Daughter

[Stellagalaxy]

Have name changed for this.

Me and ex have a daughter who will be 4 in July. Lately when I am going to take her for a bath and her father is down, she has been saying that she doesn't want him to come upstairs and tells him to wait downstairs. This came from nowhere as he has been present numerous times for bath time before without issue.

One time when it first started happening, we did it so I took her into the bathroom first and he came in later. She started crying, pushing him out of the bathroom and closing the door.
After bath time, she will happily run around naked downstairs in front of him. She loves her dad and I know nothing untoward has happened. She is fine with him taking her to toilet.

Just looking for advice on how to deal with this.

Have you gently asked her why? It does seem odd that she's ok to be naked around him, just not during bath time. Could it be that she wants to spend time with you? Or that she feels comfortable with you touching her during bath time and not her dad?

Personally I don't think there is a need to 'deal with it' if she doesn't want him there when she's having a bath, then he shouldn't be unless he's the only grown up there to do it. Even at 4, she should be allowed to say what she's comfortable with

Maybe he has the water too hot or cold ? Maybe she prefers you to bathe her. Maybe you allow her more play time

Thanks all.

I'm always present at bathtimes and run the water. And I'm the one who has always washed her, he's just been there in the past playing with her

Most children know which sex they are compared to their mum or dad by age 2. Many children start to desire privacy by age 3 or 4. They are also intelligent enough to observe when we tend to have privacy....in our rooms, in the toilet, when bathing, etc.

I think that is all that is happening here. She knows she is a girl and she now wants that privacy when bathing. It will only increase as she gets older and is perfectly normal. There is nothing to do but respect it and you do bath time until she is old enough to bathe or shower by herself.

Agree with @Mommabear20 there is nothing to deal with. Children have a right to bodily autonomy.

My 3 year old will tell me to leave the bathroom if she is on the toilet doing a poo. I leave. She will call me in when she's finished to help her wipe her bum. Very soon she won't call me in at all as in the last couple of days she learnt she can wash her hands properly on her own.