My whole life has been a ball of pain and I don't ever see this changing.

[Fuckoffeverything]

I have nothing else to say.

Are you OK op. Do you want to talk about it

What sort of pain? Do you want to talk about it?

The second part of your thread title is more intriguing that the first. You don't say "I don't WANT it to change" but "I don't ever SEE this changing". If you could see a change, what would be the first one?

I'm so sorry to hear this. What has caused you pain? Is there anything in your life that makes you happy? I'm sure your life can and will change - don't lose hope.

I understand if you are talking about emotional pain. Through work I’ve just started some counselling to begin to unpick. Is this something you feel like you could consider?

mine is over the phone, there are email only services too if you can’t face an in person appointment. I know everyone is at different stages but I’ve come to the realisation that either my world will come crumbling down or I can at least try. I feel like I owe it to my children to try. No one around me IRL has any idea how close I have come to giving up.

sorry for derailment I just want you to know that I get it. I’m hoping there will be a change, there could be for you too