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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is a twat...

34 replies

loonietune · 01/12/2021 02:30

Brief outline ... I'm on disability for several reasons so I unable to work (not because I don't want to, I really can't) anyhoo - I have a 'friend' who's rather mean about the fact I can't work and claim benefits, he's also so ANTI government, he's a conspiracist and quite frankly drives me insane... recently on a visit we were talking about his job (he's a gardener and does pretty well) but when I asked him if he has an accountant to do his taxes as he's self employed he slips up and says no, he doesn't do 'that shit'....

So basically he's cash in hand - he doesn't have bank accounts (so 'they' don't know what he's got) but yet he's very vocal about HIM paying my benefits which is BS since he doesn't pay tax!!!

AIBU to think he's a bit of a shit head!??

OP posts:
MinnieJackson · 01/12/2021 02:37

He's a dickhead

Werehamster · 01/12/2021 02:43

You don't have to be friends with people you don't like.

Cucuclown99999 · 01/12/2021 03:03

Did he mean he doesn’t pay tax or he doesn’t have an accountant ?
If he’s making you feel bad for claiming
Then you need to be very vocal about him being a law breaker.

MiddayMass · 01/12/2021 03:06

I’d cut him off, he sounds like an absolute prick. Is he one of them Q-Anon twats?

Also, report him to HMRC and block on everything. He’ll soon have even more reason to hate the government

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 01/12/2021 03:10

YABU to call him a friend - even in inverted commas.

I'm no fan of the government (or governments in general) either, but I am a huge fan of society and community. If he isn't paying the taxes that he should (if I've understood you properly), what does it matter to him? He's arguably 'sticking it to' the government by selfish choice whereas you're also getting money from them, but out of genuine need in your case.

What joy does having him in your life bring you?

MiddayMass · 01/12/2021 03:13

Also, I bet if he were to be left disabled in an accident and unable to work he’d quickly be applying for benefits.

Or would he let himself starve in the cold on the streets on principle?

Absolute moron.

Sunshinealligator · 01/12/2021 03:43

"Friend, please explain, how are you paying for my (or anyone else's benefits) when you don't declare any of your income? If you aren't paying tax or NICs, you aren't paying your own way, let alone anyone else's. Really, considering that you have such an opinion on how everything works- I'm VERY interested to hear how the tax you do not pay is covering your own recourse to public funding, then every person who is on benefits in the country"....

Then I'd have nothing else to do with the tosspot.

What a fucking idiot. Also, I can't remember the amount I read, but I did read some years ago that it isn't until people are earning quite a lot of money that they are doing anymore than just paying for their own impact on the public purse. I always think of that when people go on about paying for people in benefits because generally they're people who are probably not infact paying for anyone else.

Dita73 · 01/12/2021 05:52

Yeah he’s an arsehole

Original poster
loonietune · 01/12/2021 06:45

It's quite amusing cause I've actually woken up to a 'we can't be friends, you're no good for me, goodbye' simply because after receiving no less than 25 videos and different websites on covid vaccines (and how we're all going to die now because we've had them) just in the last 2 days, I very politely asked him to stop sending me it as I wasn't his target audience! In fact this is exactly what I said...... 'I am asking you to please stop sending me this stuff. I am NOT your prime audience. Soz.' I don't think that was mean or unfair ....

He's one of these people that if you don't agree with him ALL the time - you're done. This is normal behaviour for him, he does this frequently.. I don't take any notice anymore, it's so common to get one of these texts and to be blocked .... Thing is, I never said he couldn't have his own opinion on what's going on - I just don't need or want to see it over and over....

.. and to the person who said report him, he's very sneaky. I've known him for almost 9 years and I don't know his last name or where he lives. I think I roughly know the area but not 100%.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 01/12/2021 06:49

Now he's ended the friendship, don't let him wangle his way back in. Ignore any future contact.

ThinWomansBrain · 01/12/2021 06:49

easy enough to report online
www.gov.uk/report-an-unregistered-trader-or-business

PinkSyCo · 01/12/2021 06:55

Why would you voluntarily chose to be around someone who drives you insane? Life’s too short for that. He’s done you a massive favour by unfriending you. Happy days. Smile

updownroundandround · 01/12/2021 07:05

You've known him 9 years, and still don't know his last name or where he lives ????Hmm

FFS, he's barely an aquaintence imo !

Block him without a seconds thought !

Howshouldibehave · 01/12/2021 07:09

I've known him for almost 9 years and I don't know his last name or where he lives.

That’s just bizarre

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 01/12/2021 07:16

I've known him for almost 9 years and I don't know his last name or where he lives.

😂

You’re playing fast and loose with the definition of the word ‘friend’.

Stop giving this vague acquaintance so much head spade.

DrunkUnicorn · 01/12/2021 07:19
  1. He is not a friend, just an acquaintance if you don't even know his last name.
  2. He is a complete and utter shithead as you say.
Elieza · 01/12/2021 07:39

He sounds like a right fuckwit. How does he think the country runs if we all just stop paying tax!!

He presumably has a van and it has a registration number. And a mobile phone.

Presumably those are enough to grass him in with as there should be an address linked to both.

Original poster
loonietune · 01/12/2021 12:09

He would be just an acquaintance but in the last 9 years I've spent many many hours in his company. He's one of these people that comes round and doesn't know when to leave. When he's okay and not being a big baby we speak regularly.....

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 01/12/2021 12:15

I don’t understand why it took you so long

Yesthatscorrect · 01/12/2021 12:31

I'd block him and dob him in. One of my brothers is like this and doesn't pay any form of tax. No car tax, no insurance, no MOT, no income tax. I told the Dvla and Hmrc.

Pascal80 · 01/12/2021 12:51

@MiddayMass

I’d cut him off, he sounds like an absolute prick. Is he one of them Q-Anon twats?

Also, report him to HMRC and block on everything. He’ll soon have even more reason to hate the government

what a nasty mean-minded post!
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 01/12/2021 13:00

So he drops around when he's got time off, without asking and rants at you. He sends volumes of annoying texts and messages about anti vax and tells you off when you don't agree with him.
Does he get you to feed him too?
Is he just there for tea and sympathy?
Does he add anything that a more regular friend might add to your life?
Do you have two way conversations? or is its all about him?
Does he go out socially with you or invite you to social things?
If you needed help in an emergency would he be there for you if it was something that was easy for him to do, or is he the last person you would ask?
Why don't you know his last name?
How many times has he done something nice for you?
Does he borrow money or things?
If the answer to these questions are negative, you have your answer.

FriendWoes111 · 01/12/2021 13:12

You sound just as twatty TBH with the whole self employed tax dodger trope. Maybe you should hook up?

CounsellorTroi · 01/12/2021 13:29

So basically he's cash in hand - he doesn't have bank accounts (so 'they' don't know what he's got) but yet he's very vocal about HIM paying my benefits which is BS since he doesn't pay tax!!!

So he keeps his money under the mattress? He sounds like a wanker anyway.

girlmom21 · 01/12/2021 13:29

It sounds like a lucky escape.

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