New Ethics Adviser required for our Prime Minister

[newnamethanks]

Well, who'd have thought it? 2 Ethics Advisers down. Obviously our highly respected PM, he of the impeccable behaviour who is famed for his good judgement and Solomon-like decisions, doesn't really need an Ethics Adviser but who would you put up for the job? Del Boy has declined, Arthur Daley is unavailable, so I would move Dominic Raab to Home Secretary - oh what fun he'd have - then shift Priti Patel to Ethics Adviser. She and Mr Johnson share similar odd views on acceptable standards. AIBU to suggest PM needs an Ethics Adviser to be chosen by Mumsnet rather than one he chooses himself?

I believe Rudy Giuliani is available...

I disagree.

Mr Johnson should be instead facing criminal charges including corruption, corporate manslaughter and possibly treason.

A nursery teacher would be advisable, he needs to learn the basics first.

I think that role is the definition of “poisoned chalice”.

Voldemort?

How about Putin himself?

Why does he think he needs one?

Joey Essex, nominative determinism surely means he is a shoo-in for this role?

He doesn't think he needs one. That's the main reason he should have one. However, he/she would be a useful scapegoat when the next bucket of fertiliser is revealed as any fault can be passed to the Ethics Adviser leaving a shiny and sparkling PM saying 'not my fault'. Again. Wonder what Berlusconi's up to these days?

So as to best avoid accidentally doing something ethical.

He's gone to Kyiv today, so perhaps he'll find one there. He was due to go to a Conservative rally in Doncaster, but I suppose he'll get a better reception in Kyiv.

So he has. Interesting. I believe he considers himself an historian - although his behaviour makes that claim dubious - so he'll be aware that when a weak PM leaves the country, the pack of jackals gathers at home and start dividing up the spoils. Fingers crossed.

You beat me to it. And if he's too busy invading and destroying other countries then Steve Bannon might be a perfect fit for Johnson.

Have just read that when Johnson was Foreign Secretary(stop making me laugh, it hurts) he wanted to appoint Carrie Symonds, now the current Mrs Johnson, as Chief of Staff at £100k pa. Anyone who'd consider that acceptable is in need of a whole squad of Ethics Advisers. Or maybe Mr Rees Mogg's nanny should have a word with him.