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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This sleeping arrangement is ridiculous right?

508 replies

Pondere · 28/12/2022 21:58

We arrived at my in laws today and are staying for a week. SIL also arrived today and is staying for two nights. We live much further away so we have two long visits a year and then two weekend visits. SIL visits and stays for a night every month.

We have a 21 month old, and he sleeps in a travel cot when we visit. SIL has a five year old.

PIL have 4 bedrooms. One bedroom is obviously theirs. Then there is a double room with a double bed and then two singles with single beds in them.

Usually, when SIL visits, her 5 year old sleeps in the double bed and she is in one of the single rooms. When we visit, the three of us are in double room, with DH and I in the double bed and DS next to us in his travel cot.

This is the first time we are all staying at the same time (with children). SIL is insisting that her child gets the double room as per usual, because that is what he is used to and he won’t be able to sleep anywhere else. I’ve said it makes sense for us to have the double room seeing as all 3 of us can sleep in there, there’s space for the travel cot and then SIL and her child can sleep in each of the single rooms.

She has refused to budge and PIL agree that her son should get the double room because that’s where he always sleeps and he won’t sleep well otherwise.

The conclusion - SIL’s child has a double room and bed to himself. SIL has a single room and bed to herself. I’m in the single bed with DS in his travel cot next to me, which has just about fit in, it’s a very tight squeeze so I have to climb on to the bed the second I enter the room. DH is on the sofa. He doesn’t like fuss so is fine with the arrangement.

I know IANBU, because it makes no sense whatsoever that DS and I are in a tiny room with DH on the sofa when a 5 year old has a big room to himself. But equally, when SIL and PIL and even DH think it’s fine, I can’t help but doubt myself.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 04/01/2023 08:18

4 bedrooms. One is PiL, double for nephew, that leaves 2, so why didn't husband sleep in the one with you instead of his sister?

After PIL and nephew's rooms, the others are small singles. OP said that it was enough of a squeeze to get their toddler's cot in with the single bed for her. Sister had the other single room to herself.

stephkrane · 04/01/2023 13:58

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Delatron · 04/01/2023 14:28

If you didn’t want to push it this visit (I would have not accepted their responses when questioned).

Then for the next visit before it’s all confirmed you ask about sleeping arrangements. If it’s the same nonsense you say ‘Ah what a shame there appears no room for us - we’ll have to stay in a hotel’.

1HappyTraveller · 04/01/2023 19:14

Delatron · 04/01/2023 14:28

If you didn’t want to push it this visit (I would have not accepted their responses when questioned).

Then for the next visit before it’s all confirmed you ask about sleeping arrangements. If it’s the same nonsense you say ‘Ah what a shame there appears no room for us - we’ll have to stay in a hotel’.

Or “ahhh we’ll come another time when there is space”

PIL are keen for everyone to be together. I doubt they’ll change the arrangement for a hotel stay. Just means OP travelling for a long period AND having to fork out for a hotel.

MichelleScarn · 04/01/2023 20:19

And op and family staying elsewhere will probably fit the 'd' s and parents better, if she is golden child as per pp!

InthekitchenAmz · 06/01/2023 02:42

I told my partner about this thread to ask what he would do if we went to his parents (who live a good 5.5 hours away so o py half of OPs journey ) he said he would go home.

Children do as they are told end of story!, the parents don't do what the children say...glad we were both brought up with this mentality.

Both myself and my partner in this situation would feel like out family unit don't matter and we're less welcome and less important so why bother being there.

I tell you what though.no matter what option to stay or go..I would be buying the nephew a new single children's duvet cover for his birthday for use at his grandparents in the single room, perhaps even a teepee to chill and sleep in. Make it an adventure so he doesn't want the double room. Eventually both children could camp out in a single room together (indoors without adults) when a bit older.

ToughTopicsMom · 07/01/2023 06:33

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Phatgurlslym · 14/02/2023 14:11

Wth!? YANBU. I can’t believe the selfishness. Poor you.

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