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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is BU? (smoking with windows open)

9 replies

MotherOfBleach · 14/08/2022 19:20

For background my neighbour has a history of complaining. These complaints include but are not limited to;

"The dog goes woof woof" - he does indeed. He is, afterall, a dog. I would be concerned if he went "moo moo".
The dog barks late at night into the early hours of the morning - disproven via noise/motion activated webcam recordings sent to LL taken over the course of a month.
The dog barks constantly from 8am until 6pm - refuted via email by my employers for whom I work from home taking live, recorded phone calls. LL ultimately sided with me.
We have fruit bushes in the front garden and she does not like them.
DD has friends in her bedroom during lockdown (her boyfriend who stayed with us for the duration of lockdown)

The latest is not so easy to disprove and not as batty as assuming she has a right to the dictate what we grow in our garden or who stays in DD's bedroom, so I shall leave it MN to decide who is unreasonable.

DD smokes in her bedroom with her window open. DD's window is approx 20m away from NN (nutty neighbour) window. The smoke comes into her window at night and wakes NN up.

Background info - NN smokes herself. We know this because she smokes in our front garden while, according to DD, "glaring" at DD smoking in her room next to her window.

DD only smokes occassionally when she is drinking. The rest of the time she vapes.

On at least one of the nights NN has complained about the smoke I know for a fact DD only had her vape pen.

DD has a large-ish room with a chair/table set by her window. She doesn't smoke in bed or anywhere she could easily cause a fire.

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 14/08/2022 19:30

I think cigarette smoke getting into neighbours’ homes is pretty anti-social. But it’s also not something people are legally entitled to insist doesn’t happen at all. However, if you’re in a rental you also want to stay on the landlord’s good side, so it’s tricky.

There’s also the issue of your clear belief that your neighbour is just making shit up because she likes complaining. Given what else she’s done, I would assume this to be more the issue than it actually being smoke disturbing her and I’d try to turn this around and start talking to the landlord about her harassment of you and asking them what they can do to protect you from her.

MotherOfBleach · 14/08/2022 19:43

I generally just ignore her now and the LL has agreed not to contact me about complaints unless they are a) valid and b) she has proof.

I'm 99% certain this is just more made up shit from her as surely smoke would dissipate into the air before it reached her window 20m away? However, I am not sure. I've never measured the distance smoke can travel on an average night.

She drinks in her garden on weekends, I'm guessing she smokes while drinking but I've never stuck my head out of the window to confirm. Her seating area in her garden is significantly closer to my window than DD's is to hers and I can't smell her smoking. I can smell her fire pit.

If it is possible DD is disturbing her I will ask DD to come downstairs if she wants to smoke on an evening. It's normally only when she has friends over and I'm still up that would drink/smoke in her room.

OP posts:
ny20005 · 14/08/2022 19:49

My neighbour smokes out his bedroom windows (& talks full volume on his phone 🙄)

Our bedroom window is directly beside it & we have the smoke / smell coming into our room.

Not sure she has a leg to stand on when she smokes herself though

xoJellyBean · 14/08/2022 19:52

Our neighbours smoke (nicotine and weed) enters our house and tbh it's rather disgusting - I'm dead against smoking so I suppose that makes it worse for me.

Since she smokes herself, I guess she's BU.

WhyNott · 14/08/2022 19:54

I know this is beside the point but I'm very suprised that LL is ok with smoking in the house.

Fe345fleur · 14/08/2022 20:01

I reckon it's possible that it does go into her house, as smoke can travel pretty far. I'm an ex smoker and can smell it a mile off. But I can't see why she has an issue if she smokes herself. That's just weird. Even if she doesn't smoke in the house, all her clothes etc will smell of it when she's indoors. She sounds a bit unhinged.

girlmom21 · 14/08/2022 20:02

The smell of smoking travels a surprising distance. She wouldn't be claiming it if she didn't knew your DD smoked in the house so it must be affecting her to some extent.

MotherOfBleach · 14/08/2022 20:05

She knows DD smokes in the house because she has seen her. As I said, she smokes in our front garden, and can see directly into DD's room when DD has her window open. Whether or not she glares at DD IDK. I always close the curtains when she comes into the front garden because that does make the dog go woof woof.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 14/08/2022 20:05

If your daughter is smoking anywhere her smoke can reach other people, your daughter is wrong.

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