Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband doesn't take me out

15 replies

Msfunny · 12/06/2022 19:05

Young couple. Just got married in the past year. Husband is perfectly fine in going on and organising trips/out with friends and cousins. With Me he has an issue with planning a date. We both work. The very little days I have he plans it with friends and cousins. If he was just a guy who did not like going out then I wouldn't mind BUT he loves doing outdoor stuff with anyone but me. I'm so sad and let down.

OP posts:
rainyskylight · 12/06/2022 19:08

Hi OP. Sounds frustrating! How does the conversation go when you suggest doing something?

PandaOrLion · 12/06/2022 19:09

How does it work when you suggest stuff? Have you talked about it and heard his feelings behind it?

KatherineJaneway · 12/06/2022 19:10

Do you like doing the same things?

Original poster
Msfunny · 12/06/2022 19:11

Well he says where do you wanna go. And I say I am fine with anything (I'm not materialistic a bloody walk in the park holding hands keeps me happy). What frustrates me is that he can plan a whole 5 day trip with his mates and write up a whole itinerary but with me it's like it's a chore for him. I suggested something for today but he didn't book it and now we can't go as they only take bookings

OP posts:
Original poster
Msfunny · 12/06/2022 19:11

Yes I'm very flexible

OP posts:
Kitten2 · 12/06/2022 19:13

What were things like before you got married?

Original poster
Msfunny · 12/06/2022 19:15

They were lovely. Plan big hikes/mountain climbing. Dinners etc

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/06/2022 19:15

He doesn't take you out
He didn't book it

Do you ever take him out or book anything?

NerrSnerr · 12/06/2022 19:15

Why don't you organise it? If it's something you wanted to do and he agreed you could have booked it. I'm

Original poster
Msfunny · 12/06/2022 19:17

He tends to get stressed if I book something out of the blue. BTW I'm not expecting huge 5 star dinner dates. Even a walk to the park with me. I end up doing it alone.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/06/2022 19:20

Msfunny · 12/06/2022 19:17

He tends to get stressed if I book something out of the blue. BTW I'm not expecting huge 5 star dinner dates. Even a walk to the park with me. I end up doing it alone.

But what you suggested today wasn't out of the blue because you said he didn't book it, so that implies you'd discussed it.

In future discuss, agree and then book it yourself.

NerrSnerr · 12/06/2022 19:22

What would happen if you told him now 'shall I book the activity I wanted to do for today for next Sunday so we don't forget?'. That's not out of the blue. Would he find that stressful? Is he doing this to control you?

Is he ok with you going out with other people?

It's not normal for a young couple to need to rely on the man to sort the things you do together. Should be equal- and enjoyable for both of you.

FirstAidKitNowPlease · 12/06/2022 19:31

Do you take him out ?!

ILoveToads · 12/06/2022 21:13

Are you one of the couples that will go out for dinner and have nothing to talk about, so find each other boring?

Broccoliyum · 12/06/2022 21:17

The title of your thread suggests you are passive

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread