To want to sit in the corner and rock gently?

[fugitall]

My parents said we could build a house in their garden, we moved into their house, got planning (took 2 1/2 yrs to achieve), now they won't sell us the land, won't let us build, and have told us it's tough. They'll give us the market value of the plot, but we can't buy a house for that amount, we could have built a lovely house for less than it will cost us to buy a tiny house.

Still live with them, but can avoid them on day to day basis. DH wants a showdown. I want to cry.

They're my parents. The are double hard bastards, always have been, so I don't want a confrontation, but DH is really cross.

Ooh, Zaz you are clever!

That promise means nothing. You cant work there for that money, not being on paye, not getting NI contributions even paid, etc. Not if you are meant to take a mortgage and find a house elsewhere.

Think you need some help working out your options, but I agree you need to get out.

You are a grown up. You decide where you work,not your parents. And 20% tax sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Why so little??

I'd post in my real name, but with mn you can never be sure if you'll be villified or hugged hun!

20% tax is standard on the first level threshold for low earners.

Alf, I haven't got an effing clue how much tax I'd pay, I've worked for £385 a month for 2 1/2 years as a sahm.

You tell me how much it'll be, then I can figure out what size mortgage I can afford after tax.

You can buy yourself a 12 k garage. So yes, you need to find work elsewhere at different rate of pay.

Do you need to stay in that area? Somewhere with lower property prices and more work would give you more options and some much needed (by the sounds of it) distance from parents.

Bit it's less than min wage and rent free (except for diy dh has done) so I can't complain, and I'm always here for school run. Kids can help or watch TV at the w/end or hols, so I always felt it was fair.

Garage sounds good.........

Don't want to move cause kids have settled. Haven't ruled out relocating because dh is always in London anyway, so as long as there's a station, it would be ok.

My sis is here, and a big help so would be sad to go.

Agree with girlfrommars. Get out, get away and get a job. It's the only way you'll be free of your parents.

OMG, they sound dreadful. I would be sorely tempted to let DH have his show down, as long as it doesn't scupper any chance you have of getting your £150. Sorry if I'm repeating what others have said, I've only read ops posts (and a few shitty ones from arsey beggars!). Can you get them to sign anything which would confirm that they will be giving you that money? IMO you should use anything you cant to try to get the land, they deserve it, don't hold back.
Good luck
You alwayds ghet people pissed off on here because they want to win the skint competition!!!

It does sound like they have been stringing you along, and I can understand your disappointment & frustration. However, they are offering to give you £150k which is a lot more than most people get towards their houses. What did they say when they told you?

Alf, if I leave job with parents, surely any money will be a distant dream?

Grey, I said "OH! won't you change your minds?" They said "no, this is our pension" I burst into tears and legged it. Very mature.

I will work on getting them to sign something regarding the £150k.

So you're going to carry on living a life that's making you unhappy, because you're scared if you stop working for your parents they wont give you 150K???
Wake up - there's a life out there. The worst case scenario is that you don't get anything from them, which I agree would piss me off in the circumstances, but what the hell? You and DH can both earn, move somewhere cheaper if you need to and be financially and emotionally independent

Alf, you are right.

Why, as a 37 year old woman do I give a shit what my bloody parents think?

Not so much give, as pay.

We all do. Or most of us. Probably more than we care to think. But for most of us, we move away, become independent and distance ourselves enough to make our own decisions. For whatever reason, you havent. (I'm not having a go; I dont know all the background).But it's not too late. You and DH need to get away and build your own life. You talked about wanting to be there for your kids, but for them to see you and DH living like this, being so dependent on your parents, and feeling so resentful,cannot be good for them. Children pick up on whats around them. For your own sake and theirs, you need to get out

So sorry you're in this situation
Maybe agree with DH that for say a week he won't confront them over it. then use the time to talk to CAB/solicitor about the best way to get back your 30k/be sure you get 150k.
Also, if you are in a touristy/second home heavy area, it might be worth checking there are any shared equity housing association schemes designed to help ensure local people aren't priced out of the property ladder.

Lie to kids so they don't know what is going on!

Yes, we need to get the fuck out!

Good idea girl, will look into that tomorrow.