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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you have a circle of trust ...

45 replies

savethebeesandthecees · 14/09/2022 17:56

And if so, who is in it.

Mine would be my DH, DD, and my best friend of 30 years.

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 14/09/2022 17:58

Can you define what you mean by circle of trust? I mean I can guess but my definition might be different from your one.

Bottomofthepileasusual · 14/09/2022 18:01

I only have me in mine
People have destroyed my trust

ChagSameachDoreen · 14/09/2022 18:03

DH, MIL, and best friend.

GreenLeavesRustling · 14/09/2022 18:03

DH, DS1, DS2, DS3, DBrothers, DMum, DSisters in law, Best Friend, I am very lucky

BigFatLiar · 14/09/2022 18:03

Me: husband, daughters, brother (we've always been close)

MadeWithCare · 14/09/2022 18:06

Isn't it different depending on what the issue is? There are people I'd talk to about emotional things who I wouldn't want to get mixed up with financially and vice versa and lots of people I'd trust to be there when I need them who I wouldn't tell ant big secrets to

dudsville · 14/09/2022 18:07

My life is an open book. I don't go around talking about it, but i don't have secrets. So i don't require a circle of trust, but there are those i think are trustworthy and those i think are not.

ParkheadParadise · 14/09/2022 18:10

My DH
3 sisters, 2 brothers
My best friend from school.

BudgetBlast · 14/09/2022 18:15

My DH and I are our circle of trust. I have other really good friends who tend to use me for emotionally venting but are not the best listeners themselves. They have other good qualities that I benefit from in the friendship.

The being the vented to person but that not being reciprocated in friendships has been a common theme for my friendships over the years and I have never really fully figured out why.

🤔🤔

savethebeesandthecees · 14/09/2022 18:45

Bottomofthepileasusual · 14/09/2022 18:01

I only have me in mine
People have destroyed my trust

I'm so sorry that is the case.

Hope it changes.

Maybe a pet would help? Good way to rebuild trust.

OP posts:
BruisedSkies · 14/09/2022 18:46

What do you mean?

Sunnyqueen · 14/09/2022 18:51

I have quite a few people who would expect me to include them in this but in reality... I don't trust anyone but myself.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/09/2022 18:54

People I trust not to blab or judge me: husband, mum, sister, two very close friends. There are other people I talk to but those are my absolute people. I hope they feel the same, I think they do.

autienotnaughty · 14/09/2022 18:54

Dh dd dd

debbrianna · 14/09/2022 18:56

Sunnyqueen · 14/09/2022 18:51

I have quite a few people who would expect me to include them in this but in reality... I don't trust anyone but myself.

I agree with this.

rollercoastertobaby · 14/09/2022 18:58

My DH, my mum, my Dad and DD. That’s it.

CeeJay81 · 14/09/2022 19:00

Me, hubby, our 2 children obviously and my brother. He is the only one I feel that we can totally rely on outside of our household of us. I have one friend that comes close.

savethebeesandthecees · 14/09/2022 19:02

I suppose we are pack animals at heart. A small band to keep us safe.

OP posts:
SaintVal · 14/09/2022 19:08

My Dad and my best friend. My sister tells her husband everything so I can't be sure a secret stays just with her.

If I tell DS7 something, I may as well take out a centre-page ad in the local newspaper 😂 bless him!

savethebeesandthecees · 14/09/2022 22:43

That's interesting about your sister. I just assume people tell their other half everything so judge what I say based on that.

It's a rare person can keep a secret.

OP posts:
Testina · 14/09/2022 22:49

“Maybe a pet would help? Good way to rebuild trust.”

How does that work? An entire MH different species? If humans have let you down, why would a dog change your feeling on that? Obviously needs to be a dog, cos cats are not interested in being holders of other people’s trust 🤣

Testina · 14/09/2022 22:52

savethebeesandthecees · 14/09/2022 22:43

That's interesting about your sister. I just assume people tell their other half everything so judge what I say based on that.

It's a rare person can keep a secret.

How many secrets do you have?!
I’m with @dudsville

I have plenty of people I can talk to, about all manner of things. I’ve rarely had to keep a secret, when I have I’ve plenty of friends and family that don’t blab things. I wouldn’t give them a grandiose title of circle of trust though. I’d say the vast majority of my friends would respect a confidence.

goldfinchonthelawn · 14/09/2022 22:57

People I trust but not necessarily all with the same things:
DH
DBro
DSis
A handful of good friends and colleagues - about six in total

Makes me realise I'm lucky to have so many people in my life. I didn't always have, not for years.

OldAndTubby · 14/09/2022 22:58

Myself and my DH and sometimes DCs (they r young, so depends on context for them)

Fairyliz · 14/09/2022 22:58

I trust myself and that’s it.
Never let myself down yet.