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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you believe this - posting again

27 replies

Magiccarpet2 · 01/07/2022 20:00

Hi all

I posted about this earlier but chose to have the thread removed but I’m just really confused so need some advice so decided to post again.

If anybody didn’t see it. I am seeing a man and we had arranged to meet up tomorrow and I would be going to his after. He text me to say he had to have an unplanned operation today on his throat due to a bleed and is now back home.

At first he said he would still see me tomorrow at his but that he can’t do much or talk much because his throat is sore. He said it was up to me if I still wanted to come and I said I would come and keep him company. He text back saying let me see how I feel after a sleep.

my mind is telling me he has had a better offer aibu? I didn’t realise he would be out so soon if he had an operation and wondered how he could have got back as I didn’t think he would be able to drive , he lives alone

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 01/07/2022 20:02

Taxi or uber ?

SmileyPiuPiu · 01/07/2022 20:03

So you've met him before? Why do you think he would lie? It would be a weird lie.

Original poster
Magiccarpet2 · 01/07/2022 20:03

Yes have met quite a few times before. Over 2 months

OP posts:
ElizaJones · 01/07/2022 20:04

I’d just let him rest.

Meraas · 01/07/2022 20:04

Surely if he has had a better offer he would have just cancelled? Sounds like he still wants to see you.

Not sure why you’re so confused or suspicious, unless he has form for lying?

SmileyPiuPiu · 01/07/2022 20:04

Hawkins001 · 01/07/2022 20:02

Taxi or uber ?

Yes or a lift from a friend. I think your over thinking things OP.

ChaosMoon · 01/07/2022 20:05

I can't think of a way to say this that doesn't sound horrible but that's really not how I intend it - you are having a weirdly paranoid reaction. I just cannot fathom why you'd think he'd lie about this. It would be so easy for you to go round - with the good intention of being supportive - and catch him out.

Does he have a history of telling bizarre lies?

IsDaveThere · 01/07/2022 20:05

Of course he could be back home if he had a minor op by day surgery, and he possibly got there in a taxi or got a friend/family member pick him up!

I think you are overthinking this. If he had a better offer wouldn't he just lie completely and say he had to stay in hospital for couple of days?

PollenHigh · 01/07/2022 20:07

I don’t know what he had done but lots of operations are done within a day without any overnight stay. I had one such procedure and it really wiped me for a few days after.

He could have got a taxi from the hospital.

Original poster
Magiccarpet2 · 01/07/2022 20:12

Thank you all. I’d just never heard of bleeding from the throat before and thought it seemed out the blue the day before we were due to meet

After he said he will see how he feels after a sleep I have said I’ll happily come round to keep him company and said for him to get some rest and let me know how he feels

OP posts:
User3568975431146 · 01/07/2022 20:12

He's just had a bleed and surgery he's hardly going to be up to doing the can-can!!

girlmom21 · 01/07/2022 20:14

Your issue is that he got home quickly? That's a really bizarre thing to worry about.

CallOnMe · 01/07/2022 20:18

He’s trying to hint that he doesn’t want you to come without hurting your feelings.

Do the decent thing and tell him you think it’s best if he rests afterwards and you’ll arrange to see him another time.

user143677433 · 01/07/2022 20:22

CallOnMe · 01/07/2022 20:18

He’s trying to hint that he doesn’t want you to come without hurting your feelings.

Do the decent thing and tell him you think it’s best if he rests afterwards and you’ll arrange to see him another time.

Yes, this!

SmileyPiuPiu · 01/07/2022 20:23

Magiccarpet2 · 01/07/2022 20:12

Thank you all. I’d just never heard of bleeding from the throat before and thought it seemed out the blue the day before we were due to meet

After he said he will see how he feels after a sleep I have said I’ll happily come round to keep him company and said for him to get some rest and let me know how he feels

Do you seriously think he'd make something that dramatic up?! Does he have form for this?

larkstar · 01/07/2022 20:31

Does he have throat cancer? Has he explained what the problem is?

If he's had some surgery - was it a local or a general anaesthetic? Either way - I'd guess he might want to see you but not for you to have a miserable time because - quite frankly - he probably doesn't feel up to trying to be good company for you and doesn't want you to regret that you went round - you just need an open and honest conversation - don't be afraid to say what you really want to say but be mindful of the fact that the way you are reading the situation could be totally wrong - give him a chance to explain - ask all the questions you need to ask until it all makes sense.

I hope everything is OK for both of you.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 01/07/2022 20:33

Seems too specific and the kind of thing it would be easy to be caught out about to be a lie. Why would he make up an operation and having to go to hospital, things you’re likely to ask detail about, when he could just say he had a sickness bug or covid or something if he wanted to get out of the date!?

Provenceinthesummer · 01/07/2022 20:34

I had major surgery and managed to leave!
just relax - be kind to him. Drop in a gift and make him some soup. Chill.

Batshittery · 01/07/2022 20:37

What was the point of asking for other thread to be removed?
It would be a strange thing to lie about

ImpartialMongoose · 01/07/2022 20:46

I agree with others. It sounds legitimate. He sounds as if he is feeling rotten and might be bad company. He does not want to exclude you but is giving your fair warning that it's not going to be much fun for you.

beautyisthefaceisee · 01/07/2022 20:51

it would be a very elaborate lie.

I think he sounds pretty nice, he blatantly wants left be but is entertaining you!

Leave him be.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 01/07/2022 20:55

Let him rest.

Original poster
Magiccarpet2 · 02/07/2022 11:04

Hi all. Thank you for the replies.

he has barrett's esophagus. He has told me he was back in the night for another bleed seal so will just be sleeping it off today

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 02/07/2022 11:25

He feels like shite, his throat hurts like hell and wants to be left in peace.

I would absolutely not want someone to ‘keep me company’ if I’d just come out of hospital and could barely speak, especially if I’d only had a few dates with them before that.

You are being incredibly clingy and paranoid.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 02/07/2022 11:29

So he has a diagnosed medical condition that required surgery, and your first instinct is he's lying and seeing someone else?

Honestly, do him a favour and step away from this relationship while you get help for your anxiety and paranoia.