We are shortly leaving Australia for 3 weeks in Germany. DH has just announced that sister in law and her adult son would like to stay in our house while we are away. DN is having surgery and DSis would like to stay here with him for a few days.(She lives in a different city). I am generally very caring and hospitable but have been burned by sil before. A couple of years ago she came to stay two weeks which drifted to a month. During this visit dh and I went away for a weekend. I came home before him and walked in at midday to find the kitchen strewn with mountains of dirty dishes from the night before. She was apologetic as she had forgotten I was coming home but didn't see it as a big deal. I felt really disrespected.
I am also coming home earlier than dh from Germany. I am dreading getting off a long haul flight and not knowing what I will walk into at home if they are staying. . I have said to DH that they can stay if they are clearly told to leave the day before I get home. DH says he can't tell them that because it 'is not hospitable'.