Should she have paid for Carrie’s shoes?

[AllyBama]

Lighthearted obviously and I know I’m being unreasonable for doing an AIBU for a Sex And The City episode but it was the on in the house in the background today and it was like they took the storyline right out of a mumsnet classic! You don’t need to have watched the series to weigh in.

It was the episode where Carrie goes to a baby shower or kids party or something in $475 Manolo Blahnik shoes and is asked (with everyone) to remove them at the door. At the end of the night, the shoes are gone, ostensibly nicked. After some deliberation,

Carrie comes to the conclusion that the homeowner who asked her to remove her shoes should replace them. Carrie is ‘shoe shamed’ - the party thrower initially rebuffs the idea of reimbursement and says she shouldn’t have worn such extravagant shoes to a party and they shouldn’t have to fund her lifestyle.

So
YABU: The party thrower was right, Carrie chose to wear such an over the top shoe to a baby shower, she shouldn’t have to replace them
YANBU: Carrie is right, while the shoe was an extravagant choice, it was never Carrie’s choice to remove them and the homeowner should replace them.

If I remember correctly Carrie calculates what she has spent on her friend's life choices - engagement party present, bachelor party present, wedding present, baby shower present, additional presents for children's birthdays / subsequent baby showers.
Carrie's friend has never spent so much money on Carrie, she insisted shoes were removed, plus one of her guests is a thief. It's difficult to see why she wouldn't be mortified at that.

I voted YABU, because I watched half of one episode and thought it was puerile nonsense!

Haha love this episode!!

I think Carrie's overall point was valid - that she had spent loads on her friend to celebrate her life choices and was never likely to see that in return, plus her friend was really judgemental.

BUT I equally don't think her friend was responsible for footing the whole bill as it's not like she/her child destroyed the shoes or took them. I'd expect an apology and maybe a token gift/amount towards them but not the whole bill.

@SirChenjins

I haven’t seen it because they all irritate me intensely, Carrie esp, but if the shoes were so important she should have carried them inside with her obvs. Her friend isn’t responsible for her choosing to leave them outside or for the actions of the thief.

They were inside! A party guests stole them.

Ah OK, I thought they were outside. She still should have kept them with her.

Why didn't they search all the guests & get the shoes back?

If the "friend" was insisting Carrie removed her shoes then friend should have provided a safe place to put the shoes.

Personally, if I was Carrie, I would have carried the shoes around with me knowing how expensive they were but it's understandable to presume they'll be safe where the homeowner tells you to put them.

If it were my house I'd be mortified and turning Miss Marple to find out who is the thief among my other friends!

First I'd send a message asking who may have taken them in error.

As a hostess I would be mortified, and I wouldn't hesitate to reimburse my guest.

Team Carrie on this one

And I don't say that often

The friend should have offered to pay for the shoes in a genuine way, Carrie should have kindly refused the offer.

As Carrie, I'd be upset that my shoes had gone missing/been nicked. I'd want the host to do so much more to help locate them, including speaking to all party goers, kids etc. I'd also have liked to have known that it was a no shoe house.

As host, I'd think that it's ridiculous to wear such expensive shoes to a kids party. I wouldn't be able to spend that much money on shoes, especially when I have actual humans to clothe and feed. I'd also be secretly thinking what the host said and thinking, well Carrie has millions of shoes so it's hardly a desperate situation. But, I'd not say any of that and would really try to help Carrie find them and offer something towards them.

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Why didn't they search all the guests & get the shoes back?

Because Carrie was one of the last ones left at the party so most of the guests (and shoes) had already left.

Imagine a time when you'd get a pair of manolos for $475

@Rosehugger

If it were my house I'd be mortified and turning Miss Marple to find out who is the thief among my other friends!

First I'd send a message asking who may have taken them in error.

Agree with this, I'd be mortified if I knew one of my other guests had stolen my friend's shoes. I'd definitely be contacting every guest to see if I could get them returned.

This episode has always played on my mind. I think it wrong of Carrie to ask her to pay, she has loads of shoes and sometimes things get stolen. If it was the only footwear she owned and she couldn't afford a new pair then ok maybe..
In real life not many people could afford to replace a friends designer shoes anyway

Love this episode and the way Carrie gets replacement shoes from the CF "friend" in the end by marrying herself

Only time ever Carrie was reasonable. It was a christening wasn't it? It's pretty standard to dress up and wear nice shoes to an event like that. Her friend was very rude when Carrie had no shoes to walk home in (didn't she have to borrow some too large crocs or something).

@BrightYellowDaffodil

I’ve never forgotten this episode, the patronising response of Carrie’s “friend” grated like fuck then and it still does. Probably because it was meant to highlight how some (disclaimer: not all, before you flame me) parents decide that they’ve had an epiphany once they had a child and to them nothing is as important as parenthood/children. Caring about anything else is just shallow and meaningless.

I loved the ending of that episode

Yes, I loved this episode and especially the ending.
Tatum O'Neil played the friend I think?
Aah, happy days before AJLK..when SATC was just..perfect.
Think I'm due a re-run 🍿

I don't understand why because they were an expensive pair of shoes it's somehow Carrie's fault? She wasn't expecting to have to remove them, she wasn't expecting someone else at the party to be a thief. I don't think it was unreasonable to expect the host of the party who insisted shoes be removed to reimburse her for them.

And it wasn't a kid's party. It was a party to celebrate the birth of a baby. Not sure why it makes it less acceptable to wear nice shoes though just because it's a party for a kid . Do some of you expect to have your possessions stolen at that sort of event?

I enjoyed that episode, the fact that she worked out all the gifts and expense she had gone to celebrating the friend's life choices (getting married, having children) whilst Carrie had not married or had children and the friend then disputed Carrie's life choice of expensive shoes.

@TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder

Meant to add…….Carrie should have ‘logged’ it with the police

😂

and follow it up with a free half hour with a solicitor

Insurance claim

Carrie should have known thatnitnis basic god manners an hygiene to remove shoes at the door, and should have planned for that. But, having stupidly worn such expensive shoes, she should have asked for borrow a plastic bag and kept them with her.

@vitahelp

This episode has always played on my mind. I think it wrong of Carrie to ask her to pay, she has loads of shoes and sometimes things get stolen. If it was the only footwear she owned and she couldn't afford a new pair then ok maybe.. In real life not many people could afford to replace a friends designer shoes anyway

You cannot be serious!