To ask you how to piss off my boss (light hearted)

[Maryofscots]

I have a new boss who joined less than 2 months ago. A few weeks after she joined I resigned (not her fault I had been looking and had just been offered a role I wanted). Now I appreciate my leaving right now is not ideal due to staffing issues and boss being new. I've been nothing but nice and helpful wanting this transition period to be as painless for everyone as possible. However this new boss is quite a bitch!! She has done nothing but make my life difficult since I handed in my notice last week. I've so far been trying to be the bigger person throughout but can't help feeling like the next 3 months are going to be hell!! I now want to be petty and fight back with lots of little annoying things. Am I being unreasonable to ask you for ideas on how I can piss my boss off back?

I suppose stop being nice and check out. only do the bare minimum and when she's being mean just laugh. not a mean laugh but a tinkly laughter that everyone on here is obsessed with

Does she use a computer? Swap a few letters round on her keyboard. A classic. Fish pie for lunch?

this would be funny but unfortunately we are not based in the same office

I genuinely didn't want to do this but I'm quickly turning!!

Kill the bitch with kindness mixed with doziness !

If she asks you for information, smile, ask totally non-relevant questions, then pretend you can't remember what she asked you, or the answer to it.

e.g ''Susan, have you got the quarterly report for project A ?''
''Oh, Hi Julie ! (Grin) How are you settling in ? Wow ! Where did you buy those earrings from ? they're great ! And what was that I saw you eating at lunchtime ? It smelled yummy ! (Grin) Oops, sorry, must get on, I've got a really busy day today ! Bye !''
''Susan, I asked if you had the report ?''
''Oh, did you ? What report ? Sorry, I never heard you. Now, let me think, I'm sure I've got it somewhere, I just can't remember where right now ! (Tinkly laugh) What am I like eh ? I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on ! (tinkly laugh). I'll be sure to give it to you when I find it though ! (grin)

Then never 'remember' to do it, or anything else she asks you.

This is hilarious
I'm so going to do this!! It would drive her mad!!

I’ve always dreamed of doing this, specifically to my old next door neighbour, but a boss would work. Anyway, send her a glitter bomb!!! Or, there are companies which sell farts in a jar, apparently when you open them they absolutely reek.

Pleeeeeese do it!!! 🙏 🙏

If something is due at 5pm, send it at 4.59pm every time, even if you completed it hours beforehand.

Love this passive aggression! 😂

Ooo, this is a good idea. Wish I knew her home address. That would have been even better! She would never get rid of it ha ha

Get a small notebook. Make a point of writing down every single time she is mean. When she asks what you are doing just tell her it is a topic you want to make HR aware of at your exit interview.

malicious compliance - adhere strictly to your contract and company rules. Not a jot, dot or second more.
speak only when spoken to.

Copy her into every single email and always write @ knobhead boss, just an FYI in case anyone needs this once I leave.

Or forward her every single email trail with a full, detailed 'synopsis'.

Don't spend the next three months being the sort of employee any manager would be glad to see the back of. None of this will annoy her, she'll just be thankful you're leaving and complain about you.

Be a brilliant employee, the sort it is hard to replace. Treat her with aloof disdain. She will struggle to be a bitch to you if you make it abundantly clear that you are impervious to it and moving on to better things. If you encourage other members of the team to move on too, so much the better.

as annoying as it gets!! She is off tomorrow and I'm going to make sure when she gets back she will have a hundred emails to go through!!

See my default is to be "good" but I'm sort of getting to that stage where I feel like she's taking the piss. I can't wait to see the back of her so maybe let's get her to feel the same! I'm only going to be petty but depending on how she responds I might take it a notch higher and let her down on some important deadlines that she needs to meet!

Great post

Take a couple of days off sick but leave it as last minute as possible, what's she going to do...sack you?? 😊

Can I ask some of the things she has done to you?

I don’t know your set up but I had a good relationship with my manger and used to love to wind him up purely for the fun of it . One thing that always worked was logging out countless times a day and saying I was going for a poo for 15 mins or so and for whatever reason it used to make him irate because he knew he couldn’t do anything about it 🤣 it was genuinely light hearted tho and we did actually love each other he would deliberately wind me up also

saying I was going for a poo for 15 mins or so

Christ 🤮

We have a new boss and she is absolutely horrible. Such a bully. Due to the toxic nature of our workplace, would do absolutely nothing by putting a grievance in.

I just go and fart in her office when she's out.

It's pathetic, I know, but it gives me a sense of satisfaction.

If she asks you to do a task send an exhaustive list of questions to clarify the task .
You wouldn't want to get it wrong would you !!!

There are many reasons why the gender pay gap exists but this is one of them. Can you imagine a man writing this/being so petty? If he described a female boss as a bitch he'd be torn to shreds. What exactly makes her a bitch? Would you describe a man who behaves the same way as a bitch? Or would he be 'assertive' and 'driven'

Honestly, if you want to bow out with people thinking your a pain in the arse so be it. Personally I would grin and bear it because your reputation is worth more than any written reference and I find these things have a way of coming back and biting you in the bum.

I have a colleague that tries to manipulate me into bending the rules for her.
This is the treatment she gets Every. Single. Time.
She rarely asks me for anything any more.
I don't do favours (for her everyone else gets them) and whenever she's an uber cunt to me I copy in her boss and ask her if she needs software training to find it.
My job is a pivotal one in our office. You Do not treat me like shit and get away with it.