to think food is being wasted if it's eaten under duress by someone who doesn't need it, just as much as if it's thrown in the bin?

[sadpapercourtesan]

I've always thought this, every since I was little and being literally forced to eat. If a child has eaten as much as they want, and are saying they are no longer hungry, isn't it still "food waste" to force it down them? Likewise, overeating just because you've made (or someone else has made) more food than is needed and don't want to throw it away - surely that's still wasteful? The only way to avoid wasting food in that scenario is either to package the leftovers hygienically and use them later, or cook less food in the first place.

YABU - if food has been cooked, it should be eaten rather than thrown away whether the diner wants/needs it or not

YANBU - cramming in food that you don't want or need is as much "food waste" as throwing it in the bin

I don’t know if I would call it just as much food waste as in the bin (since for example it might mean the next meal is smaller or a snack is not needed). But it’s a really bad idea for many many reasons. Sorry you were forced to eat.

Totally agree, OP. Always better to stop when you've had enough. It's not turning back into ingredients regardless!

On the flip side, is forcing someone to eat something they don't want to treating them like a bin...where is the respect and personal decision making in that??
As per pp, neither are good and the "clear your plate mantra" can have huge negative impacts for future generations.

Yes! I’ve always thought this. It is also wasteful if you eat too much food so you’re uncomfortable. You’ve just ruined your meal and now the whole thing is a waste.

It is bad to force people to eat, incl kids.

It’s also bad to throw food away. It should be turned into leftovers and used for another meal.

The wasteful interpretation of your situation is that a child / grownup would eat a tiny amount at mealtime, bin the rest, and then stuff their face with junk after.

More or less YANBU. But it does depend a little on why the person doesn’t want it - eg if child won’t eat their dinner but got a couple of bags of crisps from the cupboard after school, and is holding out for a bowl of ice cream after dinner, then yes, eat your proper actual food, you’re “wasting food” by filling up on snacks - the answer is to not snack, so that you have room for dinner.
But if the child / adult is actually full through the proper dinner, and doesn’t need any more, then no need to eat it. Save the leftovers if you can or bin it / learn to cook the right amount.

I agree. I rarely have waste food as I try not to buy too much but on the occasion I have to throw something away I pretend it’s gone because I ate it rather than feeling bad about chucking it. It helps me feel better about it for some reason!

I agree. I had a flatmate who couldn't stand waste, so would make a horrible stir fry with everything on the turn. Her face as she ate it showed she wasn't enjoying it, I tried it once and .
Sometimes life happens, plans change, and a little bit of veg goes to waste.
Not the exact scenario you're describing but I feel zero guilt in binning food if it's not got a purpose and isn't wanted.

I take the point (made by a couple of pp) that it's a waste of "proper food" if people are leaving it in favour of eating junk - that could be worked around, I think, by either not buying junk or checking with people how hungry they are before you cook.

I do think that although coercive feeding practices have declined (along with authoritarian parenting in general, thankfully) there is still a prevalent tendency to think that it's better to squeeze in that extra sausage/potato that nobody wants rather than throw it away.

Totally agree - growing up we had the rule you had to clear your plate. I remember pushing food around a plate and trying not to vomit.

As an adult it took me years to realise it was fine to stop when I didn't want any more - I read a statement along the lines of 'why treat your body like a dustbin' and it really struck a chord with me.

My -relative- says “We’ll, they’ve gotta be eaten!” about cakes she’s made too many of and doesn’t want to throw in the bin because it’s a “waste of money”. I did once point out she wouldn’t save or make any money by having them go through our digestive systems

I agree, the food is wasted at the point that there is too much, and there's no use for leftovers. Eating it as an obligation is just treating your body as a bin.

@EatYourVegetables

It is bad to force people to eat, incl kids.

It’s also bad to throw food away. It should be turned into leftovers and used for another meal.

The wasteful interpretation of your situation is that a child / grownup would eat a tiny amount at mealtime, bin the rest, and then stuff their face with junk after.

I agree with this. I'd never expect someone to eat food they weren't hungry for, but all leftovers are reused in this house so they don't go to waste.

I read the "don't treat your body like a bin" line a while back and it changed my whole outlook on food (one that was ingrained from childhood). I do try my best to plan ahead and avoid food waste, but no longer force myself to eat food I don't even want (particularly excess junk at Christmas) just so I don't "waste it".

I know dcs who will ignore their food because they are obsessed playing a video game. Does taking a console away and telling the child they can't have it back until they've eaten their supper count?

There are all sorts of reasons dcs don't eat.

@MintJulia

I know dcs who will ignore their food because they are obsessed playing a video game. Does taking a console away and telling the child they can't have it back until they've eaten their supper count?

There are all sorts of reasons dcs don't eat.

I'm sure that's true, but I can't see how it relates to the OP

YANBU and I wish I could convince MIL of this. The number of times I’ve said that to get when she’s trying to push DH or I to finish up something…

See also: praising a child for a clean plate. It’s not praiseworthy. If I plated up spag bol in the kitchen and DD ate it all, then well done me, I guessed the amount she wanted to eat. If I guessed it wrong, that’s not her fault.

I agree totally. I was made to eat as a child, and I always thought it was just as wasteful as putting it in the bin ,even then. If food isn't needed or enjoyed, it should be thrown away rather than forced down someone's throat .

Yep and no, it doesn't make the starving people in Africa feel better that I'm stuffing food in while full. That's kind of just rubbing it in their faces that we eat too much.

@AllotmentTime

YANBU and I wish I could convince MIL of this. The number of times I’ve said that to get when she’s trying to push DH or I to finish up something…

See also: praising a child for a clean plate. It’s not praiseworthy. If I plated up spag bol in the kitchen and DD ate it all, then well done me, I guessed the amount she wanted to eat. If I guessed it wrong, that’s not her fault.

I had to stop MIL from doing this when mine were toddlers, encouraging them to "eat it all up or no sweeties later!" etc. It was entirely well-meaning but pushed all sort of horrible buttons for me.

Yanbu. Why wouldn't you just save leftovers if everyone is full?