Hide my FUPA

[JaneyJimplin]

What jeans, trousers, outfits can I wear that won't highlight my myriad flaws?

I gained weight in lockdowns and can't shift it. This is me for now, I need to stop wearing leggings and baggy long tops or squeezing myself into uncomfortably small clothing "until I lose weight". But what can I buy? I'm at a loss.

This is me:

Size 14-16. Let's just say 16.
Tall, 5'9" with long limbs
No waist
Fatest around the middle
FUPA (fatty upper pubic area)
Chunky thighs with bad cellulite
Cabbage patch doll knees
Flabby upper arms
Flarmpits (flabby armpits)

I always gravitate towards skinny jeans but the FUPA and thigh situation are doing mr no favours.

Make-believe I'm your grotesque barbie doll. Please dress me.

I cant help you on the clothes but I think you really need to work on your relationship with yourself. You talk about yourself in a really awful way

You sound fab, 5 foot 9, long legs
Belted dresses, with tights and boots?
A belt WILL give you a waist, no doubt about it
Straight jeans, blazer type jacket, funky silk scarf
I only wish I had your height, I'm a 16 but 5 feet tall
I also agree you're very mean to yourself! Get your head up doll!

I’m with the poster above. Tell me 3 things you like about your body, what are the bits you like?

For instance I have a fupa too but I’ve got pretty decent ankles and calves. So I try and remember that when I’m dressing….

A belt WILL give you a waist, no doubt about it

Not if your waist to hip ratio is 1. Ask me how I know

I have never heard the P stand for pubic. I guess that's the SFW version

I've had loads of therapy. They always say I talk negatively about myself, I think I'm actually just very astute. If I looked good, I'd admit it.

3 physical things I like about myself... I honestly don't know. My lips are a nice shape. My bum is nice and round (you know, some people have those flat bums? Mine's always been round). My eyes are a nice colour.

None of that will detract from the FUPA though.

What kind of jeans should I go for? I already choose high waisted, but the fupa is still aparent. Maybe I need more expensive jeans?

@LampLighter414 what's SFW?

Thanks for explaining FUPA.

Good to know my downstairs is not unique

I'm all of the above except I'm 5'6 so it looks even worse on me! Am pregnant now as well so can't even do anything yet. Following with interest for after.