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AIBU?

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Original poster

Naked in front of your child

223 replies

weirdas · 11/06/2023 21:43

What age Is it appropriate to stop being naked in front of your children (if any) and does gender matter? Ie dad and daughter or mum and son?

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 11/06/2023 21:45

I don't know. My oldest is 7 and still not worrying about it. She is starting to seek privacy though, closing the door to get changed etc, so I think soon.

Weal · 11/06/2023 21:45

i stopped when they started commenting or asking uncomfortable questions about my body. “Why is that so hairy”. “Why are your boobs smaller without the bra”.

DustyLee123 · 11/06/2023 21:45

They stopped when they chose not to be in when I was changing. DS was late primary school DD, 17, still wanders in if I’m changing !

Summerishereagain · 11/06/2023 21:46

When each party feels uncomfortable.

WindowsSmindows · 11/06/2023 21:46

Whenever the parent is so old that the children say "oh my god you're so wrinkly you'll scare the grandchildren" 🤩

Georgig · 11/06/2023 21:48

Same gender I think never...opposite I think when they begin to feel uncomfortable....in our house about age 14-15yo!

drstranger · 11/06/2023 21:49

Ds is 8 and I've noticed him staring at me when I've got no clothes on so i think it might be time to cover up abit more, I know it's just curiosity but I also worry he'll have the image ingrained into his brain when he's older 😆

Spamlla · 11/06/2023 21:53

It’s tricky because I need to put my kids in the shower, and I have to get in with them otherwise I can’t close the door and the water goes everywhere. So obviously I have to get undressed and get in. When they’re capable of washing themselves properly I’ll stop, but that hasn’t happened yet at age 7. Other times I make sure I’m clothed but showers are a problem.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 11/06/2023 21:56

Spamlla · 11/06/2023 21:53

It’s tricky because I need to put my kids in the shower, and I have to get in with them otherwise I can’t close the door and the water goes everywhere. So obviously I have to get undressed and get in. When they’re capable of washing themselves properly I’ll stop, but that hasn’t happened yet at age 7. Other times I make sure I’m clothed but showers are a problem.

If that is an issue for you or for them. why not putting a swimsuit on? Just a thought

angelicaelizapeggy · 11/06/2023 21:58

DS is 11 and definitely past that point now.

If same gender not sure. I would not feel comfortable getting undressed around my own mum/seeing her get undressed but everyone’s different.

Soapboxqueen · 11/06/2023 21:59

When/if the children feel uncomfortable.

No I don't think the sex of the parent or child is relevent.

Some people don't feel comfortable naked. Some people really do (this would be my house) so I think it's pointless asking others for the most part because they'll only be talking about their personal level of comfort.

hattyhathat · 11/06/2023 22:04

I'm going to stop as soon as my child is old enough to get ready by themselves reliably and understands an instruction to stay out my room. I need space.

Lollypop701 · 11/06/2023 22:06

Go with the kids.. although mine got reserved for themselves but will happily talk to me in the bath😂 we have a Knock on the door policy m, from when I noticed shut door s which seems to work.

Spamlla · 11/06/2023 22:09

I think there’s always going to be some level of nudity between close family because you end up having to look after each other. After I had my c section my mother had to help me out of bed for a fortnight, she had to hold my breast and show me how to latch the baby on, and she had to check up my rear end when I thought DC had given me threadworms. When she thought she had a breast lump I had to examine it for her because she was scared. When I had a broken leg as a teenager my Dad had to lift me in and out of the bath, and when he had a hip replacement many years later I had to help him get in the shower and change his clothes. During Covid when appointments were online I had to photograph his arse and text it to the GP!

Aprilrosesews · 11/06/2023 22:09

i still get changed around my mum aged 30. She was always very open about her body and how she looked and why etc (saggy tummy because of 2 babies later in life). It’s helped me tremendously with my body confidence postpartum that I know that the way I look is ‘normal’. I will be naked around my son as long as he feel comfortable as it will be the first female body he’s exposed to and I want him to know what women actually look like and not the altered bodies he’ll be exposed to online

whattodo22222 · 11/06/2023 22:15

My daughter is only 1 so we see each other naked all the time. My own mum was pretty free with nudity and I'm glad she was, it meant puberty and all the things that come with it weren't a surprise to me. She last saw me naked when I gave birth and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I remember seeing my dad naked a couple of times by accident 😂 so we definitely treated it differently according to sex. I'm not really sure what I'd do if I had a son tbh, probably take his lead and look for signs of him finding nudity awkward / wanting privacy

QueefQueen80s · 11/06/2023 22:16

My boys are 9 and 6 and not an issue yet

Ontheperiphery79 · 11/06/2023 22:20

One of my twins, age 5, started looking uncomfortable if she saw me naked a few months ago. I asked her about it and she said she didn't like seeing my hairy front bum! So, that was the age for her and, whilst her twin isn't phased at all by my apparently horrid public hair (🙃), I've just put the boundary in place to respect the one's sudden aversion (I'm hardly frigging Chewbacca 😅).

mumonherphone · 11/06/2023 22:24

I have a six year old son and we are definitely not at the point yet of him caring. I get him out the bath and he might wander in for a chat while I'm getting dressed/on the loo.

The only thing I have ever tried to hide from him is my period. I just haven't wanted to explain that yet.

FindingTheFox · 11/06/2023 22:25

When they start to feel uncomfortable/embarrased - which was 7ish for both of my DC.

PartyFarty · 11/06/2023 22:28

Aprilrosesews · 11/06/2023 22:09

i still get changed around my mum aged 30. She was always very open about her body and how she looked and why etc (saggy tummy because of 2 babies later in life). It’s helped me tremendously with my body confidence postpartum that I know that the way I look is ‘normal’. I will be naked around my son as long as he feel comfortable as it will be the first female body he’s exposed to and I want him to know what women actually look like and not the altered bodies he’ll be exposed to online

This!

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 11/06/2023 22:29

Around age 9 my son started wanting privacy when he got undressed so I took that as a cue to also stop being naked in front of him. My DD is 13 and we have no problem with seeing each other naked. I think gender does make a difference.

Siameasy · 11/06/2023 22:34

My 8 year old DD isn’t bothered - in fact she finds it amusing and chases me.

2bazookas · 11/06/2023 22:35

I'll let you know when I find out. I'm only 76.

eurochick · 11/06/2023 22:37

Spamlla · 11/06/2023 22:09

I think there’s always going to be some level of nudity between close family because you end up having to look after each other. After I had my c section my mother had to help me out of bed for a fortnight, she had to hold my breast and show me how to latch the baby on, and she had to check up my rear end when I thought DC had given me threadworms. When she thought she had a breast lump I had to examine it for her because she was scared. When I had a broken leg as a teenager my Dad had to lift me in and out of the bath, and when he had a hip replacement many years later I had to help him get in the shower and change his clothes. During Covid when appointments were online I had to photograph his arse and text it to the GP!

Really? I had a CS and my mum came nowhere near seeing me naked. She also never had to hold my breasts. I find that really bizarre. She found a breast lump and went to the dr. I was not involved! It's obviously fine if your family is comfortable with that sort of thing but it is certainly not inevitable!

As for the original question... My husband probably started covering up around my daughter at about age 6. I still get changed in front of her at 8/9. She is totally happy being undressed in front of both of us at that age. When she isn't she can have privacy.