AIBU him or me on supervision of puppy

[Suspiciousminds29]

Hi all, just wondering if I am being unreasonable or is DP? I have told him countless times that I do not like him letting our nearly 3 month old puppy out with the other dogs on her own. I always worry she will squeeze down a very small gap as she is tiny. This concern was justified when ky neighbour told me that one day she squeezed through the gap in the gate luckily she grabbed her and handed her back to my partner who was outside but not watching her.

he regularly lets her out without his shoes on or something so he has to spend a few minutes putting those on before heading outside.

Que to this morning when I woke up and I heard our dogs outside so I looked out the window and saw the 3 dogs running around and no DP and I heard him downstairs.

I proceeded to shout downstairs to him that he was doing the one thing I have asked numerous times not to do and that the puppy was outside on her own. He responded that she’d had an accident and he was cleaning it up but he is keeping an eye on her. I said how could he possibly be keeping an eye on her when he is inside. He said well you get up on with them on a morning which yesterday I was up from 5AM sleeping on the sofa with them so it’s not like I don’t get up with them.

He is now not talking to me. I tried to explain yet again my concern with it and that it wasn’t the first time I had said this and he just blanked me, turned his back around then walked off. I’ve now said to him that my feelings were justified and that if he wants to ignore me that’s fine because I know I could ignore him a hell of a lot longer so it’ll just go on all day.

just wondering if I am being unreasonable or is he?

The easiest thing to do it block off th gaps in the garden. We've had to do this for our small puppy as he likes to run around the garden and play with our older dog. Was a nightmare having to stand outside all the time when I had stuff to be getting on with and two dc who keep leaving the back door open.

Is your relationship generally bad? It sounds pretty unhealthy to start ignoring each other, when it sounds like the issue is him not listening.

Does he not like being told/asked to do something? It's pretty obvious a very young puppy does need supervision outside if there are escape routes! Can you block the gap?

Definitely puppy proof the garden. You shouldn’t have to watch it all the time, although you do need to watch for wee/poo so you can praise for house training.

Surely just block the gaps?

We have a 10 week old springer puppy and have had to go right round the garden blocking gaps with random bits of wood.

It looks a right mess but it's safe - and it's not forever because there's no way she'll get through as an adult so we don't mind it temporarily.

I agree with the above poster, could you put a strip of wood at the bottom of the gate to stop the puppy getting out.

If a person has dogs their garden should be secure so that the dogs can't escape.

was probably ok for a short time while he cleaned up the mess. Think you picked the wrong time to shout at him…

Surely you puppy proof your garden before you get one?

The only gap in fairness is the hinge on the gate which our over 2 dogs from being puppies have never been able to fit through so it’s just our youngest who is a smaller puppy for her age. The garden is generally safe everywhere else.. I’ve been in the garden before and she’s got stuck behind a water butt etc. so it’s just supervision is probably wiser when she is so small.

my issue is that every time he is letting them out, I end up asking where she is because he hasn’t kept a dutiful eye on her.

They are like children so it bugs me that when he is outside with them he is on his phone or just not watching them.

YABU. He’s not a child, it’s not okay to shout at him and tell him off.

If there’s a problem with the garden, fix it. Don’t treat your partner like shit. You need to apologise.

Nope they’re like dogs!
i can’t believe you’re up at 5am with them.
just cover the gaps in the gate with some netting. That’s what we did when we had a puppy.

Do you usually compete over who can ignore each other for longest? Sounds like neither of you communicate properly

Take some of the snark here with a pinch of salt as MN seems to be fairly anti-dog. I'd be frustrated and unable to trust him to keep the puppy safe. It sounds like he resents being told what to do. Does he behave this eat about other things or is he generally difficult?

i get where you are coming from. DH is far less paranoid than I am when it comes to the dogs safety and will, for example, on a walk not have her on a lead on roads that have infrequent cars on them…I do, because when they do come they can be fast. We’ve reached a sort of unspoken compromise. If we are both there my rules apply. If he’s in charge on his own, his rules apply.

he has to have autonomy too.

we puppy proofed the garden too.

Just block the gap

They are like children so it bugs me that when he is outside with them he is on his phone or just not watching them.

This is how he'd be with kids too no doubt, so don't have them. And maybe two dogs was enough. If he's not invested enough to look after the puppy, shouting at him etc won't make any difference. This is how he is.

There are 2 separate issue here.

1. Puppy proof the garden.
2. Your relationship sounds shit.

Puppy proof the garden, problem solved.

Why are you up at 5am with them?

Just secure the gate. We had to do it, made life a lot easier. Other wise it's going to cause arguments. Having a puppy is stressful anyway, let alone worrying about the gate.

We do have children and he is absolutely wonderful with them and I have no concerns. The gate itself is secure, it is just the hinge where the gate opens which is slightly wider so I guess we could put some chicken wire on the fence and the gate so if we did open it we would have to open it inwards rather than outwards but it would block the gap.

Our relationship is actually very good and we make a strong team, it doesn’t help that I have recently left my job to concentrate on showing the dogs and training them so our youngest is in theory not just a pet but an asset so I can’t really afford to lose her

I was up at 5AM because our youngest puppy woke up and wanted to be around the older dogs which I only allow when supervised in case she is hurt.. I was awake as couldn’t sleep anyway so I went to sit downstairs with them and kept an eye on puppy whilst she was awake and active

He is an adult, leave him alone.

A competitive ignoring competition doesn't sound healthy in a relationship.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00KGDSZDU/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This is great- you can fit it with a staple gun and cable ties
Even the most cunning spaniel cant get out
My dog really benefitted from time alone exploring in the garden when puppies

This is just typical of all the posts I've seen of men being reckless about safety. and it's usually about children. Getting mad that you point it out etc. I'd run for the hills on that one if I had my time over. Just not worth the hassle. Always better safe than sorry

Just block the gaps! Puppy doesn’t need watching surely? (Though they are adorable to watch)