Hi Op
Sorry to hear you have obviously been through some real shitty times,
I am sending good wishes that your health struggles will improve ect
I can really relate to how you feel cause I have experienced very similar stuff and it's head fxck really at times,
But I have also come across such unexpected kindness from strangers in regard of my health issues for e.g a few strangers concerned about me slipping on ice whilst walking as I walk with a stick, ect
Have you seen Carnival of soul 1960s film 🎥?
It's a cult genre classic black and white film,
One off film that film director made,
It's about a young female who is the only survivor of a freak accident that tragically killed her friends,
She survivors but very strange things start to happen to her, and around her,
She is stuck in a weird kind of limbo in a Parrell universe,
That doesn't make sense to her to people around her,
It's like she is a bye stander unwittingly in her life/
She acctracts /comes across some quirky characters ,
A couple of creepy ones,
Story line has defined connection to a run down creepy fairground that losed its acctractions draw, eons of years ago,
Interesting ideas 💡 film,
It's comes across as dream like/Surrealism aspects to it , aswell as all too realistic aspects too,
I don't know if you have ever watched Christopher Lee film Black and white films
Hammer Horror black and white films too?
Psychological films black and white colour makes it more creepy too
Very popular films genre at that time too