to be worried I won't ever get better after major surgery

[flyingumbrellas]

Hi everyone,

I hope you're not all melting in this tropical weather. I'm emotionally and physically broken at this point but also think I'm being a wimp too as people have it much worse and I know that.

Anyway I currently have a second bout of covid, which I contracted after a random infection, that occurred after a third of a large wound reopened following surgery I had 8 weeks ago to remove my spleen, half my pancreas and a massive alien type of tumour the medics think is benign but haven't completely ruled out yet. I am also depressed from having lost both my beloved parents recently and miss them so much. I lost Mum to covid at the start of the pandemic and miss her so much as she was my rock. I have no siblings and am not even 40 yet. Thankfully I have the kindest DH and an adorable DD and am thankful for them and the fact I'm alive.

However, since January I've been off sick because this tumour was so big it was causing horrendous symptoms and I just couldn't work anymore, my job is very active and physically damaged, it can also be very stressful too. Anyway, I have felt awful about being off for so long, but had to take the time out as I just felt so ill and had so many appointments to go to. Initially my managers ignored my request to work from home, then appeared to be supportive of my situation but then switched, asking me to come in for a couple of days when still signed off sick. Initially I foolishly agreed but later couldn't as I was very ill with high blood sugar and an infection. Management again appeared supportive but then decided to refer me to occupational health, which is fine. But when informing me of this said they were concerned I'd come back on a phased return and get ill again, I may never be able to work in that profession again and 'will you ever get better? it's taking a long time'.

So bit upset with that tbh. And just lying on my bed with the fan on feeling weak, tired, hot and covidy. Has anyone else had these procedures done? Did you recover ok? I'm feeling v scared right now. Feel like my work are trying to get rid of me too. I know they've previously given anyone on long term sick a rough ride on their return.

I just wish I could make a quick recovery. It's taking so long.

now I'm worried about how this heatwave will affect me..... 40 degree heat, yikes

I'm so sorry to hear what a traumatic time you've had. You need time to heal physically and emotionally; be kind to yourself. The human body is incredible and with time and patience you will become stronger and feel better.

Covid and the heatwave are a miserable addition to your circumstances but both will pass. I'm glad you have a loving home and your DH and DC will keep you going. You clearly had a lovely mum and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Rest up, eat as healthily as you can and keep drinking xxx

Of course you are feeling rotten right now, that's a huge amount to cope with - emotionally and physically.

But I am sure you are going to feel much better once you have had time to recover more and process everything.

I left my job because I felt that they were going to sack me for ill health (caused by an auto immune condition.) .

I now expect people cannot believe that I ever struggled that much.

Take care of yourself, give it time

Thank you, both of you, for your sweet and caring messages. ❤

You will get better. I had a huge benign ovarian mass removed along with the ovary and tube and I felt so weak after, but over time I did get better. But it took quite a while and you need to rest

Do not allow work to bully you into coming in when you're not fit. This will set your recovery back. Rest. Sleep. Don't feel guilty. Your body needs this to heal. Be selfish. Your boss won't be the one suffering if you come back too early and make yourself ill again. If necessary get your DH to speak to them if they contact you, if you're not feeling up to it.

You will get better. It is a long hard road but you will get to Better (but it might not be the same Better as it was before it all happened). DH had a Whipple's and lost all the bits you have lost (and a few more besides) and he found a new normal which afforded him a good quality of life. Hang on in there, it WILL get better

I had a very minor surgery that took two months to fully heal. Nowhere near what you've gone through.

It takes time so take your time

So sorry to her about what you've been through and are still going through - that's a hell of a lot to cope with. To have contracted covid again too! You're going to be feeling absolutely crap for a while, I imagine, but almost certainly you'll be back to decent health, in time. One thing at a time. The covid will disappear soon. This heat won't last forever so you'll be a bit more comfortable. Take your recovery slowly and don't be bullied by work (easier said than done, I know) - now more than ever you need peace and rest.

You WILL recover and feel better in time.

So sorry about your mum - sounds like she was a lovely woman.

Being ill is the worst and when you’re in it you can feel like it will last forever. But it doesn’t. You will recover eventually. Covid should be gone in the next week and so will the heatwave. Then you can concentrate on relaxing g and recovering from the surgery.

make sure to drink lots of water and get at least 5 veg a day.

ignore horrible colleagues/bosses - they are not important right now and there will be other jobs if it comes to it.

wishing you all the best