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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like a fraud for claiming expenses after a car crash.

32 replies

chillingwineagain · 16/04/2022 13:49

We were driven into last week.
We both got a terrible shock and our heads and necks were flung forward and jolted back.
The driver was DUI amd left the scene of accident. He was arrested and charged.
The Dr reckons I have some
Soft tissue damage and wants me to go for x rays. He thinks I am
More in shock that anything. I've never been in a crash before and I am
The passenger from
Hell, I'm that nervous.

I find that I'm down playing this. I despise the whole sue culture but in order to pay for My body and car damage, I will need to claim against drivers insurance.
I feel like a fraud
We have a big court case coming for this. I feel sick to
My stomach about this. I just want it all to go away and pretend it never happened so I don't have to sue the driver .
Help me
See sense please.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 16/04/2022 13:52

It’s important to remember that claims like this exist for a reason. You were injured due to someone’s careless driving and may need further treatment. It’s also clearly caused you a lot of stress and anxiety. Surely you can see the difference between your situation and someone just keen to make a few quid? If you’re really torn up about it you can always drop the claim and not pursue it - but I don’t think you should.

Frazzled2207 · 16/04/2022 13:53

you are having to make a claim against his insurance for the damage to the car surely?

He won’t have to pay anything

Separately to what you are doing he presumably might go to jail and be banned from driving. But that’s up to the courts not you.

Original poster
chillingwineagain · 16/04/2022 14:08

I know I'm not a fraud but do feel like one.
I am so utterly exhausted since. I feel I could sleep for 20 hours per day. So so tired and last night, in my sleep, I apparently let a big' ouch' noise out of my
Mouth and was moaning and said in my
Sleep that I had pulled my neck??
I have no recollection of this.
My body feels sore and old.
Taking laundry
Out of washing
Machine is painful as is emptying the bin. It
Feels like a ' pull' on my shoulder and neck .
This man may go to jail and I feel bad for him
Too.

OP posts:
Itsallaboutthebenjamins · 16/04/2022 14:13

Wtf why do you feel bad?! Or wrong/fraud etc?! The person who drove into you was drunk and ran off and left you! Take them for everything you can, get loads of physical and mental help and claim lots of compensation. This person could have killed you FGS.

EinsteinaGogo · 16/04/2022 14:15

Why do you feel so bad about it, OP?

And it why do you think it may go to court? You put in your claim against his insurers - they may well just settle if you submit enough evidence.

If the accident was only last week, no wonder you're still in pain. Hopefully things will calm down soon for you x

Mountainpika · 16/04/2022 14:17

If he's not taken to court etc. over this accident, he could well do it again and kill someone. You can help prevent that. Good luck.

PicaK · 16/04/2022 14:18

Positions reversed. You'd caused a crash.
DUI is unlikely to be the reason you'd crashed but you'd be feeling remorse.
What would you want the people you'd hurt to be doing? Anguiushing like you or looking after themselves via insurance?

Redcrayons · 16/04/2022 14:19

Why would you have a big court case? Insurance companies don’t like going to court and will most likely settle.

Don’t feel bad for the man, he’s a scumbag. He could have killed someone He throughly deserves everything coming to him.

You may have to pay for some physio further down the line. The insurance money will pay for that.

pittameinhummus · 16/04/2022 14:22

I'm going through this at the minute op, I was in a taxi that crashed (whilst with 2 dcs) and I injured my back terribly, it's 10 months on and I still have daily pain, the driver treated us appallingly and left us on the side of the road, I don't feel bad for suing him because he's caused me a genuine long term medical issue and anxiety when travelling

jackstini · 16/04/2022 14:22

Please don't feel bad - he was drunk driving and has injured you

Are you in UK?
If so, the vast majority of cases are settled out of court

Do go for the x-rays - you have no idea if the problems this could cause you down the line. Please get it checked

I was 19 when in an accident with a drunk driver. Nothing broken and no blood spilled - but the soft tissue injuries still affect me 30 years on

GrumpyPanda · 16/04/2022 14:22

Whiplash injuries are nasty. Very easy to underestimate, no broken bones after all, but can actually give you trouble decades after the incident. Please don't feel bad about taking care of yourself as much as possible. I'd go one further - I'm not in the UK so don't know the legal situation but having been through the process years and years ago then if the other side's insurance is obliged to cover it I'd have the whole process beginning to end handled by a personal injury specialist just to spare myself the aggravation dealing with their claims people.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 16/04/2022 14:22

Acknowledge that this is something you never expected to do so you will feel you dont want to. Then tell yourself it is important not to respond to these feelings in this particular situation.

ClinkeyMonkey · 16/04/2022 14:41

He was drinking and driving and was completely responsible for the position you find yourself in now, including the mental anguish you're feeling about it. Don't feel any guilt AT ALL. He could have killed you. He chose to drive while not in full control of his faculties. You didn't choose to be his victim. He even drove away because he didn't want to get caught. Honestly, save your sympathy for yourself.

bake56 · 16/04/2022 14:54

Take the money, getting a new car etc will cost you a fortune

Blanketpolicy · 16/04/2022 15:04

You will only go to court as a witness for the criminal charge of him leaving the scene I think.

Claiming personal injury from his insurance is separate, when my mum and dad claimed it took around a year with various Drs appointments required to assess their injuries which they had long term pain from and the impact on them.

SewingWarriorQueen76 · 16/04/2022 17:04

You might also need physio, it's costly. I still occasionally need a massage to sort out 20+ years old whiplash. It's not a small thing.

AllOfUsAreDead · 16/04/2022 17:07

Don't feel bad, it was his fault completely and you deserve it. It could have been a way worse outcome, you should be angry at him.

RJnomore1 · 16/04/2022 17:08

Is his insurance not invalid if he was over the limit?

Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs · 16/04/2022 17:40

@RJnomore1

Is his insurance not invalid if he was over the limit?
His own might be, but they would still pay out for a 3rd party
Oblomov22 · 16/04/2022 17:42

Please stop feeling guilty. You are entitled to everything.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 16/04/2022 17:49

It won't be a big court case? Why do you think it will?this stuff happens daily.

HermioneWeasley · 16/04/2022 17:53

Get yourself to a physio and osteopath immediately and keep receipts and claim.

I had a whiplash injury (also a DUI) and they are nasty. I had weekly osteopath visits and therapeutic massage and claimed it all - why wouldn’t I? I couldn’t claim for all the time it cost me sorting out that dickhead’s damage, I was going to claim for every penny of cost,

Babyvenusplant · 16/04/2022 17:53

That's one of the many reasons insurance exists op, you were genuinely hurt by accident and not faking it to get compensation

CharlotteRose90 · 16/04/2022 17:56

It won’t go to court. The other driver caused the crash and his insurance will admit it. They’ll pay out. Make sure you get reports over your injuries and ask for physio.

Babyvenusplant · 16/04/2022 18:08

Also

Please don't feel an once of sadness if this man ends up going to jail (which he probably won't) just look at the crash that killed those two little children that's been in the news. He was also under the influence and chose to drove that day.

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