Back to work tomorrow, thank god 🙏

[Maskedsingerispants]

Dp..I can relax properly in my home again with my toddler Dd.
I can’t relax when he’s around, as in, if I sit and watch something or worse still, sit using my phone, he says that’s all I ever do. It isn’t.
I find myself spending most of the days he’s off doing jobs or seeming ‘Busy’
Can you sit and watch tv/go on your phone for a few hours?
It wasn’t like this before Dd came along and it *Is hard to relax with her wanting to play etc, but we go out lots, play with her lots, can’t we just sit sometimes

I am in the same position! My DP goes back on Tuesday! Cant wait to have a bit of time to myself! Glad I'm not the only one

So, are you saying your partner doesn't like you watching tv or doing anything sitting down and relaxing? That doesn't sound very nice at all.

Are you a stay at home mum? Is your partner happy in his job? I was a stay at home mum for a while and my husband used to make sweeping comments about me sitting on my phone, insinuating I had an easy life. As well as being pissed off given that I most certainly don't sit around all day, I put it down to a bit of jealousy because he didn't like his job that much. I think he thought I had an easy time of it at home with the kids .

@Purpleraspberry Yes, Sahm currently but worked full time, sometimes two jobs (tutoring and nannying at weekends) for over 18 years.
This is at weekends etc, generally I have everything done during the week so nothing needs doing, but if somethings left or if he’s doing something, he’ll make a big show of doing it and I feel I can’t just be in my own home and watch tv or be on my phone. We’re mainly out most of the day at weekends as it’s hard with a toddler, but have needed a few days inside during the so called holidays. Honestly, it’s easier on my own with Dd

@Newbie8365 I know 🙈 can just take my time and sit down for a bit, still manage to get much more done though and spend more time with Dd

DH has been WFH since March 2020😬I think I’ve had about an hour alone in the house since then!

I work out of the home, I used to relish my days with no one at home but feels like a thing of the past. I work shifts so would often have days off when DH was out at work and the dses in school.

DH is retiring in April so I feel like the universe has conspired to prepare me for his retirement🤣🤣 I am used to it now so it has worked, mostly….

@DontKeepTheFaith Can you sit down for a bit and relax though?

And people dread Single-Motherhood. Let me tell you OP, being a single Mother is bliss. Get him told or get him gone.

Does he ever take her for a few hours in the weekend while you get a chance to relax? And does he get the same? If you just get no downtime then yanbu and he needs to step up.

If on the other hand you're wanting to spend hours on your phone for a few hours or watching your own TV while looking after a toddler, then that's not great, really.

[quote Maskedsingerispants]@DontKeepTheFaith Can you sit down for a bit and relax though?[/quote]
Oh yes, absolutely. I’m used to it now and DH now sees how little I do on my days off. He really doesn’t have any issue with it, he knows how hard I work and would not say anything even if he thought it!

If you aren’t able to relax with your DH in the house, I would say that is an issue. You should feel able to relax and take time to do very little💐

This is so alien to me, but I'm looking forward to Tuesday so I can clean floors, dust surfaces etc. etc. without anyone fucking them up as soon as they're done. I have plans to polish things, FFS. No idea what's happened to me, I don't do this shit.

[quote Maskedsingerispants]@DontKeepTheFaith Can you sit down for a bit and relax though?[/quote]
Yes,I can. Whenever I want. It's bliss. It's because I'm single.

Why don’t you tell him where to go?!

I don’t spend hours doing it because I can’t with Dd, I’ve suggested time and time again that I take a few hours with her one day and he does the other. A lot of the problem is that she always wants to play with him/be around him because he’s off work and she sees me daily.
The other day, he was trying to fix something for the car (on the dining room table) and Dd was just wandering up and he was getting so cross and muttered under his breath ‘Do something!’ As in I wasn’t doing anything. I ended up having to take her upstairs to have her out of the way. Later I reminded him how I’d got up that morning, made Dds breakfast, done two loads of washing and put them out, dusted and hoovered, got DD’s lunch ready and sat down with a cup of tea and my own lunch whilst Dd had hers…this is when I went on my phone.
I was so angry at him. He’s a person who has to be doing stuff a lot, can’t settle, but I’m more relaxed and I get more done!

@arethereanyleftatall Yes, I can imagine. I’ve thought about it a lot, I’d miss Dd so much when she wasn’t with me though and I know he’d try for 50/50 custody

@UsernameInTheTown I feel so much lighter and relaxed, I’ve said this to him too

[quote Maskedsingerispants]@arethereanyleftatall Yes, I can imagine. I’ve thought about it a lot, I’d miss Dd so much when she wasn’t with me though and I know he’d try for 50/50 custody[/quote]
I'd have probably felt the same when my dds were toddlers, so I hear you. Would want to see them every day. As soon as my dc got to around 8yo, that had worn off though. And, now, at 11&13, I love my 2 free nights a week.