Child maintenance

[ballsnbats]

Hi all NC for this ..

I need to ask your thoughts.. my children were conceived using a sperm donor as my ex husband was infertile, therefore due to this being under the hfea and a licensed clinic he is on the birth certificates and is the legal parent. Fast forward, we divorced 5 years ago I have one dependent child. He stopped the mutual child maintenance payments when our oldest turned 17. I never challenged him as it was a nasty relationship toward the end and to be honest I wasn't strong enough.. so for two years he has made no contribution at all , and no gifts at Xmas or Bdays , posts a card. He wasn't nice to them when they went out one day with him and both said they didn't want to see him again. I have NEVER bad mouthed him nor have I forced contact , he has not tried to gain any access either. It's left open if they want to see him it's fine and if not I have not pushed it. Rightly or wrong on my part.

So obviously with things changing with the costs of things I was thinking of applying for cm, our youngest has another 3 years in education. I work FT my oldest contributes but as with everyone it's going to get tougher.

Do I just forget about it or should I go for it.. I have this thing in my head they are not biologically his but legally they are..

Thoughts please

Claim it for any eligible child

Be interested to know if having used a proper clinic makes a difference.

Can he have his name removed from the birth certificate if he shows he's not the biological father?

Claim.

Go for it.

I don’t think that the fact they are not his biological children comes into it, tbh. But if you and your children are happy with NC is it something that you really want to initiate again? I know that living costs are rising, and it’s worrying, but it’s really up to you. How would you and your children handle it, if he showed up on your doorstep wanting to get involved again? Would you be ok with that?

He 100% is eligible for CMS, he has full parental responsibility as you used a clinic and his name is on the birth certificate. I have been through fertility treatment and went through the ins and outs of this. He cannot apply to have his name removed due to the legal requirements when starting fertility treatment.

Apply for CMS and don’t delay as there are usually deists!

If he wanted contact be sure he would be demanding it as is his right.
Rights come with responsibilities, and his responsibility is to pay child support for the child he is a legal parent of.
Not choosing to avail himself of his right, does not diminish his responsibility.

That's good to know. Having gone down the official route the children deserve the same protection as any other.

Yes, apply for CM. That he used someone else’s sperm to create his children doesn’t make them any less his responsibility.

Thank you all , someone mentioned how I or the children would feel about him wanting a relationship with them , I'd be fine about it as long as he treats them right and not screams & shouts at them like before , both are at an age to decide. I was more concerned he would say about a dna test but then I guess I'd show cm the paperwork.. I'm going to apply , thank you all