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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is financial abuse and if a RP done this they would be called neglectful?!

4 replies

justamumseekingadvice · 27/04/2022 21:22

Was receiving minimum amount of CM because of NRP being on benefits. This worked out around £6 per week but I was only paid 3 months out of 7 for some reason… always excuses…

In the past they would always calculate online based on their new jobs and earnings and then start paying me new amount straight away… until I took them to court for a child arrangements order… and now they have conveniently decided to go through CMS for payments instead because they know I will have to wait 8-12 weeks to start receiving the higher amount and until then they can continue getting their wages in full and only pay £30 per month until CMS start taking payment from them…

AIBU to think this is financial control - in the sense that because the control around contact has been taken away from them and this is the only thing they have left to control me with, that they are using it to their advantage by knowingly withholding the correct amount of CM? (They know they should be paying more because of working now but refusing to and making us wait for several weeks and months).

And to make matters worse… they haven’t paid the correct amount of CM even though I practically begged them to because my child needs so many things that she’s running out of (new school shoes, etc) and he still refused but is now flaunting that he is treating his girlfriend to a posh dinner out where - looking at the menu - he is going to be spending at least £40-45 per person 😞 more than he has sent for his child for the whole month 😞

AIBU to think that if RP was only spending £6 a week on their child and refusing to buy essential items for them and was instead spending their money on themselves that this would be neglect - so why is it any different for the NRP?! 😢

OP posts:
IstayedForTheFeminism · 27/04/2022 21:24

Yanbu at all.

Although (if you claim benefits) some of those are "for the child" and some are "for you." So no doubt someone will come along in a minute and tell you you're wrong.

justamumseekingadvice · 27/04/2022 21:28

@IstayedForTheFeminism I know exactly what you mean… the people who are convinced that child benefit covers 100% of child’s costs and living off UC is a life of luxury 🤪

OP posts:
Whooshaagh · 27/04/2022 21:29

It’s shocking and unfortunately nobody in power cares because it doesn’t affect them.
Imagine having a parent who cares so little they don’t think what £6. can realistically buy.

justamumseekingadvice · 27/04/2022 21:30

@Whooshaagh exactly! Especially when they are still somehow affording a £500 a month luxury car to drive around in… 😞

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