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Original poster

Naked in front of your child

223 replies

weirdas · 11/06/2023 21:43

What age Is it appropriate to stop being naked in front of your children (if any) and does gender matter? Ie dad and daughter or mum and son?

OP posts:
Housefullofcatsandkids · 11/06/2023 23:42

My older boys are 21 and 15 and will happily stand at my bedroom door chatting to me while I'm getting changed. They don't walk around naked in front of me though.
I still go into the family changing rooms with my mum when we take my younger children swimming.

Beseen22 · 11/06/2023 23:44

I've always been quite open with DS, he used to always come in the bath with me but it just kind of came to a natural end. I think school is very good with privacy so sometimes he will ask for privacy if he is getting changed or take himself off to the toilet. If I'm getting changed or in the bath he would happily wander in and chat but the other day when I was getting out of bed with just pants and a long time shirt on he handed me my pj bottoms and said that I could put them of because it was embarrassing. He's 6. He has very little issues around nudity himself and happily runs about naked for a while before his shower.

I've always been strong on them changing in the bathroom if there is anyone who is not immediate family in the house. Or even when little and changing nappies I took them to a private space so maybe he is picking up on that?

Ihatepickingausername3 · 11/06/2023 23:44

I’m not particularly bothered about nudity. I won’t actively walk around naked but if I’m in my room getting changed or in the bathroom and the kids want to talk I don’t bat an eyelid or particularly change what I’m doing ( dressing / undressing / bath usually). My daughter is 9 and she likes her own privacy though which I respect. My sons a bit younger and he cares not at all yet… but I’ll give him the same privacy when he does express he wants it.

Maddy70 · 11/06/2023 23:47

Mine are in their 30s get a grip there is nothing wring with a human body

FiguringLifeOutOneFuckUpAtATime · 12/06/2023 00:02

My DS (7) and DD (5) have no issues with seeing me or each other naked, though DS has started insisting on privacy getting changed when around other family members. Once they show any discomfort, or need privacy for themselves from me, then I will follow their lead. I don't expect it for a good while yet though.
I had some serious issues with body confidence and self esteem as a teen/young adult (due to SA when I was 9 and 16), so I am determined for my kids to learn to be comfortable in their bodies, teach them safe boundaries and encourage them to ask questions. I'm open about having periods to both my DS and DD as neither of them believe that I need privacy in the bathroom, and of course they are curious to the sight of blood. I'd rather normalise this stuff early.

Though... some of the body questions are becoming a little... questionable...
DS7: "Mommy, why do your boobies look... long??" 😳
Me: "That would be because of you darling children..." 😬😅

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 12/06/2023 00:12

I'd say about 11 for opposite sex. For same sex if they are uncomfortable.

Ozmumofboys3 · 12/06/2023 00:16

I have 3 boys aged nearly 16, 12 and 10. I don't actively strip off in front of them but if they walk in my room/ensuite when I'm changing or showering I don't rush to cover up. They know the deal when they walk in! They'll avert their eyes, groan but then get on with whatever they've come in for/continue the convo.

DramaAlpaca · 12/06/2023 00:27

I come from a family that never did nudity in front of others, as does DH.

I don't think any of our now adult sons has seen either of us naked, at least not since they were tiny infants.

It's fine. It's normal for us.

As for anyone else, it's fine until the child becomes uncomfortable with it.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/06/2023 00:27

When he leave me in peace. He's 8, just. Totally unfazed by it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/06/2023 00:31

My 14 yo dd doesn’t seem to care about seeing me. She doesn’t want me to see her completely naked atm though. For the past couple of years or so she’d rather not see dh naked.

Tessabelle74 · 12/06/2023 00:38

When they become uncomfortable with it. There is no set age

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 12/06/2023 00:40

I think kids generally let you know when they care. DD when she was about 9 started to make sure she had privacy when she got changed, I took that to mean that she'd probably prefer not to see me naked too, so I made sure of it.

There's a lot of people saying that they stopped because they noticed their kid looking or they started asking questions. I think that's the wrong route. Kids need to learn about the opposite sexes bodies, and also that nudity isn't anything shameful, but also that privacy is to be respected.

thecatsmeows · 12/06/2023 00:43

I'm nearly 55 and myself and my two brothers have never seen either of our parents naked. My mother would have thrown an absolute fit if my father had even let us see him in underwear, let alone with nothing on. Even as her only daughter my mother has never got changed in front of me. I would have been so young the last time she saw me naked that I can't actually remember when it was.

Judging by this thread myself and my two brothers had an unusual upbringing when it comes to this...

Shamefulsecrets0 · 12/06/2023 00:43

My children never leave me alone and the oldest is 8, neither could care less. Any questions are answered in an age appropriate, factual way, and nothing is taboo or shameful to talk about. So both of my children know about periods for example (or at least the very, very basics they're not interested in learning about hormones yet 😂) and know the correct names for their body parts. They have never seen their dad naked either because he's not comfortable with that so I think it's whenever either person feels uncomfortable really.

Remaker · 12/06/2023 00:58

DD started being more private with me around age 11 when puberty started. DS was probably about 10 when doors were being firmly closed. So I took my lead from them and covered up and always knock before entering. All of us walk around the house from shower to bedroom wth just a towel on.

I was quite open with my mum and she was happy to change in front of us regardless of age. But I am not going to make my kids uncomfortable because of how I think things should be.

DS15 yelled the other day when I walked into his room as he was getting changed. I’d knocked but misheard what he said (might teach him to stop grunting!) He was wearing black trunk undies and putting a tshirt on so I did tell him he was being a bit precious.

fireflyloo · 12/06/2023 00:59

Dd12 and I are still happily naked around each other, dh is more conscious now with age,

InvincibleInvisibility · 12/06/2023 01:10

With their grandparents it was around age 8 for both DSes

With us the 9 year old still doesn't care (his nakedness or ours). The 11 year old generally gets changed in private (started when puberty began) and will avoid coming in my room if he calls and I say Im getting changed. However we spend a lot of time in swimsuits and getting changed in and out of them and none of us make a particular effort to cover up and the 11 year old is still comfortable with that.

My 2 boys asked loads of questions about bodies when they were tiny, as well as about periods. They haven't asked any for years and seem pretty comfortable with it all.

I did buy my eldest a book about puberty for boys, which also includes what he might see happening to girls, which i think is important. Mummy's body has always been this shape. Whereas his friends who are girls whom he has known since he was 3....well, they're changing quite a bit!

FatGirlSwim · 12/06/2023 06:30

Spamlla · 11/06/2023 22:09

I think there’s always going to be some level of nudity between close family because you end up having to look after each other. After I had my c section my mother had to help me out of bed for a fortnight, she had to hold my breast and show me how to latch the baby on, and she had to check up my rear end when I thought DC had given me threadworms. When she thought she had a breast lump I had to examine it for her because she was scared. When I had a broken leg as a teenager my Dad had to lift me in and out of the bath, and when he had a hip replacement many years later I had to help him get in the shower and change his clothes. During Covid when appointments were online I had to photograph his arse and text it to the GP!

The thing is, this isn’t ‘having to’. I’d personally die before I allowed my parents to do any of those things and I think they feel the same.

Different families have different boundaries.

FatGirlSwim · 12/06/2023 06:32

I think it’s when either party feels uncomfortable. That will vary a lot between individuals and families. For some it will be never, others 7+, and everything in between,

Thoughtful2355 · 12/06/2023 06:47

im an adult and me and my mum can still be naked around eachother it doesnt bother us but if it was opposite sex then id say after 10/11

RecycleMePlease · 12/06/2023 07:10

Just going about my business, eg dressing/showering, i'll leave to them to deal with once they are uncomfortable - they are perfectly capable of leaving the room (which 9 year old does, but 12 year old prioritises continuing to talk to me, so doesn't yet)

From my side, they're my kids, I literally made them, they are pretty much small pieces of me, so if they see me naked, I don't really care (as long as they're polite!)

Beezknees · 12/06/2023 07:12

When DS started being uncomfortable with it. Around age 9.

Dancingcandlesticks · 12/06/2023 07:15

Puberty probably
But my 60 year old mum has definitely changed her top (think we were in the car and it was chucking it down so she’d got drenched - there was a reason!) in front of my adult brother. He wasn’t fussed. I think it does depend on the family.

Simianwalk · 12/06/2023 07:20

Lottle · 11/06/2023 23:01

My son (4) has never seen me naked. Is this something I should have been doing?!

It's very unusual! Why ever not?

BriarHare · 12/06/2023 07:23

My sons are young adults and will still come into the bathroom to chat to me while I’m in the bath.