I am NOT unreasonable, I am quite REASONABLE in fact, but I am RANTNG!!! My blardy daughter.....

[Psychomum5]

......JUST CANNOT KEEP HER ROOM TIDY

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

she is 12, she has dancing, drama, stage classes, scouts (and camping like tonight), other lovely things........all I ask s that she keeps her room as tidy as possible, and that when she comes home from camp (like last october......), SHE EMPTIES HER BLOODY BAG!!!!!!

god I am so farking wound up at her, and she went to camp over 2hrs ago now!

she has camp (obviously), and I asked her 3 days ago to sort her room, and start sorting her clothes.

she tells me she did (and to be fair, I should have checked, but I have had a shitty week with DD3 and MIL being in hospital for heart probs culminating in an op yesterday), and I believed her till today.

tell her this morning that I need all her bits for camp so I can pack, and she tells (promises) me that she will do it as soon as she gets in from school. (she gets home at 3pm while I am on the school run for the others, meaning she has 1/2hr spare.....)

anyhoo.....I get home running late and yell for her and DD1 to make sure they are ready for dancing (they also had ballet and stage classes tonight!)......also ask her if the clothes were sorted.

"yes mummy, they are all on your bed, is it okay for you to check and pack for me?".."yes, thats fine" I reply, thinking that it should be fine....

anyway....drop all the girls and DD2's friend at ballet, and return home. only ONE outfir on the bed (she needs 3), and no bag or waterproofs.

of I head to find them, only to have to delve under her pit bed and then find......HER BAG FILLED WITH ALL THE CLOTHES MISSING SINCE LAST OCTOBER, and not only that, they were dirty as well!

(hasten to add tho, she went on camp, and then the day after she came home we had a really bad car accident so she does have a kind of escuse, but still.......3 months

I can only send you my sincere sympathies. I have just been into my eleven-year-old's room and...

I think they think we have maids to do all this laundry. Or the fairies come in.

Lol...my dd is 8 and like that now!! Tbh I try and not get too mad as I was exactly the same....till my mum came into my room one day and threw everything in the bin!! She made me fish it all out too.....I was so mad at the time(13) but in hindsight I can see that she was right.........kids eh??

Oh dear poor you. I think that the tidying the room fight will be one that continues until she leaves home. I know it did with me and my poor mum!

Even when I was 18 I still wound my mum and one night she told me I couldn't go out until my room was tidy, I asked if I was grounded and she said yes! We both laughed, I tidied my room then went out - so maybe next time don;t let her go to her activity until she has tidied her room.

I'm glad you feel calmer now though!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

what actually makes this kind of worse tho, is that she shares with DD3 who has an OCD type personaity and the room looks like it is taken over by jekyl and hyde....

poor poor DD3.....this makes her worse I swear

well.....I have threatened so mnay times that I would stop them dancing, and never have as yet.

still.....maybe the draggging her by her hairtaking her out like I did hit a nerve.

we'll see I guess at the next camp (or maybe if she comes home from this one and empties her bag straight off)

Maybe she has too many classes & groups to go to & doesn't have time to sort it all out?

This may help

I bloody knew someone would point that out.

yeah, I woder that too.....but then, they want to and it keeps them out of the house so really......she shouldn;t have the time to MESS IT UP now should she!

i know you wont like this.... and i can understand why you were really wound up tonight.... BUT i think at 12 whilst you can have these expectations of her (sorting stuff out / unpacking after camp etc) i don't think you can really expect to have no suervisory / overseeing role.... as you have discovered....
ps well done with the not yelling

SUPERVISORY

the "do it"
"have you dont it?"
"do it"
"is it done?"
"bloody do it then!"
"is it done now?>"
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

pissed me off to
many sympathis

argh......tis all my fault now......

nahhh.......this is why I am so wound up really, cos to be fair I should have checked before now. BUT like I say, bad car accident last october straight after she came back from that camp, and shit week this week (plus my birthday which altho fabulous on that day, was depressinf before), so really, I blame DH instead!

thankyou custardo.....sympathies MUCH needed

ooh, and ivykaty......looks like a book I need so thanks for the link

I think she shoulds drop soemthign she sounds too busy, where is her chill out time?

She's got school, classes, friends, tidying, family time etc etc seems a lot!

I like to think I'd've packed her off to camp with either the one outfit she had ready, or a selection of scuzzy unwashedness from under the bed!

I reckon 12's plenty old enough to sort your own packing.

Sympathy from this corner too. Lots of activities is no excuse-dd1 does hardly anything and still never manages to tidy up. . Dh & I were so fed up,that this week,we emptied her room of anything that was on the floor. There are now 3 linen bins of washing waiting to be done . I told her she was lucky that her stuff wasn't in bin bags and lobbed out the window (as my mum did to my sister once ).

Sounds like we should send all these 12 year olds off together. Kill or cure .

I have tried to drop, I really have, but she insists she can cope (and all the others do the same and cope!).

to be fair to her tho, she is severely dyslexic too, and apparently dyslexics can just not 'see' mess so she does use that excuse a lot, and drama and dance and scouts actually all help massively with the dyslexia too, so I am rather loath to force the giving up issue.

she does have mondays, wednesdays and sundays free tho, so in all honesty she does have chill time, tis just been a stressfull week and I am probably PMT'ish too (well, if not, tis a good excuse), I am just beyond angry about the 'promise' that she had done it when she hadn't!

ooh.....good plan slownorris......kill or cure......wonderful.

I forgot you too had a 12yr old!!!

arghhhhhhhhhh.....tis the years to come now isn;t it, all this fighting over the bedroom.

I remember it well from my teens

raven.....the mums at ballet suggested the same......I am too nice for that tho!!!

Well I am refusing to do the washing-I have told her that when the backlog is cleared I will do it BUT only if her room is kept tidy . To be fair her room is tiny but then that's all the more reason to keep it clean. I admit that I'm not the neatest person in the world but even I have standards .

Maybe she has "selective" hearing?! I've lost count of the number of times I've told her something only to have to repeat it or she denies I ever told her .

well mr psycho has selective hearing and all the minipsycho's have inherited it I swear!!!!!!!!!

I feel sometimes that I am stuck on loud and louder, as that is the only volume they seem to hear me at

My 16 and 16 year old still have very untidy rooms!