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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why would a middle aged man, MH issues, mid afternoon, smell of vomit.

13 replies

WorriedSid · 14/04/2023 19:24

Dropped in to see my mum, my middle aged brother is staying temporarily, he smelt of sick, vomit, quite strongly.
He's never had an eating disorder, didn't smell of booze but does binge drink. He's just changed his medication for depression and was much better a fortnight ago but was back today to ticking and being tired and very jumpy. Not willing to answer even small talk questions.
He was very defensive and my mum was leaving him to have some space until I arrived.
She wasn't happy to talk whilst she could be overheard but clearly something is not right.
Any ideas? Posting in AIBU for traffic and this is complicated in balancing my brother's privacy, my mum's maternal instinct and me as a third party safeguarding both/ keeping my nose out

OP posts:
Thehonestybox · 14/04/2023 19:29

Possibly new bullemia - could be as new as today), or else he's just sick and didn't want to talk about it.

Albiboba · 14/04/2023 19:31

Why can’t he just be unwell?

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 14/04/2023 19:32

D&V.

Lovestodrinkmilk · 14/04/2023 19:35

Change ìn medication.

Divorcedalongtime · 14/04/2023 19:35

Would you be able to smell alcohol? Many people drink and then make themselves sick to get rid of the bloating…
not sure I agree with bulimia, I had this for most of my younger life and when and what I threw up was never in my stomach long enough to be covered in the smelly stomach acids…

MandyMotherOfBrian · 14/04/2023 19:35

Reflux caused by binging alcohol maybe made him vomit? Or maybe just unwell but obviously you sound like you have reason to be concerned it’s something else.

JudgeRudy · 14/04/2023 19:38

My concern would be that he's ODd (taken pills) and your mums found out. Shrs then helped him throw up and has been emotionally blackmailed into promising 'not to tell'. She's agreed because she's desperate and frightened. She's out of her depth.

Some meds are high risk for over dosing, as in it doesn't take many to kill. If this was the case, he could still have stuff in his system.
Of course he could have an upset stomach, very common with alcoholism especially if he drinks cider. Or he could just be queasy and not well enough to deal with the mess and your mum has sponged him down as much as he'll let her. Lots of possibilities, most aren't good.
In your position I'd say something and risk family fallout....you could save a life.

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 14/04/2023 19:38

I don’t know what you expect from
this post honestly.

I would of just asked him, otherwise forget about it cause what’s the point!

WorriedSid · 14/04/2023 19:56

Sadly, my brother's mental health is too fragile for tough love. He has in the past been on suicide watch but I thought we were past that.
He does drink cider. My mum would hide 'shame' or 'embarrassment' moments. I have encouraged her to contact me when nit overheard.
The change in meds was always going to be tricky but he appeared to be doing really well a couple of weeks ago.

OP posts:
Bumble84 · 14/04/2023 20:02

I think you’ve deliberately left out details as not to be too outing (which is fair) there’s lots of reasons why your brother may be smelling of vomit. Could you call your mother at a later time and try to speak with her. Maybe see what support she has? Your brother may well have told her not to tell anyone (even you)

WorriedSid · 14/04/2023 21:39

Thanks everyone, piecing it together I think he's been binge drinking and that's it undermined his new medication
Didn't see it coming but not surprised.

OP posts:
IamSuperTired · 14/04/2023 21:42

He smelt of vomit because he'd been sick ...

Pixiedust1234 · 14/04/2023 21:47

My first thought was vodka as that doesn't smell. Not knowing how his new medication mixes with alcohol could have caused him to vomit.

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