Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This sleeping arrangement is ridiculous right?

508 replies

Pondere · 28/12/2022 21:58

We arrived at my in laws today and are staying for a week. SIL also arrived today and is staying for two nights. We live much further away so we have two long visits a year and then two weekend visits. SIL visits and stays for a night every month.

We have a 21 month old, and he sleeps in a travel cot when we visit. SIL has a five year old.

PIL have 4 bedrooms. One bedroom is obviously theirs. Then there is a double room with a double bed and then two singles with single beds in them.

Usually, when SIL visits, her 5 year old sleeps in the double bed and she is in one of the single rooms. When we visit, the three of us are in double room, with DH and I in the double bed and DS next to us in his travel cot.

This is the first time we are all staying at the same time (with children). SIL is insisting that her child gets the double room as per usual, because that is what he is used to and he won’t be able to sleep anywhere else. I’ve said it makes sense for us to have the double room seeing as all 3 of us can sleep in there, there’s space for the travel cot and then SIL and her child can sleep in each of the single rooms.

She has refused to budge and PIL agree that her son should get the double room because that’s where he always sleeps and he won’t sleep well otherwise.

The conclusion - SIL’s child has a double room and bed to himself. SIL has a single room and bed to herself. I’m in the single bed with DS in his travel cot next to me, which has just about fit in, it’s a very tight squeeze so I have to climb on to the bed the second I enter the room. DH is on the sofa. He doesn’t like fuss so is fine with the arrangement.

I know IANBU, because it makes no sense whatsoever that DS and I are in a tiny room with DH on the sofa when a 5 year old has a big room to himself. But equally, when SIL and PIL and even DH think it’s fine, I can’t help but doubt myself.

OP posts:
Millie2008 · 28/12/2022 22:48

I definitely agree with everyone saying this is ridiculous.

However... the only exception I can envisage is if the SIL's DS is autistic or something? My 5 year old DS is severely autistic and we probably come across as pretty insane sometimes to other families in terms of sleeping arrangements and things! But I assume if this were the case you'd be aware of it

Bunnycat101 · 28/12/2022 22:49

Absolute madness. The lot of them are ridiculous for suggesting someone who has just done an 11 hour journey to sleep on a sofa when there is a double available. They’ve lost sight of what is sensible here and clearly all just pander to your SIl.

Lexi868 · 28/12/2022 22:49

In all seriousness, most premier inns offer a reasonable rate and decent family rooms. I'd be booking ASAP if it were me

Rockmehardplace · 28/12/2022 22:49

Ridiculous. Why is your SIL even allowing this to happen? At the VERY least, she should be sharing the double bed with her son, if he is so adamant that he has to sleep in there, so you and DP at least get a bed each. But OfC you 3 should be in a double room.
i’d be heading to a hotel tomorrow.

Ruffpuff · 28/12/2022 22:49

Let’s not start with blaming the 5 year old. It’s the SIL who’s being awkward, I doubt the kid would even care.

Honestly, I would kick up a fuss.

Abouttimemum · 28/12/2022 22:50

We just stayed at my parents. They have 3 rooms. DSis slept in the double bed with her 6 year old DS. Our DS3 slept in the single bed and DH and I slept on an air bed in the living room. It was only for one night.

When DS stays there on his own he sleeps in the single still. He doesn’t need a double bed!

ivykaty44 · 28/12/2022 22:50

Fuck that

a child gets the double bed and the other guest the sofa

this is entitled bull shit

go home your certainly not being made welcome

Millytante · 28/12/2022 22:50

Jifmicroliquid · 28/12/2022 22:36

Good grief, go home!
SIL clearly just enjoys throwing her weight around. A 5 year old does not need a double room to himself! If she tires him out enough in the daytime and lets him stay up a bit later than normal, he’ll fall asleep anywhere she puts him.
Im afraid I would explain to parents in law that you will be going home and tell them the reason why.

Not for the first time I’m ruing the day we stopped dosing kids with laudanum. (Or half a pint of gripe water, in a pinch!)

Bs0u416d · 28/12/2022 22:50

Agree with pp, I'd leave. This is Insanity.

JustAnotherManicMomday · 28/12/2022 22:55

Personally double room goes to the 2 adults with child. If for some bizarre reason that doesn't happen sil should share with her child or she should be the one on the sofa. However failing any of those sil should go home as she's closest else would be leaving and pointing out a child does not require such a big room and could easily be moved once asleep to one of the single beds.

starfishmummy · 28/12/2022 22:55

CatherinedeBourgh · 28/12/2022 22:32

I'd just check into the nearest available hotel for the duration.

For me "the duration" would be just long enough for me to rest after the drive to be able to do it again. And then I'd be off home.

ThereIbledit · 28/12/2022 22:55

I'd be more careful than just going home as others have said because it will be seen as you the DIL instigating a rift. I would however insist that my DH got a proper fucking bed for some proper fucking nrest after and before driving all that way so we would get a hotel if nobody is seeing any sense.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 28/12/2022 22:56

Worst case if 5 year old can't be possibly sleep anywhere else (SEN?) than the double then SIL should be in there with him so you'd get a single for DH and a single for you. The whole lot of them are being ridiculous, I'd be fuming.

Benjispruce4 · 28/12/2022 22:57

At the very least this should’ve been mentioned before you agreed to go.

WilsonMilson · 28/12/2022 22:57

Absolutely batshit. I would make a big fuss about this and would go home if this decision stands. Your sis in law is a selfish cow.

Thingiemajig · 28/12/2022 22:59

Surely it’s time to retrain the 5 year old to sleep in a single bed? Utterly ridiculous. Consider a B&B for tomorrow night.

Forever42 · 28/12/2022 22:59

What will happen in a year or two when your DS is too big for a travel cot? Blow up bed next to you in the single room while older child sleeps in a double by himself?

Tinkerbyebye · 28/12/2022 23:00

I would be packing the car tomorrow and going home

i would be telling in laws you will not be visiting again at the same time as sil

MsGrumpytrousers · 28/12/2022 23:01

Katapolts · 28/12/2022 22:38

Literally no one in real life would have such a strop about a 5 year old getting the best bed, that they would turn straight around and leave after travelling 11 hours to see family Grin That is not real advice!

Seconded. I wouldn't go home or go to a hotel for the sake of one more night - not worth the cost, the unpleasantness or the upheaval. Just make it clear you won't ever do this again.

toocold54 · 28/12/2022 23:01

If she insists her son has the double but won’t share it with him, then she should take the sofa.

I agree!

1FootInTheRave · 28/12/2022 23:04

Selfish, entitled twat she is.

I'd be going home asap because this is absolutely ridiculous.

Your dh needs to man the fuck up too. What a wet wipe.

Stravaig · 28/12/2022 23:05

You have a spineless husband problem.

Given the distance makes it hard to turn around and leave immediately, I'd bluntly tell your in-laws that this is a nonsensical use of space, inhospitable in the extreme, and that you won't be visiting them again.

huuskymam · 28/12/2022 23:05

Thats ridiculous, I'd be leaving tomorrow.

blueflagflyhigh · 28/12/2022 23:05

That ridiculous. I'd be very pissed off to the point I'd be telling them we are going home! Ur PIL are being as ridiculous as ur SIL for agreeing to this!

I wonder is SIL the golden child in this family. Her precious child can't possibly sleep elsewhere 🙄

SouthOfFrance · 28/12/2022 23:07

Wait till 5 year old is asleep then go and swap them into the single room without SIL seeing 😉