to be miffed that DHs family is enforcing a dress code at the funeral?

[Spidermama]

DHs nan has died and the funeral is on Saturday.

I've probably lost any sympathy or support straight away with that sentence alone but anyway, here goes...

I now learn that it's expected DH will wear a black suit. He doesn't have a black suit and would probably never wear it again.

So not the charcoal grey suit in the wardrobe, or the brown one. No.

In reality it means that rather than us both using our preciuos time together as we'd planned getting the house in order (we've both been away so there's a laundry and general housework backlog on a large scale) and packing for all six of us (we're booked into a cottage for the whole weekend) he will be going off to spend time and money on a suit he'll never wear again.

I just feel it's a bit odd that there's pressure surrounding what to wear, given we're all adults.

Go to Asda and buy one if you have to - £25 the lot. Obviously not fancy but will do! Trousers £6 and jacket £19.

I (or should I say DH) would wear a charcoal one!

They should be lucky that you turn up!!!

OMG - a polyester black suit for £15 - now that's respect!

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Not everyone suits black doodle.

It's not about respect for the dead surely. It sounds as if the people organising it want a traditional funeral with people in black. There is a sort of solemnity about a crowd of black mourners that charcoal and brown doesn't deliver. This is the sort of nonsense that families fall out over. For 15 miselry pounds and some unfinished housework....

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It is my DH's Grans funeral tomorrow and he is wearing a charcoal suit and a black tie.

His brother did not have a suit so went to ASDA and got a cheap one for £15 in black (the only colour they do) and it is perfectly fine. He will keep it for any other furerals that may come up.

I am wearing a black suit, however, when my dad died I wore a navy one and I also have worn grey.

When my cousin died, we were all sepcifically asked not to wear black or another dark colour, as she was only 19

But spidey, it's not about whether he suits that colour or not, it's hardly a fashion parade! It's just a one-off, his gran's funeral. If you are going in black then I think it's a bit much to tell him to turn up in charcoal.

Out of respect for his gran, I'd nip to Asda and spend 10mins picking out a suit whilst you did a bit of shopping for your holiday.

Chequers - you would be dead, you would not know and anyway the funeral if for the people remaining no the deceased.

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What does it matter what you wear - surely the important thing is that you are there!

Yes wear a dark suit but not necessarily black if you don't have one.

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No NKF - looking good is not the point - but 'black at any cost' reduces it to fancy dress IMO. But then I have never worn black to a funeral. My family would not want the inadequacies of my wardrobe to be my top concern in a time of grief.

Oh, by all means let him wear whatever he wants. I'm sure he'll get more wear out of a spiderman suit than a regular black suit, so why not wear that?

Oh, and sorry for the inconvenience your dh's nan's death has caused you.

Unless specifically asked not to, I would always wear black to a funeral as a mark of respect.

Well, you can call it fancy dress if you like. Other people would call it a dress code.

Don't get me wrong - I'm a sloppy dresser most of the times but I know damn well that if I'm asked to wear black to a funeral, then black is the only right colour to wear.

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How does wearing black show respect ? Turning up for the funeral shows respect.

He's been asked to wear black. Probably because they'd knew he'd turn up in brown(!) otherwise.

there's an expectation that people will dress appropriately and sombrely.
I find it quite odd and rigid that a family would actually specify black as a dress code.

I think he should just get a black suit and comply with the wishes of the family. It really isnt that much of a hardship in the circumstances.

I doubt it'll be the one and only time he needs it.

It doesn't work like that, tissy.

And it's no big deal to buy a cheap, black suit.

There's an expectation that people will wear black. Obviously different cultures have different traditions. But it's quite clear that this family belongs in the "black for funerals" camp.

I would always wear black to a funeral, unfortuantely he is likely to attend a few funerals in his time, and will get the use. I would not let my dh turn up to a funeral in a black/cheap/shiny suit. It comes over as quite calous to worry about sorting the house out over buying a suit for nanas funeral