To ask how to tell work?

6 replies

LittleMisfortune · 15/03/2022 07:18

Hi all,

Posting for traffic as hoping I get answers before I start.

I started a new job yesterday, I found out I was pregnant last Tuesday - I didn't know in the interview or when I accepted the job (I know it doesn't matter if you do but I just thought I'd mention it).

I went to urgent care last night as I had really bad pain and was light headed with bleeding (not much) but I have health anxiety and with a previous miscarriage I wanted to be on the same side.

The doctor wants me to have an urgent appointment on Thursday morning just to rule out anything sinister but they can only see me at 11 so I'm gonna have to tell work.

The problem is my manager is a man and I don't know I don't feel comfortable speaking to him about it when I just met him yesterday. Would I be able to request to speak to the female HR lady or a female member of management without offending him?

I know to some people this may be a non issue but I do feel really worried about it so any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you

OP posts:

Rainallnight · 15/03/2022 07:24

I think the simplest thing is to say you need an urgent health appointment but not to specify what it is.

But more broadly, for anything pregnancy related, I think you would be a bit U not to tell your manager, who’s the one who’ll be most directly affected by you not being there. And you have a long pregnancy ahead so I don’t think it’s feasible to want to deal with a woman all the time.

Original poster

LittleMisfortune · 15/03/2022 07:28

@Rainallnight

I think the simplest thing is to say you need an urgent health appointment but not to specify what it is.

Sorry I should have said ( I rushed my post) he's my managers manger but because I'm new I'm with him for the next two weeks usually it's a few days but my actual manager is on AL so I'd normally be dealing with a female however I wouldn't mind talking to a man if I knew him a bit more, I didn't mean for it to come across like that.

But thank you, you're right I'm overthinking it.

OP posts:

FarmGirl78 · 15/03/2022 07:34

Just tell him you have an urgent medical appointment. That's all you have to say. Apologise that it's interfering with your working day, but you don't need to elaborate. I'm sure that as a new manager he won't want to make a big thing out of it so as not to make a bad impression on you too.

TheDaydreamBelievers · 15/03/2022 07:46

When I didn't want to tell work about miscarriage related appts I told them it was urgent health appt and when pressed what for I said "gynaecology" which is accurate and makes them ask no more Q's...

Original poster

LittleMisfortune · 15/03/2022 08:22

@TheDaydreamBelievers

I'm sorry about your loss.

That's great thank you, I wouldn't have thought of that so appreciate you sharing.

OP posts:

Cakecakeandcake · 15/03/2022 08:26

I went for an interview 12 years ago and the time from interview till I started the job was 3 months. I’d forgot about the job as it was so long. I had just found out I was pregnant after years of trying, a week before I started. I dreaded telling them, but I told hr at my induction. It was only meant to be temporary anyway, I was there five months. I had problems in the pregnancy so was always taking days of for the hospital. It was a large factory. I hated it as most of the other women were v bitchy, I was getting special treatment lol 😂 eg away early for breaks, a seat when needed. I just laugh about it now

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