To want to sit in the corner and rock gently?

[fugitall]

My parents said we could build a house in their garden, we moved into their house, got planning (took 2 1/2 yrs to achieve), now they won't sell us the land, won't let us build, and have told us it's tough. They'll give us the market value of the plot, but we can't buy a house for that amount, we could have built a lovely house for less than it will cost us to buy a tiny house.

Still live with them, but can avoid them on day to day basis. DH wants a showdown. I want to cry.

They're my parents. The are double hard bastards, always have been, so I don't want a confrontation, but DH is really cross.

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That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. IME, people mostly put up with situations because they are getting something out of it. In this case the OP was getting free accommodation for a family of 6, the opportunity to take her kids to work and not pay for childcare, and the prospect of building a 4 bed detached house in her parents garden. Obviously the last part of that has gone sour, but no one forced her and DH to sell up and go with this plan in the first place. Many people would choose NOT to mix housing/work/family in this way because there are too many things that could go wrong.

Sorry that last post was to dittany not you chequers

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OOh chequers - great minds think alike, I've done exactly the same thing and re-read the thread!
I agree - there are no 'vile' comments to the OP. In fact I was struck by the amount of positive and useful suggestions from people (including me - I'd forgotten the earlier advice I'd given, which was basically to get the hell out of the situation and establish their own lives, free from the weird parents!).
I also agree that if you post on this thread, you are asking the question 'Am I being unreasonable' and therefore you shouldnt be surprised if some people think you are!
If you want a shoulder to cry on, then be upfron about it, hit the wine bottle and have a good cry, but dont start a thread like this unless you;re prepared for people to (politely) give you their honest view

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Chequers - it is there, on page 7 i think, but you have to look hard through all the vitriol!!

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girls are definately more bitchy than boys

Just scanned thread- everyone entitled to their view but sometimes, some of you come accross as jealous and unsympathetic IMO.

of course! Because we don't agree with you!

ProfessorGrammaticus on Fri 15-Feb-08 14:07:25
Lucyellensmum - assuming you aren't married to your DP, yes you are being really naive in not knowing whether or not you own your house and you should check ASAP. You are either on BOTH the deeds and the mortgage, or NEITHER. Should you split up, your position will be radically different if you own the house jointly compared to if it is just in your DPs name. Fairness only comes into the law if you are married.

THanks for your concern, it is a valid point. It is a considered niavety really. We hope never to split up, but should that happen, it would be a lose lose situation, as neither of us could afford to keep the house.

I'm surprised your parents have been advised they will get more selling as a house with garden. I thought these days it was all about developers buying up house and garden, pulling the house down and shoving up several homes on the site.