Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

People asked “Why can’t you fly”. I checked the feasibility of being able to fly (even though I knew it likely wasn’t feasible). That’s my answer.

You have my sympathies OP. There are some posters on here who I've noticed on a few threads recently just being downright unpleasant to the OPs of those threads. It must be the heat!!

I used to live in the Highlands and totally get what you mean. I also have very limited child care and a DD who would be very unhappy staying with anyone. (And before I get jumped on for my crappy parenting she does have SN!!)

But then my siblings would never dream of not inviting their nieces and nephews to a family wedding.

@Nahimjustaworm

you can’t imagine anything worse then a child free wedding 🤣

you need a better imagination

child free weddings are fab-u-lous 🥂💃

Child free second marriage in the distant Scottish highlands? No, you don't get to get pissed off when people can't make it for good childminding reasons.

I must say, when I had to turn up dutifully to hear SIL make the same vows for the second and third times, my enthusiasm and interest diminished quite substantially each time.

Bloody hell. This is still going on.

Ok just rtft

You have a "reason" excuse for everything

Botton line- sounds like you simply do not want to go.

Your perogative, but you can't then be surprised your brother is upset . 2nd wedding or not it's an important occasion

Have you considered hiring a jet-ski to zip round the coast OP? Only a few hours journey, probably.

You probably won't even answer me, because you clearly hate your brother, and wish he was DEAD.

Well? Have you? Huh?!?!?!?

People asked “Why can’t you fly”. I checked the feasibility of being able to fly (even though I knew it likely wasn’t feasible). That’s my answer.

But it wasn't 'likely' not feasible it was never feasible if it is not possible to get from Inverness to the village/venue?'

Or her brother doesn't really want her to go - he is as capable of suggesting options as she is.

He could perhaps have offered to put up her family in his house so she would only be 1.5 hours from the wedding venue, or agreed that his niece and nephew could attend, or that his other brother could attend with Op.

He hasn't exactly strained himself to make this work.

Add the kids onto your hotel reservation. You attend the event. Dh does something local with the kids.

If she hadn't checked, twenty posters would have said "I see you haven't answered the question about flying up or bothered checking flights"

Look you've spent hours on here answering people's posts and giving umpteen reasons why you can't go...so don't go. If he lives that far away he's not going to be popping round any time soon to have it out with you 🙄

I was wondering if someone would suggest this again just before the thread filled up. 😁

I know, why don't you get you BIL to take a lat flow test, tippex over his positive result then voila! He's covid free and can look after your children.

I filtered on OPs responses and haven't seen one that considers this or gives a reason why it won't work.

face palm

The hotel can't accommodate the kids. Read the thread.

Oh that has been suggested but its a NO 😃OP "Can't" Wont go to the wedding alone .

People asked “Why can’t you fly”. I checked the feasibility of being able to fly (even though I knew it likely wasn’t feasible). That’s my answer.

I find weddings dull at the best of times tbh. Being confined to a single building with people you either see ATT without needing to be fuddy duddy about it or with people you don't see much of probably for a good reason. Kids make it more lighthearted and fun. That's just my opinion.

Drink!

And the hotel doesn't have room.

OP explained in one post that it had been checked and no family rooms were available. Not possible for kids to be in the room they already have either. I think there followed some bizarre suggestions such as camping or putting the kids on the floor on inflatable mattresses, which may not even be allowed in that hotel.

OP - I think given the short timescale you've considered all possible options but none are feasible to your situation.

Some posters endlessly berating and trying to pick holes are making themselves look like utter twats

Bur I love this thread because of the glorious "You can't come near to my math skills" which I like to imagine a la Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men

If she hadn't checked, twenty posters would have said "I see you haven't answered the question about flying up or bothered checking flights"

Then surely she could have given the same answer - the plane goes to Inverness so I can't make the onward journey the same as with the train. The effort to Google the flights she knew she couldn't take regardless of the cost of them or over seas connections just seemed odd. I simply asked why she did that and have not received an answer

Bloody hell, there are some nasty comments on this thread. I think the OP has explained very well and has given valid REASONS as to why she can't go. I for one wouldn't be dumping my kids on strangers nor would I be traipsing them across the country to go to a playpark.

OP, you have tried but ultimately this is your DB and STBSIL's decision, that's what potentially happens when you don't invite kids to your wedding. Enjoy the weekend at home, go do something lovely with your family. Maybe in the future you can all go visit your family in Scotland and take them out for a lovely meal as a belated celebration.

Btw, mini magnums are brilliant in this weather!!