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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DPis a fecking child

26 replies

KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 30/12/2007 16:58

DS1 left a plate of toast on top of DP closed lap top THIS WAS WRONG and I have said so, but DP decided the way to deal with it was to throw the plate and toast on the floor!!!
He is quite adamant that this was the grown up and right thing to do, he then refused to clear it up (I had to).
I don't think DP likes DS1 much and is always having a go at the way DH1 and I parent our children.
I have had enough now I really have.

OP posts:
LuckySalem · 30/12/2007 16:58

Child!!

juuule · 30/12/2007 17:01

He needs to grow up. (dp that is)

Original poster
KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 30/12/2007 17:02

This is why toy boys are a BAD idea, he is 28

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 30/12/2007 17:03

YANBU

That is the behaviour of a fecking child.

Mommalove · 30/12/2007 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SueBaroo · 30/12/2007 17:09

Your DP threw the plate and toast on the floor? Because grown-ups don't ask people to clear up their own things, they make more mess for unrelated people to clear up? Twonk.

YANBU

TheJinglyBellsOfSeptimusQuench · 30/12/2007 17:11

YANBU

What a nob

VictorianSqualor · 30/12/2007 17:13

OMG! How ridiculous!
My dp is 23 btw and would never do it, so it's not age! Just stupidity.

Original poster
KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 30/12/2007 17:18

Thank you ladies, So I was justified in calling him a childish then

OP posts:
anorak · 30/12/2007 17:20

Ah Kimi I knew this would be you from the thread title!

LuckySalem · 30/12/2007 17:20

yep definately!

If my DP EVER did that, he'd have a foot up his backside whilst he was being forced to clean it up with his teeth! lol

smartiejake · 30/12/2007 17:33

Sweep up the crumbs and put them in his side of the bed! Silly little boy- send him home to his mummy.

moyasmum · 30/12/2007 17:36

YOUR child upset him, so he made YOU clear up the mess.
Of course hes not going to clear up the mess, hes petulently making YOU pay. This happens in loads of relationships where the erring child is mums fault and "good"child is a "chip off the old block!"
You dont need this dick.

Original poster
KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 30/12/2007 17:58

Joy his mother just phoned, I told her what he did (my turn to be childish )

OP posts:
KIMIlfullofhopefor2008 · 30/12/2007 18:57

Now he says it is all MY fault for shouting at him
Bad kimi bad bad.

oxocube · 30/12/2007 19:01

prat

KIMIlfullofhopefor2008 · 30/12/2007 19:48

Me or him .

It seem he is not in the wrong and has never been in or done anything wrong ever.
It is not acceptable for me to shout at him but it IS ok for him to shout at my boys when they do something wrong.

I have just gone past caring now

moyasmum · 30/12/2007 20:32

Sounds like my husband.

fireflyfairy2 · 30/12/2007 20:36

What are his good qualities?

catsmother · 30/12/2007 20:56

Sorry, I don't know the background to this but in just a couple of short sentences, I'm feeling my blood run cold.

This is a supposed adult effectively saying that unless you keep your children "under control", and "to my liking", I will a) shout at them (when, under most circumstances, the discipling should be done by you) and b) humiliate and punish you when they upset me. In other words, this man seems to want to emphasise his position in the household as lord and master over a plate of effing toast FFS !

I can understand the odd flounce, such as knocking the plate on the floor, which, although not right, is something (or similar) we've all done when particulary annoyed. But then refusing to clear it up .... making you do it .... it's like he's definitely stamping his "authority" over matters. Nasty. And worrying, IMO. Doesn't say much about his opinion of you, nor about his suitability to be living with children.

VictorianSqualor · 31/12/2007 11:12

I'd say the issues were a lot mroe than a plate of toast here. DP is not my DC's dad but I couldn't imagine feeling like he expecte me to keep my kids under control. It must be hard. As for it being your fault
DP does do the whole 'how dare you shout at me' thing even if he's been a twat but tbh I just laugh and say 'yep, raising my voice is the issue here, get off your high horse' and it's normally sorted.
If I felt that he expected me to be the way it sounds like your dp expects I'd be having serious words.

madamez · 31/12/2007 11:27

Is he that good a shag? Because why else would you want to give this petulant bell-end house room? Without wishing to sound too scary, people who behave like this (as opposed to having a moment's flash of irritability and then apologising) can progress to being quite dangerously abusive if the are not firmly slapped down and shown that their behaviour is not acceptable.

Original poster
KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 31/12/2007 12:08

DP and I are very different, I admit to being shouty, but where as I will shout and it is over and done with DP will brood on it.
DH1 who is here says we are both over reacting.
Ever the flipping diplomat.

OK DP has no children and will never have any if he stays with me, and my two are boy and loud and messy (DS1 has tourettes) they won't eat their greens and I do far too much for them but hey thats family life.

I don't think DP is happy with me tbh. Don't think I am what he thought he was signing up for.

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 31/12/2007 12:13

Children are loud and messy, with or without tourettes.
I'm the same as you, I say what I mean and get it all out and done, then it's over, whereas DP will mope and strop for hours with me constantly asking 'What's up?' and him pretending, really badly, that nothing is wrong.
You say he isn't happy with you, but are you happy with him?
If you want to be together your attitudes towards your kids need to be worked on. I'm sure all families have a parent that thinks one does too much, molly-coddles the children etc, whilst the other one thinks that the other is too hard, needs to chill, etc. whether or not they are both the biological parents. It's something that needs dealing with though.

oxocube · 31/12/2007 12:20

Him, Kimi, definitely him