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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it unreasonable that this father wasn't jailed?

28 replies

Winterscomingagain · 13/11/2022 19:13

www.armaghi.com/news/newry-news/dad-who-dragged-teenage-daughter-by-hair-through-streets-told-police-i-can-assault-my-own-property/189574
This case is so upsetting and why would the judge have even considered the possibility of reconciliation.

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pointythings · 13/11/2022 19:15

That man belongs in jail and any other children he has need to be taken into care.

user1471442488 · 13/11/2022 19:16

What a bastard

Zanatdy · 13/11/2022 19:17

Disgusting, he should have been jailed. I hope his daughter never goes near him again

Kedece2410 · 13/11/2022 19:18

'Shes my property' Bastard should have been jailed for that alone. What an appaling comment

Meredusoleil · 13/11/2022 19:19

No excuse for his behaviour.

But what was the comment about blood on her legs and glassy eyes?!? Didn't understand what he was alluding to. Was she drugged up or something?

Onlyforcake · 13/11/2022 19:20

Utter cunt. Deserves a public flogging just like he obviouslyis fine with. That's the judge.

The Dad? Hopefully local community will give him what he deserves. I hope the daughter runs far from this piece of shit.

WinterLobelia · 13/11/2022 19:20

Sounds to me like h thought she had had sex and that he was the ultimate male arbiter of her virginity and honour.

he ought to be in jail.

HildaHedgehog · 13/11/2022 19:23

Anybody who thinks that another human being can be their "property" is, by definition, dangerous. They should not be allowed to have any responsibility for anyone vulnerable.

NosyNeighbour22 · 13/11/2022 19:42

If he had done something like that to a stranger he would have gone to jail so maybe the judge does believe he has some right to assault his daughter. Especially as he seems to believe the victim should forgive him! I find it hard to believe this man was a model parent before this episode either.

nocoolnamesleft · 13/11/2022 20:03

If he'd assaulted a stranger like that he'd surely be in jail, but because it was his daughter he isn't? What sort of disgusting creature calls a human being his property?

Winterscomingagain · 13/11/2022 20:04

Meredusoleil · 13/11/2022 19:19

No excuse for his behaviour.

But what was the comment about blood on her legs and glassy eyes?!? Didn't understand what he was alluding to. Was she drugged up or something?

I thought he was insinuating that she had sex but I'm really not sure

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Winterscomingagain · 13/11/2022 20:14

It seems so unfair that the judge turns the reconciliation responsibility to the child, asking her to find it in her heart to forgive etc. She's only a child who suffered such awful abuse.

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FluffyYucca · 13/11/2022 20:18

That sentencing is an absolute joke.

pointythings · 13/11/2022 20:20

Winterscomingagain · 13/11/2022 20:14

It seems so unfair that the judge turns the reconciliation responsibility to the child, asking her to find it in her heart to forgive etc. She's only a child who suffered such awful abuse.

This is NI we are talking about - DUP territory and home to the relics of the patriarchy. It's absolutely disgusting, this judge should never be allowed to sit again. Things are changing over there, but it's going to take time.

WhoGotYourBlazer · 13/11/2022 20:38

What's wrong with the judge??

I hope this girl will decide to never ever see her father again. He's obviously not safe for her to be around. What on earth was the judge smoking?

Winterscomingagain · 13/11/2022 20:38

pointythings · 13/11/2022 20:20

This is NI we are talking about - DUP territory and home to the relics of the patriarchy. It's absolutely disgusting, this judge should never be allowed to sit again. Things are changing over there, but it's going to take time.

Judging by the father's comments I doubt if he's a DUP supporter. This 'free man ' nonsense is really prevalent and I'm noticing some houses flying white flags to show their freedom.
At the very least the judge needs training although I agree that he should be stood down.

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DontSpeakLatinInFrontOfTheBooks · 13/11/2022 20:51

That made my blood run cold tbh. What the fuck is the judge thinking, hoping this monster can reconcile with this girl?! That thought process (she is my property) that violence and rage and arrogance can’t be magicked away- the likelihood of him changing his ways permanently are basically nil- this mindset doesn’t leave a person.

I hope the victim/survivor has been able to heal from this and that she has good, supportive people found her who make it totally clear to her that this should never have happened to her or anyone.

pointythings · 13/11/2022 21:01

@Winterscomingagain NI is still culturally - shall we say less than socially progressive? As I said, that's changing - but these extreme patriarchal attitudes in a minority of individuals don't surprise me. I'm also not all that surprised to see patriarchy/misogyny embedded in the judiciary.

Minimalme · 13/11/2022 21:28

Stupid, misogynistic judge.

I hope the girl can find it in her to never allow her Father near her again.

To find the self-worth that he tried to beat out of her and tell him that since he is an abusive bastard and she is a free woman, she will be getting on with living her life without him.

And this man is a good Father? My arse he is.

hattie43 · 14/11/2022 08:23

Appalling and I have to wonder what planet these judges are on when it comes to sentencing . Far too soft .

Naunet · 14/11/2022 09:22

The judge clearly agrees deep down, that women and girls are the property of a man.

Bootskates · 14/11/2022 09:31

I actually cannot believe what I have just read. Absolutely horrific. Yanbu, hope she never goes near him again and recognises that the judge is wrong in his comments. Restraining order unnecessary? Jesus.

TurquoiseBeach · 14/11/2022 09:40

Very upsetting case. That poor girl.

BigFishontheTelly · 14/11/2022 10:02

That's horrific. You don't go from being a good father to doing that to your daughter. He must be awful behind closed doors.

Winterscomingagain · 14/11/2022 11:31

pointythings · 13/11/2022 21:01

@Winterscomingagain NI is still culturally - shall we say less than socially progressive? As I said, that's changing - but these extreme patriarchal attitudes in a minority of individuals don't surprise me. I'm also not all that surprised to see patriarchy/misogyny embedded in the judiciary.

I do agree with you but this is just such an extreme example.When I do some quick google searches re free men/ sovereign citizens etc it's instantly apparent that a lot of these people have tried to justify this belief as meaning they don't need to pay rates etc. Councils seem to have prepared statements telling them that this isn't the case. Have the judiciary not been trained in this particular belief. It's the first time I've heard of it being used as justification for such awful violence.

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