Is anyone around, finding things v. difficult

[Namechange7878]

No big life event just ground down by difficult marriage and child with additional needs and finding the night scary and long. Is anyone there to talk to about anything to get through it.

Your description of your walk is beautiful. You have a poets eye.
Not alone at all OP x

Sorry your OH isn't registering how unhappy you are. It can feel like shrieking into a void when those closest won't or can't listen x Wow those deer sound amazing! Are you in the UK or was this somewhere else? I go hiking in the country quite a lot and it's so lovely to catch sight of a deer but I've only ever seen one or two at a time. You describe that scene so beautifully. I want to go! There's something so comforting about being around nature, especially in a wood.

Sounds like you have some beautiful nature around you!

As FeelingBlu92 says, it is a really really hard time plus the Christmas holiday can be so full on and exhausting. I did notice tonight though that it's getting dark just that little bit later. Cold though today!

I hope you got to sleep OP.

I just wanted to second the idea of sensory exercises for the future. It's something you can practise several times a day to reset your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of your nervous system that returns your body to calm.

Another one apart from the water splashing one is to lie down with your hands behind your head, just where your skull meets your neck, elbows pointed outwards, just putting gentle pressure until you notice yourself either yawning or sighing.

Google exercises to strengthen your polyvagal nerve, and practise them several times a day.

Also the writing everything down thing can also help. Writing all resentments down, however small and then throwing away the bit of paper and meditating for a short while can help you to release what's going on for you.

Thinking of you

I’m sorry you’re also struggling. I’ve been chronically ill and has chronic pain for more than 10 years now and have had 3 major surgeries on the same area. My body can’t take it anymore and is struggling to heal. The covid jab in top of that has made me irrevocably ill. I was poisoned by prescription drugs in the first instance. My body is very sensitive.

I have very few friends now also as I am unable to got out much and socialise. So boring me was dropped. What they didn’t want to understand is how an evening out takes weeks of planning. Then on the day I can need to be in bed at 6pm and have to cancel. I only ever accepted to go out as a group so my attendance would not affect others so I was considerate of them even if not reciprocated.

I have recently bought a sensate. www.getsensate.com/pages/sale. They’re quite expensive but give a lot of inner calm and peace. I’m done with sleeping now for the night as my patterns are erratic. But this helps to get me calm, gets me in a better place emotionally and back to sleep.

Sorry idk why I posted that. Just to say. You’re not alone. Thinking about you.

Hi op.

Hope some of the sensory ideas are helping.

If Samaritans aren’t able to help today you can try texting SHOUT to 85258. They usually have a quick response time and sometimes it is easier to write down how you are feeling like you have done on here.

It sounds lovely where you live with the frost and the shooting stars,

I’m just up feeding DD. She said ‘DaDa’ really clearly this evening which felt rewarding. (Amidst the general exhaustion)

Is there anyway that you can get a break to clear your mind?

When I was last in your place and going to CBT therapy/practicing meditation the line that stuck with me and helps is

“Thoughts are not facts they are just events that happen in the brain”

When my mind is going off on one I remember this and it can help to defuse some of the spiralling panic.

Wishing you all the best op

Some good advice from kindred souls to get you through a bit of the night, OP. Toddler now up so I will go down so as not to wake my son.
I hope you see deer again soon x

I hope you’ve got some sleep

Dear @Namechange7878, I am also thinking about you. I hope you are resting now. When able, can you tell us more about your life and the things you are finding difficult?
Sending lots of love your way 💛.

Mummyoflittledragon I'm so sorry about the friends. I understand completely. Thank you for sharing that.

I watched soap pouring and will Google the exercises.

Finally might sleep.. peace and love

Dear namechamge7878
I hope you are resting or catching a few z’s
You write beautifully , I can see those deer in my minds eye from your words , how beautiful that you saw them .
Handhold across the night
If you’d like to talk then I’m here for a while x

Cross posted , sleep well x

Thanks . I hope you get some sleep.

Hi op, sorry you’re having such a hard time.

Don’t know if this will be useful but as a lifelong insomniac I believe I’ve honed getting through the night.

If you go to Amazon and search “sleep phones” you’ll get lots of results. I pop these on when I wake in the night and listen to sleep podcasts (“get sleepy”/“nothing much happens” are two I find very good). For some reason I can’t switch back off once I’ve woken up.

But, like right now, I often just surrender to insomnia. I’ve got tea and am on sofa with iPad.

I hope things get better for you. X