Wedding invitation - please give us your money (basically)

[Truestorypeeps]

Received a second wedding invitation in a row which mentions words to the affect of, we would very much appreciate money towards our honeymoon as a gift. I personally couldn't physically write this in an invitation as it just feels presumptuous and tasteless.

Maybe this last invite got my back up as this couple have been together well over ten years, already have children, earn c.150k between them, massive house and already go on countless holidays at home and abroad. They could have easily omitted such a line from the invite. I understand they don't want toasters and towels, but surely there's another way?! E.g. heading, 'wedding gifts', below - 'your presence at our wedding would be more than enough, but if you'd like to gift us something to mark this day, please give a donation to XYZ charity which is close to our hearts because of XYZ??? Owing to the fact they are bloody rolling in it.

I hate this too, but you'll find most guests love it because it takes the pressure off thinking what to buy.

Exactly, god you wouldn't go without a gift, get them something they want fgs.

Meh isn't it better than getting something they don't really want from a john lewis gift list?

And then you'd be moaning you didn't want to donate to xyz charity

Hideously tacky and grabby

It's tacky as fuck. But why should they ask you to donate to charity just because they earn well? As much as its tacky I prefer to just throw money in a card it's easier than trying to think of a present.

Giving £50 to charity still costs you £50.

They dont need to be virtuous all the time.

You sound really nasty and jealous of them.

What if you didn't agree with their charity.

Don't go as you clearly don't like them.

I think a lot of people write this now so they don't get 6 mr and Mrs mugs and endless tea towels.

People use to buy gifts for the newlyweds house but majority of people live together a few years before getting married now.

I agree it comes across rude but I'd rather have the money than unwanted cliche gifts.

I think it is tacky to include the gift registry or request a type of gift in the invitation. Wait for guests to get in touch and ask what they would like for a gift.

Yep, you sound jealous af. So people who are well off aren't entitled to receive gifts? If you're that upset, don't go to wedding and don't buy a gift.

I’m always happy with giving money, the easiest low effort present ever. Would rather that than having to go and think of something, buy, wrap and still get a card, this way it’s buy a card and bung some cash in.

If they already have everything then doing something nice together on honeymoon sounds like a nice option. Especially since they have kids and probably don’t get much alone time

This, just don't go then you won't be offended.

I agree it is a bit crass to ask for money even if it is "your presence is enough but if you'd like to give something then please make a contribution to our honeymoon". I think the best way is to be silent on the topic and most people give money ir vouchers now anyway I think.

However, I disagree completely with your reasoning about them having children and their income. You don't necessarily know their financial circumstances and I don't think they are less worthy of a gift just because they have been together a long time, have children and earn a decent living. If anything, having lived together a long time is a good reason not to want to be gifted things they might not already have.

what exactly is the cut off point for them not to deserve a gift?

I'd much rather gift something people want than have to buy a bottle
of champagne and two flutes.

What do you want them to do then? If they already live together, they probably have everything they need. Can you imagine every guest bringing a gift that is just going to clutter up the house or be duplicates of existing belongings? What a waste.

I don't think that they should be obliged to donate to charity just because you have decided that they are rolling in it.
I also completely understand why they don't want a load of household goods.

Personally, I just omitted the gift part from our wedding invitation but some people asked and I then felt awkward. Most did, very kindly, put money in a card.

£150k is hardly rolling in it. Just give them a gift if you can’t bear to contribute what they actually want. You sound jealous.

The worst ones are those which basically say "give us your money " but disguised in a twee little poem.

I'm glad it's not just me! I read it and it gives me the ick.

I'd be tempted to reply " I regret we cannot accept the wedding invitation or fund your honeymoon as that's the weekend we'll be in Blackpool; we've been saving up all year."

So are you going to the wedding OP?

The charity ones are way worse. I’ll donate money to causes of my own choosing thanks very much.

These people are wealthy so they can buy what they like and can’t think of anything specific. I agree they don’t need to mention money but it’s a pretty standard thing people include now.