Wedding invitation - please give us your money (basically)

[Truestorypeeps]

Received a second wedding invitation in a row which mentions words to the affect of, we would very much appreciate money towards our honeymoon as a gift. I personally couldn't physically write this in an invitation as it just feels presumptuous and tasteless.

Maybe this last invite got my back up as this couple have been together well over ten years, already have children, earn c.150k between them, massive house and already go on countless holidays at home and abroad. They could have easily omitted such a line from the invite. I understand they don't want toasters and towels, but surely there's another way?! E.g. heading, 'wedding gifts', below - 'your presence at our wedding would be more than enough, but if you'd like to gift us something to mark this day, please give a donation to XYZ charity which is close to our hearts because of XYZ??? Owing to the fact they are bloody rolling in it.

I agree. I wish more people would do this. I never know what to get for people.

Who are you to Judgey McJudgerson them by telling them they should get people to donate to charity - laughable.

Pretty much everyone wants to take a gift to a wedding - if there’s nothing they need, rolling in it or not, if they don’t specify something, they’ll end up with loads of stuff they don’t want. If you do t want to give them money, don’t! It’s your choice, but I see it as fine to be suggested.

Anyone who goes to a wedding will anyway spend some kind of money on gifts £30 or £300. What is harm is giving them cash?

No harm at all - after all it's what the vast majority seem to give now, knowing perfectly well that folk already living together will mostly have the "stuff" they need

It gives the lie to the endless "It makes it easier" and "they'd get a load of tat they don't want if they didn't specify" though - except maybe for the occasional dotty guest who insists on giving some homemade "treasure" to everyone, and you'll never change that

I sometimes wonder just how much of this is down to a similar mindset to a young acquaintance of mine, who openly said "if we ask for cash they'll have to give more than they'd have spent on a gift"

I think it’s awful to write that on an invitation. Surely nowadays money is a standard gift? Who gives a present? I personally could not put that on an invite but I do remember telling my mum that if relations asked her what I’d like, to tell them cash

Personally I'd rather give money. If I give a gift it will be something thought out which takes some effort to find. Money is easy. The only issue with money is there is no sentiment, so for that reason I'd rather some kind of registry. The last wedding I went to, they had one online where you pick the gift and they get delivered to the couple a few days after the wedding. Brilliant idea, and so easy.
I can also understand now that people don't want or need anything so I don't mind giving cash either, makes sense as most use it for their honeymoon.

We put nothing on our invites because most had to travel to our wedding from England to Ireland so we said that expense was enough and we had already owned a house together for 5 years. But we still ended up with Waterford, Tipperary, Cavan and Galway crystal. 6 crystal mantle piece clocks, crystal fruit bowels x 5, crystal whiskey tumblers (very nice tbh) but probably don't need 3 sets, duplicated Denby (stíl in use 27 years later) and a good few crystal vases. Whilst it is funny looking back and we found a place and use for all of it, I can see why people are specific about wanting 'no boxed presents' as they say here.

Do people really see a combined income of £150k as ‘rolling in it’ and ‘swimming in it’?

On what planet is it not?

Don't feed it. It knows what it's doing.