to 2 hours max

Well, but there's a difference between "not wanting to see your parents naked" and "thoughts of your unclothed parents making you feel sick". No? Quite a big difference, I think.

I wouldn't say I particularly ever wanted to see either of my parents naked. But, far from the thought sickening me, actually it gives me good memories of my mother in her last years. She really appreciated me bathing her when she couldn't cope herself; very much not a case of making me want to "hurl", as the post I responded to put it, rather more of a tender memory of the old lady.

Hmm?

I may have been unclear. I know lots of people don't want to see naked people; so I keep my clothes on. But it's only for others (yes, like you) I do this. For me, not important.

No insinuation of prudishness, at least on my part. Do you see yourself as perhaps tending a little that way, I wonder? (Given you bring it up, if you see what I mean.)

I'm not interested in arguing about this. Have the final word if you like. Or just ignore this. No worries either way.

I see what you mean...I think it's probably unusual to have zero qualms about being naked in front of anyone at all.

Well, but there's a difference between "not wanting to see your parents naked" and "thoughts of your unclothed parents making you feel sick". No? Quite a big difference, I think.

Nope😂😂

What's the difference? She hasn't missed out on anything. And from what that pp said, it wasn't the just the thought, they were doing it when she was uncomfortable hence why it makes her feel sick. Hardly a puritan, she mentioned the ease putting on pants in front of your kids. Fair enough, really

Can't comprehend what's sad or unreasonable about that.

Getting changed in a public swimming pool family changing room is one example. My DD is 13 and asked me to help her shave her armpits in the shower. She will come into my room and chat with me while I'm getting dressed. There are 3 examples for you, not really sure how you view nakedness as lazy.

I think it simply comes down to peoples experiences and personal comfort levels, I live with my son and I still see my him naked when we’re at home because he doesn’t mind neither do I, although he doesn’t see me naked because I’m not comfortable with that. That’s all there is really

You searched through old posts to tell us this?

Red flags.

On the other hand he will always know what a normal female body looks like.

My 9 not far from 10 year old has just started wanting to dress in private and not see me getting changed so I'm respecting that.
Tricky when my 7 year old is all about the nakedness 🤣

I think girls seeing thier mum naked especially if she is happy with her body is really positive. It gives you a realistic view of probably what your body shape is going to be like and not comparing with unrealistic standards.

I’m mum to boys ranging from 16 - 22. None of them bat an eye walking into my bedroom if I’m naked! If they walk in the bathroom and I’m in the bath they will at least use a different loo but they’re not traumatised by the sight of me naked in the bath. If they needed to ask a question the fact that I’m actually in the bath wouldn’t stop them

None of them would let me see then naked (which is also fine)

Not read the whole thread, so excuse me if I'm repeating a pp...
I only started being private with my dc when dc started asking me to knock on the door of their bedroom, and me to wait for them to say "come in"....
... so I took that opportunity to then tell them I agreed and for them to extend me to same courtesy and privacy.
In my home, that worked really well.
I did only have the one dc though, and I appreciate it may be harder where you have dc of varying ages and thoughts on privacy... especially where two dc share a bedroom... they may each have differing wants.

This. When I couldn't bathe my dd due to back issues my husband went in with her in swimming shorts.