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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling ugly day before my wedding

26 replies

WeddingShedding · 20/06/2022 08:53

I know that it's not really about how I look, but I know on my wedding day lots of people will be looking at me and I feel so grim!

I had to be on the pill for a while recently which really didn't agree with me. Had lots of psychological effects but also caused fast weight gain in a way which really doesn't work with the fit of my dress. And I have hayfever so my eyes are all itchy and red! I've come off the pill now and recovering mentally, but the physical side is not so quick!

Any advice on how to feel less down on my looks? At the moment I'm embarrassed to be seen in my dress.

OP posts:

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 20/06/2022 21:19

Is your wedding tomorrow?
You'll be so distracted in the moment that you won't care what you look like, but it's okay that you're upset now, I can imagine it's difficult to not look how you expected especially with such a sudden change.
Do what you can to make yourself feel nice, lovely perfume and makeup and jewellery. Take hayfever tablets and use eye drops if you have time to get them! if not, cold teaspoons on the eyes, lots of concealer and waterproof mascara and eyeliner.
I'm sure you'll look lovely, best wishes x

Rainbowqueeen · 20/06/2022 21:27

Congratulations!! I’d focus on the fact that you are marrying the love of your life Yes everyone will be looking at you but they are people who love you and they want to see that you are happy. As long as they can see that, that’s all that will matter to them.

I hope you have a wonderful day

hulahooper2 · 20/06/2022 21:48

My dds have been warned not to get married In hayfever season , for their sake but more so for mine.

Endlesslaundry123 · 20/06/2022 22:06

Weight gain is not the end of the world... there are plenty of beautiful amazing talented wonderful people of all different weights around the world. The best thing you can do is smile and enjoy your day. Worrying about some changes in your appearance adds absolutely no value to your day, so try to just have fun and make memories. You are in love and committing to your person in front of family and friends -- hooray! I hope you can let go as much as possible. Congratulations!

Mustardfan · 20/06/2022 22:07

Keep smiling, everyone looks beautiful when they smile, and I also think that being beautiful and radiant isn’t at all related to being skinny, I know many many rounder people who look gorgeous. Have a lovely day.

junebirthdaygirl · 20/06/2022 22:09

All people will be looking at is your big excited smile as you have your big day. Enjoy every minute and don't take any photos under trees as it will set off your hay-fever

Nothappyatwork · 20/06/2022 22:11

Brides kind of have this inner glow that comes through on the day and just makes them all look absolutely beautiful.

FleurdeLisa · 20/06/2022 22:16

Hey lovely! I felt exactly the same before my big day. I had hoped to lose weight but had to have surgery (couldn’t walk without crutches for a year so gained 3 stone). I had to have my dress altered as it was too tight and it affected my confidence BUT…I listened to others telling me I’d look beautiful and that my DH2B loved me and so did my friends and family so I tried to get over it.
I was petrified of seeing my wedding photos but for the most part, I loved them as we looked so happy. I had an absolutely wonderful day (although it flew by) and having everyone I loved in one place was magical.

FleurdeLisa · 20/06/2022 22:17

PS: Get Kleenex allergy wipes, optrex hayfever eye drops and a pack of hayfever tablets. They’re working for me ATM!

hellomynameisshark · 20/06/2022 22:21

A Kenalog shot will help with hay fever - maybe look at that route with a doctor.

DSGR · 20/06/2022 22:21

I felt similar to you but honestly it’s such a lovely emotional day, just try to enjoy it. Once you have your hair and make up ready and your jewellery, you will feel nice in your dress. And you will be happy to be getting married - which is all anyone wants to see

fghj149 · 20/06/2022 22:27

Take a deep breath, relax and enjoy your special day with the ones you love. It flies by! PS not that it matters, but I am sure you will look beautiful 😊

AffableApple · 20/06/2022 22:56

Get yourself an eye bath in the morning to ease the discomfort. You will look beautiful, you really will. Now sleep 😊

Americano75 · 21/06/2022 08:20

You're going to be radiant, and that will shine out of you. If you're getting your hair and makeup done then that's even more of a help! Please try and enjoy your day, you're marrying the man you love and that's amazing.

CharlotteSt · 21/06/2022 08:35

Nothappyatwork · 20/06/2022 22:11

Brides kind of have this inner glow that comes through on the day and just makes them all look absolutely beautiful.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Congratulations on your wedding day and have a wonderful time 😊

89redballoons · 21/06/2022 08:46

Nothappyatwork · 20/06/2022 22:11

Brides kind of have this inner glow that comes through on the day and just makes them all look absolutely beautiful.

Yes, this. My grandmother always said there's no such thing as an ugly bride.

Congratulations on your wedding day OP! It's a gorgeous day for it 😊

Original poster

WeddingShedding · 21/06/2022 10:02

Thanks everyone 😁 i will have help lacing my dress so hopefully we can make it look okay.

But you are right, I am happy and that's the most important thing! I'll look at the photos and remember feeling happy.

OP posts:

Americano75 · 23/06/2022 12:26

So how did it go? Did you have a lovely day?

xogossipgirlxo · 23/06/2022 12:58

hulahooper2 · 20/06/2022 21:48

My dds have been warned not to get married In hayfever season , for their sake but more so for mine.

Yes, this is really helpful.

SandyWedges · 23/06/2022 13:03

Nothappyatwork · 20/06/2022 22:11

Brides kind of have this inner glow that comes through on the day and just makes them all look absolutely beautiful.

I know this sounds a bit cheesy maybe but it is absolutely true. Brides just glow. Even those wearing jeans and t-shirts.

Original poster

WeddingShedding · 23/06/2022 23:32

It went okay. From pics I can see my ill fitting dress was terrible and almost indecent at times, but at the important moments I wasn't thinking about how I looked at all! And there are a few pictures which remind me of how that felt.

OP posts:

Americano75 · 24/06/2022 10:13

WeddingShedding · 23/06/2022 23:32

Congratulations! Did you have a photographer? Guarantee those pics will be much better.

Original poster

WeddingShedding · 26/06/2022 20:51

I didn't, but there are a few lovely ones of DH and me which I will keep, and hopefully forget the rest 😁

OP posts:

venusandmars · 26/06/2022 21:05

A photographer once gave me this advice: take the photos, put them away for 10 years without looking at them.

In 10 years time you'll look at those photos and say "OMG, look how young and pretty I was!"

EmeraldShamrock1 · 26/06/2022 21:07

Congratulations I'm sure you looked beautiful. 💐

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