AIBU cutting off contact ?

[Lolabray]

Hi after a recent split from my ex, I am sat thinking about the stepchildren. I had a close relationship with them and they are only little. I will miss the children. On one occasion the little one made a call to me to say they loved me.

I am not sure if ex encouraged her to do this.

My question is and I am a loving person but feel bad.. do I cut off contact with his kids completely. I feel this is the best way but at the same
Time I’m thinking of the hurt it may cause the kids.. even though it was his own fault why it ended.

I can understand why you feel conflicted.

How old are they and is their mother in the picture? If they are very young and mother is around I think it will be best for you just to move on. More difficult if they’ve come to view you as their mother figure.

You don't mention the ages of the children. If they are still young then children adjust to new situations quickly so there's an argument for making the cut sooner rather than later. Irrespective of whether he encouraged the call - IF he did so then that was despicable - it's highly unlikely that when he meets someone else he'll be encouraging the continuation of the step-parent relationship with you. The breach is coming sooner or later, it's just a question of when.

Women are conditioned to feel guilty over issues like this as society has typecast us as carers. Your ex's children already have two parents to care for them. In allowing, much less encouraging, the call to you, it seems you are taking account of their needs more than their father.

It's hard, but I would block all contact and not look back or indulge guilty feelings. It's much the kindest course.