I'm having a really difficult time with my mum and need some advice.
My child's father is and was abusive. We split up when he was a tiny baby and he wasn't involved in his life. He is controlling, he would have sex with me in my sleep and laugh about it. Since we split up, he's pursued me through the family courts with a new application every few months as a way of tormenting me. He sits in his car outside my house revving his engine. There's an ongoing police investigation.
Over the last year, he's been turning up to my mum's house and she's been engaging in chats with him. He keeps on phoning and messaging her and I've her not to engage as his motives are not benign and I find it incredibly triggering. She will pass on messages from him to me eg "Jamie says you're doing xyz" and wanting me to defend myself. I've impressed how he's doing this as a form of abuse which my domestic abuser agrees with. She keeps lying and saying she's blocking his number and he's calling her on new burner phones. Even if this is true, she refuses to just say "Sorry Jamie, I'm not talking to you, talk to Lucy" and put the phone down. She will have hour long conversations with him.
I'm finding this very difficult and triggering and can see exactly what he's doing. It's putting an incredibly strain on my relationship with my mum and I don't know what to do if she doesn't stop doing this. The only thing I feel like I can do is to go no-contact but that would hurt her so much.
Any advice