Childcare fallen through so can’t make DB’s child free wedding

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

My brother lives 350 miles away and is getting married tomorrow. Children aren’t invited - it’s been a nightmare trying to organise childcare for 3 full days (have to stay at least 2 nights because of distance) for my 2 kids in the summer holidays but we roped in BIL and SIL who thankfully had the days free and veryl kindly agreed to have them.

BIL found out yesterday that he has COVID! So we not can’t send them. He’s quite unwell with it as well apparently.

I told my brother today that we can’t come as we just cannot find anyone else at short notice to look after the kids for 2 nights. It’s a big ask of anyone!

He’s really pissed off with me and has asked if I can send them anyway as isolation rules etc are essentially redundant now. I’ve said no I’m it asking them to do that. Especially because we go on holiday next week and don’t want the kids taking COVID to Turkey with them. Was IBU to say no? I think if you ask people to make a 700 mile round trip for their wedding without their kids being invited you risk things falling through and this happening

I can’t be arsed to read the thread but couldn’t get past the people thinking 350 miles isn’t far.
we go on holiday to the highlands regularly. It’s 350 miles. And would take 10 hours on a good day with no stops.

They Op said “they are not able to cope” if apart from their sibling!! Her exact words

Has got his *childfree wedding ...

Your own DH can't mind his own dcs while you're at a wedding? I hope you don't have any serious challenges in life - I'd absolutely do this for my DH for their own sibling's wedding. He could so easily drop you off at the wedding, go somewhere nice within driving distance and have a nice day with his kids.

Now that we're on 900-ish posts, let's have a sweepstake on what the 1000th post, the one that closes the thread, will be:

A) Why can't you just drive by yourself?
B) Take public transport
C) Bring the children with you and DH entertain them while you go to the wedding.

Not as "stricken" at the very thought. There could be a multitude of reasons.

Do any of us know a 5 year old that would cope with being left for 3 days with someone they didn't know?

No, I don't think they would cope....even with their 9 year old sibling.
Batshittery at its finest

My DCs wouldn't agree to a 10 hour+ return car journey just to have to hang around at a park and have nowhere to sleep for two nights!!! In the middle of nowhere up I'm Scottish highlands!! And I wouldn't make them..!

The OP deserves a medal for the most time and energy dedicated to a thread after she has come to her decision! I suppose now you know you have a bonus free weekend OP, you can kick back!

You’re just being a nasty fucker about my 5yo son now. What do you get out of it?

There was a time when we very nearly lost him - I won’t go into it but it affected my DD hugely and she worries about her little brother.

And I highly doubt bride’s sister has stuck her kids with 4 separate people that they wouldn’t be comfortable around.

I'd absolutely do this for my DH for their own sibling's wedding. He could so easily drop you off at the wedding

Yeah, so easy being the sole driver for a 700-mile trip and having to entertain the kids while you Stay Well Away from the main event.

I wouldn't do it.

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

its just a couple of days though! And she might enjoy it! Plus why would it be random - if it’s a school friend she will know them and may even even have visited their house before.

she might miss her brother but she would be ok and as I say maybe even enjoy staying with a school friend and her family. Sure she’ll be doing that kind of thing v soon anyway for sleep overs and stuff.

You haven’t mentioned your youngest and him finding separation hard so presumably it’s your eldest that worry would struggle

.....read the thread, or at least what the OP has been writing about.....

I might add in a wild card and say it'll be "you clearly don't like your brother and will shoot down any suggestions because you don't really want to go".

Mine wouldn’t have been given the choice. They did as they were told.

No I said that I would be “concerned”

I specifically said about the 9 year old.

didn’t mention your younger child and certainly no nastiness about your elder when. I said “concerned”

Eh? I think you’re making a lot of that up. People asked “why can’t you fly”. I though we’ll can I, I’ll check. I can’t

I think certain posters are becoming a bit obsessed with the Op now. (You can admit it - it's an anonymous forum after all).

I'd get this thread deleted before it goes in the papers Op.

@justmaybenot you would drive your children 350 miles to enable someone else go to a wedding/party the children weren't invited to

It is so obvious

and we are all entitled not to like our sibling and not wish to go to mammoth effort to attend

but the Op just can’t seem to accept that is reasonable and insists that there is no option whatsoever in any shape or form!

Really?
Took me ten hours in the summer holiday traffic to do this last week.
Wouldn't want to do it on the morning of the wedding as you risk being late the thebday of the wedding which l assume will go on til late.
2 nights is the minimum l could do for that distance.

You'd be fine with your kids having nowhere to sleep?

OP let's be honest you just don't want to go to this wedding alone do you? There's nothing at all wrong with that. Even for my DB I wouldn't want to travel 350 miles to the back of beyond, be separated from my family unit and likely spend a fortune doing so either. I think your brother needs to have some acceptance of this

When we got married I didn't have a blanket ban on kids (ugh! Can't personally imagine anything worse for lots of reasons) However we did decide that purely for keeping numbers and costs down that we weren't going to invite some adult cousin's children. Most lived in the immediate area so we applied this rule. These cousins willingly attended but if they'd had childcare issues there would have been no complaints at all. We did however have a couple of cousins living at the other end of the country and their kids were invited. We had the foresight to realise that it was unreasonable to expect them to travel hundreds of miles without their kids and organise childcare for a cousin they don't see often. Your DB doesn't seem to have had any such insight and he needs to take some responsibility for this

You're getting a tough time on here. Times are tough enough. Do what's right for your family unit. Your DB will get over it. If he'd wanted you there badly enough he would've invited your kids. X

Probably because if she hadn't done she'd be berated for that too. Can't win.

Well that's all I was asking. Was it just to show you 'tried' despite having no intention of taking a flight regardless of the cost? Because the end result was the same as the train (which 100% is not 360 btw) also ends in Inverness just like the plane does. Not a case of can't win but does make her seem a bit insincere

Well that’s you - I wouldn’t drive 700 miles to be left out and having to find stuff to do with the kids.