Friend always wants to stay over ....

[closethedongdong]

We live around half hour away from each other.
Every time we plan anything she always wants to stay over.
Her boyfriend lives 10 mins away from me ..
Tomorrow night she planned to come to mine for drinks or go into town for a few.
Than rather than go back to boyfriends she wants to stay over then drive back to his next day.
Thing is I live in a 1 bed place with boyfriend and it's just not big enough:
When I was single it was fine but now it's her sleeping on sofa and we have 1 dog and a cat.

So I suggested staying at hers and going to the pub at hers.
She immediately shut that down
Tbh I hate staying at anyone's house
Or anyone at mine
Aibu ? To just enjoy a night out and go home alone?

I had a friend like this.

She was an unflushable.

Turned out she was after my bloke…

How old are you? I'd say beyond early 20s most prefer to get home to their own bed / have their own space.

Why won't she stay at her boyfriend's?

Why can't she stay at her boyfriends? It's ten minutes away. I would just say your place is to small for overnight guests.

I'm 36
He is looking after he kids too so I don't get why she can't just go back to his

This arrangement doesn’t work for me anymore - what’s better for you either to stay at your boyfriends house or we can rearrange for daytime catch ups.

She wants a night away from the kids and not be to be woken up at 5am.

Her kids are all nearly 12 and 14 so lie in longer than her these days

She immediately shut that down

You need to do exactly the same. Whatever reason she gives, you give the same.

Iwanttoslowdown · Today 12:38
This arrangement doesn’t work for me anymore - what’s better for you either to stay at your boyfriends house or we can rearrange for daytime catch ups.

This is what you need to say.

Half an hour is a taxi ride back to her house surely

I had a "friend" like this. Amongst other things like free childcare, she used being in my house as a way to spend on my credit card, as well as take photos of my passport and drivers license to steal money in other ways. Be careful.

She has no problem shutting your suggestion of staying at hers down, so you do the same.

“You staying at mine doesn’t work for me. You’ll have to stay at your boyfriends, or get a taxi home or drive”.

The end.

"No staying at mine doesn't work I'm afraid - can rearrange to a daytime thing another time?"

Just tell her you don't have the space any more and feel like you're getting too old to have people kipping on the sofa. And yes, half an hour away is £15 max in a taxi, surely.

Just shut it down exactly how she shut your suggestion to stay at hers down. How can she complain at that, you're mirroring her.

Where do you live? Genuine question, not goady. A 30 minute taxi is around £35-40 here in Bedfordshire.

@superdupernova I'm in Yorkshire and you can usually get anywhere within a 30 min drive in an Uber for £15.

This.

Yep...each go to their own home. Ask why you can't stay at hers as you have 2 people at yours and there is only her at home. Put her on the spot and say it's too one sided.