Annoyed with hairdresser and my t bar highlights

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So- I had booked in to have highlights done. Had all the strand tests done etc. I am growing out henna and letting my greys come through on my dark brown hair. The un hennared but is nearly to my ears and my hair is just below shoulder length.
i specifically asked for thicker highlights rather than finely woven ones- I wanted still to see my own colour. I showed photos of what I wanted and said what I didn’t want.
she basically gave me finely woven highlights. It doesn’t look awful but it’s not what I asked for. I was really looking forward to getting it done and now I feel ‘meh’ about it.

Did you tell her you weren't happy?

I think she knew. I don’t know what to say. When it was done she got her phone up and started showing me photos of the kind of highlights I wanted and said ‘oh you like more of a balayage effect’. I bloody showed her what I wanted when we did the strand test and again just before she started on the bleach.

It sounds like it was going to be a challenge, if there is henna growing out and you don't want your greys and natural colour covered. If its just a T Bar, there's surely lots of the greys / henna/ natural colour still there?

I dunno, its done now anyway, hopefully you will get used to it!

You wanted chunky highlights?

Firstly for honest opinions we need to see pics of your hair before and after and what you wanted.

Also this is one of those situations where you have to speak up or you’re left feeling like you do. I know it’s hard. I’ve cried before now at the hairdressers!

Yeah pictures would help op

@NewLifter I just wanted thicker bits of bleach rather than finely woven. Lots of my friends have it that way and I think it looks great-
the actual lift is as expected because I have half a head of henna. As the toner wears off it might look a bit more dramatic and lighter.

Yes- I told her that.
she also said a weird thing.
I have lots and lots of very fine hair. Last time I was there she commented on how fine it was even though it is very thick. This is true.
Yesterday she said she couldn’t do chunks too big because my hair was course and it wouldn’t take as well on course hair- which I don’t have 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am crap at taking pictures- you can see where the henna starts hopefully.

I've had trouble getting hairdressers to do chunky highlights too.

I'm not sure what your AIBU but you wouldn't be unreasonable to talk to her about it and ask if she would remedy it. Was it expensive?

Do you have the picture you showed to her?

Cost me £90 and 4 hours in the chair. 😢

https://i1.wp.com/www.hadviser.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/10-medium-hair-with-caramel-highlights-CEg_p6-ju1x.jpg?resize=1080%2C1350&ssl=1
I showed her pictures like this one. This is the chunky look I asked for.

Oh! I see why you're disappointed

She’s not matched the colour to your hair colour?? Was never going to look good regardless of the size of the highlights

Part of the issue was always going to be that the lift on the henna is different to the lift on my uncoloured hair. I knew that and it had been explained. A few chunky bits would have looked better I think.

This doesn't look like T-bar highlights could achieve this. It wouldn't end up looking good unfortunately. Sounds like she should have done a proper consultation and advised you how that would need to be achieved. T bar is more to top up already highlighted hair, that looks more like a balyage.

I don’t get it. I showed her the photos and she said yes. Then went on to do something completely different.

This is where a proper consultation should have happened. She should have been honest that you were never going to achieve that look with T-bar highlights. T-bar is for people who get full heads and then just top up to cover their roots but you had such a block of growing out there's no way it could have covered that.

My hairdresser is a bit like that. She's mobile so will often turn up with whatever colours her previous client had and just use that on my hair, different bloody colour every time! I asked for a golden balyage and got a dark brown root drag once. I keep going to her because she does cut my hair beautifully and the colour never looks bad, just never the same or what I actually ask for.

The problem is you booked T bar highlights but that’s not what you wanted. You also asked for thicker highlights but that wasn’t what you wanted.
You actually wanted a balayage but you asked for t bar which is what is done when you have a full head of near solid colour highlights and it’s generally an in between treatment to brighten up the roots.
From you saying you also were trying to grow out the henna and blend your greys in with your natural hair that doesn’t scream balayage either. Balayage doesn’t start at the root so doesn’t blend in greys very well.

Is that photo of the henna before or after the highlights?

Is it possible your photo inspirations were all over the place in terms of technique too?

It’s frustrating when you don’t get the hair you want but this is also why it’s important you don’t throw around terms you don’t fully understand. At the end of the day you got for what you asked for, but what you asked for just wasn’t what you wanted so it’s not like all the fault lies with the hairdresser.

£90 for T highlights! Sounds expensive. The thick strand look would possibly be better achieved if you asked for Balayage.

I thought was the before pic, I’d go back and ask to have someone else more competent do them.

i have a friend at work who is a hairdresser and I she has the chunky streaks. When I showed my hairdresser the photos she said I could get them with a t bar. It was only after she finished that she said I had infact wanted a balayage. She should have told me that to start with. She saw the photos I showed her.
I have just met my daughter for a coffee and asked if she liked my hair. She said it looked the same and she couldn’t really tell I had had anything done!
I will phone them tomorrow and ask them to add something more obvious.

I didn’t throw around any terms though. I didn’t know any terms.
I showed her what I wanted from the photos and she said a T bar would do it🤷🏻‍♀️