to be miffed that DHs family is enforcing a dress code at the funeral?

[Spidermama]

DHs nan has died and the funeral is on Saturday.

I've probably lost any sympathy or support straight away with that sentence alone but anyway, here goes...

I now learn that it's expected DH will wear a black suit. He doesn't have a black suit and would probably never wear it again.

So not the charcoal grey suit in the wardrobe, or the brown one. No.

In reality it means that rather than us both using our preciuos time together as we'd planned getting the house in order (we've both been away so there's a laundry and general housework backlog on a large scale) and packing for all six of us (we're booked into a cottage for the whole weekend) he will be going off to spend time and money on a suit he'll never wear again.

I just feel it's a bit odd that there's pressure surrounding what to wear, given we're all adults.

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Have only read OP, but Asda sell cheap (very cheap) suits. Or charity shop. Would respect wishes for a funeral.

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Personally, I don't think it is a big deal, but the older generation can be quite particular about things like this and I would buy/ borrow a black suit if that was what was required

I would rather someone came to a funeral without bitching about all the time and effort they had to go to to find an appropriate outfit.

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mmj I'm not sure that's what's happening here. The OP doesn't want to waste "precious time" that could be spent doing laundry on finding an alternative.

I don't really object to the charcoal suit although I do think it's no biggie to do what's requested. I do object to the fact that this funeral is an inconvenience getting in the way of laundry.

Just hope the OP didn't mean it quite like that.

I don't think spidermamma is complaining about her life being interefered with I think she's pissed off because her adult dh isn't being trusted to choose what to wear to a funeral. At least (having been in a similar situation myself) that's how I'm reading it.

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Well, I just think you have to suck it up to be honest.

Funerals don't happen every day. We only get one each per life time. They ARE formal events. It's not about what you want to do. Your job is to attend, mourn and not upset anyone.

Spidermama, I notice from your other posts that you are really against school uniform.
Does this irritate you in the same way?

Have you asked dh what he wants to do? Perhaps he would be happy to go along with this.

She hasn't complained that someone's death has inconvenienced her. She has complained that going to buy a black suit has inconvenienced her.

Clearly there are 2 camps on this thread. Those that feel that only black is allowed at funerals, and those that feel that there is other dress that can be appropriate and respectful. Presumably spidermamma falls into the second category.

I think I am more bothered that the OPs DH owns a brown suit tbh!

I would say, if you DH is happy to wear charcoal then fine, but I am sure a black suit with get plenty of wear in time!...