My friend is behaving hypocritically

[Littlegutterfroglet]

I’m really torn on this one.

Someone I have known for 20+ years and been at times very close with, isn’t behaving very nicely. We met at work a long time ago and have been there for each other since then.

they have cheated on their partner a couple of times (with the same person). They won’t tell partner as this would then cause a break-up. They still see the other party socially but are not cheating any more :(

they are also very involved in environmental causes, but it is very much for show, in private they actively do not follow this way of life. They are comfortable telling me this but can be judgmental in front of other friends who don’t behave in a very environmental way - even though I know they don’t do this themselves!

im not sure I can keep watching this, it’s making me feel a bit like watching someone live a double life.

Not great OP

You feel like you are watching someone lead a double life because you are! If that is not ok with you, you don't need a big falling out. You can slowly retreat.

It doesn’t sound like your values align anymore OP and it seems to be impacting your friendship - I would distance myself if I were you. People and friendships change and just because you’ve been friends for a long time doesn’t mean you have to stay friends. You could be honest and say you’re finding it difficult and see what they say, but you need to go in to that conversation accepting you may no longer be friends afterwards.

You pretty much summed up how all wokesters function. A fake, self applauding public face and a private nasty side.