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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is rude?

27 replies

sweetlemonade · 03/08/2022 23:30

i have light blue eyes which do stand out and get commented on.

But I find it rude when people (someone serving me at a bar, hairdresser, nurse) say - you’ve got contacts in.

Nothing wrong with contacts but if I were wearing coloured contacts is that not rude to point out to a stranger? You wouldn’t say “you’ve got a wig on”

Maybe I’m just bored of the comments but I don’t think you should commented on someone’s appearance.

OP posts:
Mississipi71 · 03/08/2022 23:32

If there is nothing wrong with contacts, I don't see why you have a problem being asked. Just say no.

BiscoffSundae · 03/08/2022 23:32

I have green eyes and sometimes get asked if they are contacts , my ex was convinced they were when we first met...I don’t find it rude? I’ve also known people to ask if hair is real or extensions etc

mycatisannoying · 03/08/2022 23:36

I can see what you mean, OP. I'd probably compliment you on your lovely eyes, but asking if they're contacts is a step too far ... especially from a total stranger! I'd consider it impolite and forward.

Weird thing is, if you'd started this as a reverse 'so I asked a stranger if she wore coloured contacts, and she wasn't happy. AIBU?' you'd probably have been roasted!

drunktrifle · 03/08/2022 23:39

People ask me all the time if my hair is dyed. The only time I've found it rude was when someone literally inspected it for grey hairs.

carefullycourageous · 03/08/2022 23:39

It is rude to comment, but many people are rude so you have to work out a way to deal with it. Someone commented on my grey hair today, I found it very rude, I just gave them a dead eyed stare until they said something else.

Mississipi71 · 03/08/2022 23:40

drunktrifle · 03/08/2022 23:39

People ask me all the time if my hair is dyed. The only time I've found it rude was when someone literally inspected it for grey hairs.

😂

Original poster
sweetlemonade · 03/08/2022 23:41

mycatisannoying · 03/08/2022 23:36

I can see what you mean, OP. I'd probably compliment you on your lovely eyes, but asking if they're contacts is a step too far ... especially from a total stranger! I'd consider it impolite and forward.

Weird thing is, if you'd started this as a reverse 'so I asked a stranger if she wore coloured contacts, and she wasn't happy. AIBU?' you'd probably have been roasted!

Pretty much this yes.

I’ve never felt the need to point out a strangers appearance, unless it was a compliment in the right situation.

But just pointing something out. I don’t see the need:

OP posts:
PinkButtercups · 03/08/2022 23:41

I get told this and I have green eyes.

Doesn't bother me.

WibbleBibble · 03/08/2022 23:42

Some people do still think its ok to comment on the appearances of others unfortunately.

Original poster
sweetlemonade · 03/08/2022 23:43

carefullycourageous · 03/08/2022 23:39

It is rude to comment, but many people are rude so you have to work out a way to deal with it. Someone commented on my grey hair today, I found it very rude, I just gave them a dead eyed stare until they said something else.

Maybe I need to think of a better response.

And you’re right. People are rude. That’s not going to change.

OP posts:
drunktrifle · 03/08/2022 23:50

@Mississipi71
She went through it like a nit nurse!!

Mississipi71 · 03/08/2022 23:59

drunktrifle · 03/08/2022 23:50

@Mississipi71
She went through it like a nit nurse!!

I shouldn't laugh, bless you x 😁

LesOliviers · 04/08/2022 00:06

I understand your frustration and I agree that it's rude. I also have very blue eyes and this happens to me quite a lot too. A few weeks ago a waitress at a restaurant asked me if I was wearing coloured lenses. When I told her wasn't she kept saying that she didn't believe me. It started to get really awkward after the third comment of "but they can't possibly be real, they're so blue!" I was thinking seriously wtf?! Don't ask me question and call me a liar!

TeapotTitties · 04/08/2022 00:13

Meh, some people get pissed off at anything/everything.

And I don't believe they say "You've got contacts in" rather than "Have you got contacts in?"

For one person to state you're wearing them instead of asking if you are is weird, for more than one person it's even weirder.

billyeyelashh · 04/08/2022 09:14

TeapotTitties · 04/08/2022 00:13

Meh, some people get pissed off at anything/everything.

And I don't believe they say "You've got contacts in" rather than "Have you got contacts in?"

For one person to state you're wearing them instead of asking if you are is weird, for more than one person it's even weirder.

Were you there?

ClocksGoingBackwards · 04/08/2022 09:20

I have a naturally occurring feature that people often pay to achieve. I have probably been asked on at least a weekly basis for my entire adult life if it’s natural. It has never occurred to me that the people asking were being rude. They’re just interested, and most likely being complimentary. It seems a bit petty to get annoyed by it.

10HailMarys · 04/08/2022 09:25

I often get asked if my natural eyelashes are extensions. I don't find it rude at all.

BeanieTeen · 04/08/2022 09:51

Is this just a weird eye colour stealth boast?

People often complement my hair in the summer and ask where I had it done because it naturally bleaches in the sun. How dare they 😂

Simonjt · 04/08/2022 09:56

I sometimes get this, I think a lot of people don’t realise that green eyes are completely normal in south asians, we don’t just have brown eyes.

Ducksinthebath · 04/08/2022 10:24

Hardly the same thing is it? Someone wearing a wig is probably more likely to be doing so as a result of a medical issue. Raising that is very different to suggesting someone has contact lenses to give their eyes a more striking colour. You’re looking for insult where there is none.

Siameasy · 04/08/2022 10:33

I know what you mean, comments going on and on can be annoying. I would try to see it as a compliment. I have blue-green eyes and have had the odd comment too.

Also I’ve always been accused of having Botox as I’m a bit alien-like (lol) in my looks🤣 I honestly haven’t it’s just how I look (hard to describe, kind of angular and my skin is quite tight)

Pyewhacket · 04/08/2022 10:41

People ask me all the time if my hair is dyed.

Me too. I have a head of uncontrollable red hair.

RefuseTheLies · 04/08/2022 10:45

People ask me if my hair colour is natural a lot. Never crossed my mind to consider it rude.

billyeyelashh · 04/08/2022 12:01

BeanieTeen · 04/08/2022 09:51

Is this just a weird eye colour stealth boast?

People often complement my hair in the summer and ask where I had it done because it naturally bleaches in the sun. How dare they 😂

It’s not a compliment though is it. I’m not being told “wow you have beautiful eyes” or even being asked if I have contacts in,

People just say it to me like a fact. So to help you understand a stranger would just announce that you bleach your hair. They would not be asking you if you do or saying it looks nice.

It’s neither good or bad. I personally find it strange a stranger would just announce something about my appearance.

Ducksinthebath · 04/08/2022 12:02

Name change fail @billyeyelashh ?