This sleeping arrangement is ridiculous right?

[Pondere]

We arrived at my in laws today and are staying for a week. SIL also arrived today and is staying for two nights. We live much further away so we have two long visits a year and then two weekend visits. SIL visits and stays for a night every month.

We have a 21 month old, and he sleeps in a travel cot when we visit. SIL has a five year old.

PIL have 4 bedrooms. One bedroom is obviously theirs. Then there is a double room with a double bed and then two singles with single beds in them.

Usually, when SIL visits, her 5 year old sleeps in the double bed and she is in one of the single rooms. When we visit, the three of us are in double room, with DH and I in the double bed and DS next to us in his travel cot.

This is the first time we are all staying at the same time (with children). SIL is insisting that her child gets the double room as per usual, because that is what he is used to and he won’t be able to sleep anywhere else. I’ve said it makes sense for us to have the double room seeing as all 3 of us can sleep in there, there’s space for the travel cot and then SIL and her child can sleep in each of the single rooms.

She has refused to budge and PIL agree that her son should get the double room because that’s where he always sleeps and he won’t sleep well otherwise.

The conclusion - SIL’s child has a double room and bed to himself. SIL has a single room and bed to herself. I’m in the single bed with DS in his travel cot next to me, which has just about fit in, it’s a very tight squeeze so I have to climb on to the bed the second I enter the room. DH is on the sofa. He doesn’t like fuss so is fine with the arrangement.

I know IANBU, because it makes no sense whatsoever that DS and I are in a tiny room with DH on the sofa when a 5 year old has a big room to himself. But equally, when SIL and PIL and even DH think it’s fine, I can’t help but doubt myself.

YADNBU

I’d have got back in the car and left tbh…

Go home

Just go

I agree with pp, go home. This isn’t about a bed, this is SIL ruling the roost.

i'd be in the nearest travelodge or on my way home.

That is completely insane and I would tell them to give you the double or you are leaving. A five year old can sleep perfectly well in a single bed.

Your dh needs to put his foot down, utterly preposterous. Perhaps convince the 5 year old the double room is haunted so he refuses to stay there?

Same!

I can't believe your DH just went along with the arrangement and thought this would be totally OK.

Just go home and sleep in a proper bed instead of putting up with such nonsense.

Ridiculous. Yanbu. I would hate to be staying with family when there is a 5 yo in charge.

This is ludicrous. If your SIL has to have everything arranged to suit her she needs to not time one of her regular visits when other family are staying.

When DD and I go to my parents we each have our own room. She considers the bedroom she sleeps into to be 'her bedroom'. When other family stay at the same time as us DD sleeps in with me. It would be ridiculous to do otherwise!

That is ridiculous and I honestly would also have just gone home.

A small child in the biggest bed is ridiculous.

Can’t she share the double with the 5 year if they are scared of being in a different room.

Then you and baby in one single and husband in the other.

At least sil should share with her son so your DH has a bedroom. Why is your DH being such a pushover?

Worst case SIL shares double with her DC you and your DH get a single room each.
Best case your SIL realises she is being a total dick.

That is ridiculous.
I’d consider a hotel for the nights she’s there tbh if you’re staying for the week

Yup, time to leave I’m afraid.
What kind of lunatic would think that was reasonable?

Your SIL and your PIL are absolutely crazy.

In your shoes, I’d have laughed incredulously, said, “OK, a joke’s a joke but can we settle into the double room now?” and then, assuming they stuck to their guns, would have left and headed home.

Sil should share with her son. This is just silly.

Urgh. You can imagine the charming little gent that 5 year old is going to turn into. Fucking ridiculous. Find a hotel nearby if you can afford it or just go home, absolutely not a chance I would be pandering to this fucking ridiculous charade.

Thank you everyone. I was genuinely wondering that because we don’t visit as often, perhaps they have a point.

We spent 11 hours travelling on the road today so are exhausted and won’t head home right away. There is generally a history of SIL’s feelings taking priority over mine and I’ve always turned a blind eye because I figured she’s their daughter, whereas I’m the DIL, but this feels like a piss take.

Ridiculous. Go home

Can you suck it up for 2 nights then put a new sheet on and move into the double for the next 4?
No, you shouldn't have to, but is it a hill to die on when usually it never affects you?

Why does the 5 year old usually get the double while SIL has a single? The problem started before this. But I agree, it's ridiculous and would be expecting DH to be more assertive.

Leave first thing tomorrow. I understand not getting straight out of there tonight if you’re tired from a long journey and LO needs to go to bed, but not a chance in hell I’d be putting up with that for a second night let alone a week.

Your poor DH has traveled 11hrs to sleep on a sofa, this is absurd.