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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Naked in front of your child

223 replies

weirdas · 11/06/2023 21:43

What age Is it appropriate to stop being naked in front of your children (if any) and does gender matter? Ie dad and daughter or mum and son?

OP posts:
SpringleDingle · 12/06/2023 07:24

Mine is 12 and it’s just her and me in the house. We are both totally comfortable naked in front of one another. Would happily give her privacy if she wanted it but she doesn’t close the bathroom door and brings her clothes into my room to change and chat in the morning so is obviously ok with it.

TenoringBehind · 12/06/2023 07:25

Mine started being uncomfortable with it at about 9 years old.

now, as teens, they could think of nothing worse!

OrlandointheWilderness · 12/06/2023 07:35

My Dd is 12 and I'll still pop in after getting out of the shower etc to hand her something. I'm careful to give her privacy as some of the time she is self conscious and some of the time she'll absentmindedly get undressed with the doors open etc! 😂 play it by ear.

Bananananananananana · 12/06/2023 07:56

Maddy70 · 11/06/2023 23:47

Mine are in their 30s get a grip there is nothing wring with a human body

We're talking about opposite sexes here. Most girls aren't still getting changed in front of their dads into adulthood, same for boys and their mums. So yes, for most people, there is a point where it stops- nothing to do with wrongness of bodies.

This idea thy are is 'sad' as one person said, to not be naked in from of your kids is a strange take. Yes, I'm sure kids who stop seeing parents naked by age 7 are missing out compared to those who stop at 12😒

Nobody needs to get a grip because they have a different way of doing it to you

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 12/06/2023 08:14

WindowsSmindows · 11/06/2023 21:46

Whenever the parent is so old that the children say "oh my god you're so wrinkly you'll scare the grandchildren" 🤩

😂

I'd say whenever either party becomes/is uncomfortable with it. I can't imagine being comfortable with nudity with my DS once pubity starts.

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 08:32

Why would you ever be naked in front of your children?

Genuine question.

I hear this a lot, but cannot reason why it would ever be necessary.

There are multiple scenarios where it could happen if the parents were just lazy and didn't want to make any effort to cover themselves, but this just seems deliberate to me.

I'm struggling to think of ANY situation where it just can't be avoided and there's simply no alternative but to be naked in the same space as your children.

highlandspooce · 12/06/2023 08:36

OrlandointheWilderness · 12/06/2023 07:35

My Dd is 12 and I'll still pop in after getting out of the shower etc to hand her something. I'm careful to give her privacy as some of the time she is self conscious and some of the time she'll absentmindedly get undressed with the doors open etc! 😂 play it by ear.

What could you possibly need to hand her after you have a shower? Also, do you not simply wrap in a towel?

Who gets out the shower completely naked and goes into their kids room Confused

Nothingisblackandwhite · 12/06/2023 08:42

I don’t purposely go around walking naked but if I need to pick something outside my bedroom or if I’m having a bath the kids have no issue going in or seeing me naked , including the older teen one .

Nothingisblackandwhite · 12/06/2023 08:44

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 08:32

Why would you ever be naked in front of your children?

Genuine question.

I hear this a lot, but cannot reason why it would ever be necessary.

There are multiple scenarios where it could happen if the parents were just lazy and didn't want to make any effort to cover themselves, but this just seems deliberate to me.

I'm struggling to think of ANY situation where it just can't be avoided and there's simply no alternative but to be naked in the same space as your children.

I’m struggling to understand why would this be an issue ? Kids used to join me in the bath as toddler and even older ( 4 or 5 ) . I also sleep naked so o grit no need to cover . Being naked is a natural thing . I don’t see how covering yourself all the time has any benefits . As long as they grow they know about privacy and how to behave outside the house I honestly cannot understand your issue

Bananananananananana · 12/06/2023 08:49

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 08:32

Why would you ever be naked in front of your children?

Genuine question.

I hear this a lot, but cannot reason why it would ever be necessary.

There are multiple scenarios where it could happen if the parents were just lazy and didn't want to make any effort to cover themselves, but this just seems deliberate to me.

I'm struggling to think of ANY situation where it just can't be avoided and there's simply no alternative but to be naked in the same space as your children.

I think you're missing the point a bit. With young children, parents aren't trying to avoid being seen naked, so it's not a case of being lazy.

It's not deliberate either, although I will admit, people claiming to educate their child by showing them a naked adult body is weird to me.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 12/06/2023 08:49

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 08:32

Why would you ever be naked in front of your children?

Genuine question.

I hear this a lot, but cannot reason why it would ever be necessary.

There are multiple scenarios where it could happen if the parents were just lazy and didn't want to make any effort to cover themselves, but this just seems deliberate to me.

I'm struggling to think of ANY situation where it just can't be avoided and there's simply no alternative but to be naked in the same space as your children.

Well today for example, I opened the shower curtain and DS(6) had come in to brush his teeth. The towels are next to the sink so I asked him to pass me one. I also dry myself in the bathroom and pop on a robe to walk around the house. He was still in the room so we chatted while I dried.

I could have kicked him out but why when neither of us were bothered?

eurochick · 12/06/2023 08:50

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 08:32

Why would you ever be naked in front of your children?

Genuine question.

I hear this a lot, but cannot reason why it would ever be necessary.

There are multiple scenarios where it could happen if the parents were just lazy and didn't want to make any effort to cover themselves, but this just seems deliberate to me.

I'm struggling to think of ANY situation where it just can't be avoided and there's simply no alternative but to be naked in the same space as your children.

Changing at swimming is an obvious time. Before about 5 they can't manage changing themselves, nor can you shove them outside the cubicle into the public area while you change. Hotel bedrooms is another place. And they see lower half nudity when you take them to the toilet when out when they are young enough to share a cubicle.

OrlandointheWilderness · 12/06/2023 08:54

Well for example a few nights ago she wanted a towel out of the bathroom - I was literally passing her door!

Gymgoingfool · 12/06/2023 08:57

I find this forum very liberal about nudity. I see threads where folks will sunbathe naked or topless where the neighbours can see and don’t care, where someone’s naked in front of their window and folks say just don’t look, irs fine.

In real life I don’t regularly see folks naked and don’t know of anyone who insists in being naked in front of their kids until the kids have to look uncomfortable. Most stop before the kids make them.

I was naked in front of my child obviously but I was able to judge when it became inappropriate before she had to look uncomfortable about it. I find it disturbing folks continue until they can see their child is uncomfortable. It takes nothing to shove some knickers on.

5128gap · 12/06/2023 08:59

Unless they show signs of embarrassment its up to you. No rights and wrongs imo. Personally I don't particularly like being seen naked by anyone other than a partner so covered up at the point I felt they were old enough to notice the difference. Whatever people may claim, there's no virtue or benefit in going around without your clothes on if you don't want to, and covering up doesn't mean you're repressed and prudish. Just as being naked when everyone is comfortable with it is fine too. Watch out for signals of discomfort, but otherwise, do as you please.

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 09:04

You could turn your back to them, quickly change as you would if you were on a beach, then sort your kids out.

Absolutely no need to deliberately be naked in front of them.

Bananananananananana · 12/06/2023 09:05

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 09:04

You could turn your back to them, quickly change as you would if you were on a beach, then sort your kids out.

Absolutely no need to deliberately be naked in front of them.

Age dependent. No need to be naked in front of a teenager. If they're 3, I'm not bothered about being covered

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 09:06

eurochick · 12/06/2023 08:50

Changing at swimming is an obvious time. Before about 5 they can't manage changing themselves, nor can you shove them outside the cubicle into the public area while you change. Hotel bedrooms is another place. And they see lower half nudity when you take them to the toilet when out when they are young enough to share a cubicle.

You could turn your back to them, quickly change under a big towel, as you would if you were a beach, then sort your kids out.

Absolutely no need to deliberately be naked in front of them.

Gymgoingfool · 12/06/2023 09:07

Watch out for signals of discomfort, but otherwise, do as you please

by the time you can see a child visibly embarrassed or uncomfortable they have been thinking it for a long time. Kids are excellent at hiding anything they think will hurt their parents feelings. So by the time you can see it, they’ve been uncomfortable for a long time before.

onefinemess · 12/06/2023 09:09

Bananananananananana · 12/06/2023 09:05

Age dependent. No need to be naked in front of a teenager. If they're 3, I'm not bothered about being covered

But that's my point, you're just being lazy by your own admission.

If a man were to say what you just did he would be accused of misogynistic, predatory behaviour, forcing his child to look at him naked.

Whay is it different for you?

lifestylevlog · 12/06/2023 09:12

I'm old school.

My kids have never really seen me naked.

Maybe just when I got changed when they were in the cot as babies.

I don't like anyone seeing my naked, but that's my issue!

Bananananananananana · 12/06/2023 09:18

But that's my point, you're just being lazy by your own admission.

It's not laziness. When I say not bothered, I mean I and others don't mind it, rather than 'I can't be bothered to fetch a towel'.

Plus, if I breastfed my children past 1, why would I suddenly be overly concerned about nudity? Most people don't mind being naked in front of young children because they're not uncomfortable and they don't know about sex.

To them it's just funny, or they simply don't notice at all.

Spamlla · 12/06/2023 09:19

Daisybuttercup12345 · 11/06/2023 23:00

Swimsuit?

You think I should wear a swimsuit in the shower in my own home, so my child who I birthed and breastfed doesn’t see my body? 😬

EBearhug · 12/06/2023 09:20

It depends on context, doesn't it? Swimming pool changing rooms vs sitting down to dinner. The former is quite normal, the latter would be very odd (unless a naturist household, I suppose.)

ShimmeringShirts · 12/06/2023 09:25

I’ve drawn the line at 4/5 with all my children. They all reached a stage of staring at me (in a kids curiosity way!) and either asking questions or making comments and I felt uncomfortable with it. Two DS and one DD, it was the same for all of them. Their dad never felt comfortable being undressed from the waist down with them though, I didn’t feel it was my place to push him on something when he’d expressed firm boundaries about it either.

I think it’s time to stop when either parent or child feels uncomfortable with it. There isn’t a set age because everyone is different and all families and their attitudes towards bodies are different. Go with what you’re comfortable with, no one else’s opinion matters on this.